


Waiting To Breathe

by ravenangel



Series: Building a Life Series [1]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-03-20 14:59:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 66,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3654660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ravenangel/pseuds/ravenangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brad is seriously injured in combat. This is a story about the laughter, love, pain and work that goes into rebuilding a life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the HBO miniseries Generation Kill. Nothing is mine and nothing is associated with any of the real people, I'm just here to borrow the characters for a little while. This is my first fanfiction and I honestly don't know where its going to end up. Comments and questions are appreciated but please be polite and respectful especially to each other. There is a lot of medical based info in this story and as a result there may be inaccuracies please know they are all my own mistakes and no harm is intended. This story is personal for me kind of like therapy if you will. I went through something similar in my own life and writing this has helped me process what we went through to rebuild our Marine's life. I won't shy away from feelings or details this may be too much for some people and for that I say read at your own risk as this could be a PTSD trigger for some. This story for me is about unconditional love and its ability to sustain us when all else seems lost. We never regretted his survival or the life we've made challenges and all. We still fight everyday and together nothing will stop us. Semper Fi. I want to say a huge thank you to Jose_Kitty who has been invaluable in helping edit this monster and make my thoughts make sense.

Chapter 1:  The Call

Nate was standing in the hall outside Brad's ICU room, fighting the urge to hold his breath.  He was waiting to see Brad for the first time in a year.  Doctors were settling Brad in his room and would let Nate know when he could go in.  There's a phone ringing down the hall and Nate flashed back three days ago, to Friday.

...

It was 1 am and Nate's phone woke him from a dead sleep.  The voice on the line as unfamiliar as the number, a CAS officer telling him Brad was wounded, had been evac'd to Germany, and for further information to call this number.  Nate felt his eyes sting and his throat close up as tears threatened.  Taking a page out of Brad's book, Nate ruthlessly shut down his overwhelming fear and worry. He needed more information and breaking down now was pointless, there would be time later.  Nate steeled himself and called the information number, needing to know what had happened and what was going on with Brad. He was told Brad's injuries were severe and he was critical.  He survived the first round of surgery and was at the moment stable.  The plan was to ship him state side to Walter Reed within 48 hours and Nate could join him there.  After Nate hung up he took a deep breath and prepared to call family and close friends to let them know what happened.

Brad's parents were first.  His mom was ill, unable to travel at the moment, and Nate was worried she'd ignore the advice of her doctors just to get to her son.  He gave Brad's parents all the information he had, what happened and the number so they could use it to keep tabs on his progress. Nate promised to call them if he found out any additional news and let them know as soon as he got to see Brad.  The usual 'I love you's were exchanged and 'we'll get through together as a family' before the call ended. It was days like this that he adored his in-laws and drew strength from them.  Nate called his parents next and they offered to meet him in Bethesda but he declined.  Nate wanted to get a better handle on the situation before anyone came to help.

Nate was trying to figure out what to tell the rest of the people on his list, most specifically Ray and Walt.  Nate finally dialed their number and waited as the phone rang.  

Walt's sleep leaden voice answered, "Hello"

"Walt is Ray there?" Nate's voice was oddly short.  

"Yeah. Nate, it's late are you ok?" Walt asked anxiously, alarms going off in his head.

"I need to talk to you both, its important..." Nate drifted off.

"Hang on a sec Nate." There was a muffled grunt.  "Ray wake up Nate's on the phone and he needs to talk to us."  

Ray turned on the speaker phone sounding more alert than Walt despite just waking.  "Nate what happened?" Ray's brusque tone mirroring Nate's. He knew something was seriously wrong. 

Nate took a deep breath and then said, "It's Brad."  

"How bad?" "What happened?" They spoke together.

"He's alive, there was an ambush I don't know all the specifics, but he's hurt pretty bad." Nate relayed, sounding eerily similar to the lieutenant he was years ago in Iraq.  "He made it through the first round of surgery and they're planning to bring him state side to Walter Reed in the next 48 hours.  He's listed as critical but stable."  

Walt cleared his throat. "Nate are you ok? Is there anything we can do for you right now?" The compassion threatening to undo Nate's resolve. 

"I think I'm ok. It just doesn't seem real yet.  Brad's been through how many deployments; coming so close to dying so many times only to come back with scratches... You almost start to believe that he really is impervious..." Nate's voice cracked at the end as he fought to regain control.  

"Nate we can be there in 2 days," Ray began.

"Less if you want. We won't leave you to face this alone.  You and Brad are so quick to protect everyone from everything let us help and protect you guys for once." Walt cut in. 

"I don't want you guys to have to upend everything in your life you don't have to rush up here." Nate knew his words were pointless, they had already made up their minds. 

Ray and Walt laughed "LT, we're just going to pretend you didn't just say one of the most dumb ass things we've ever heard.  We'll be there by the time Brad is state side." Ray's mouth was definitely waking up now.

"Nate you two are not going to push everyone away least of all us." Walt calmly stated, the glare present in his voice as Nate heard Ray yelp.

"What was that for?" Ray whined in the background. Nate gave a shaky chuckle at their antics. "Ok, I'll see you in two, but you are staying at the house. No argument."  

"Ok, deal," Ray responds.

"Nate we love you both and we are going to make it through this." Walt said, "call if you need anything before we get there you don't have to go it alone."

"Thanks guys," Nate's tired tone signaling the end of the call.  "We love you too and I'll see you then."

The last call was Mike Wynn.  Clara, his wife, answered and handed the phone off to Mike. "Nate, what's wrong?"  

Nate breathed and felt the tears threaten to fall again, his voice cracked as he said "Mike it's Brad..." The tears slid down his cheek and a small choked sob fell from Nate's lips.  "There was an ambush it's bad.  I can't see him until he's state side.  It's going to be 2 fucking days in limbo with nothing but a number to call for updates."  He can't stop the words once they started.

Mike's familiar southern drawl was soothing.  "Nate do you want me to come out there?"  

"Not yet Mike, I don't know much. I just need to see him.  I can't do anything until Brad's back.  Ray and Walt are coming up to help... Damn it I just want him home!" The frustration breaking through in Nate's voice.

"I get it Nate. I wish I could get him home faster for ya.  Is there anything you want or need me to do to help?"  

"Can you let everyone else know what's up that needs to.  You know who all his friends are, and God knows the grapevine will take care of itself... Hell they might already know somethings up, but I want them to get the truth and get it from someone who knows." Nate paused, taking a deep breath and steadying himself.  "He's critical but stable.  The first round of surgery went well.  He's expected to be state side within 48 hours but I don't want everyone calling and trying to visit right away.  He needs to rest and to heal. I will let everyone know when it's safe to call or visit, either personally, or through you, Ray, or Walt. If it's not coming from one of the 4 of us at this time don't take it as fact."  

Mike chuckled, "You got it Nate."  

"Thanks Mike you have no idea how much this helps." Nate gave a half-hearted laugh, catching Mike's unspoken 'yes, sir.'  

"Nate call anytime day or night I'll answer.  You need anyone to talk to even just to vent you know it stays here unless you say otherwise." Mike's own SNCO command voice slipping into place. 

"Thanks again Gunny, good night."  

"Good night Nate make sure you get some rest, you're going to need it."

"I'll try Mike.  Talk to you later."

...

Nate snapped back to the present when Brad's door opened.  He looked at the doctor who smiled warmly.  

"Hello I'm Dr. Michaels you must be Nate."  

"How's Brad?" Nate inquired anxiously, polite manners flying out the window.

"He tolerated the flight well, he's still critical but stable."  The doctor responded patiently. 

"Can I see him?"  

"Yes, you can go in, but first I want to prepare you for what you will see.  He's on a ventilator to help him breathe; he has a collapsed lung and 3 severely broken ribs.  He was shot in the chest, luckily it managed to avoid everything major but his lung.  He has a hard neck brace on since he tore multiple ligaments in his neck. We will be going in surgically within the next few days to stabilize it, but first we want to make sure his condition is more stable." Dr. Michaels paused to check Brad's chart.  "As of his latest tests he seems to have full sensation and at least some movement in all 4 extremities so we are not too concerned with paralysis at this time.  He has a removable cast on his left arm due to a fracture. There is also a metal bar and pins attached to his left thigh. This is an external fixator and we are using it to repair a fracture to his femur." The doctor paused again. "He has an NG-tube in his nose that provides nutrition for him.  He also has a catheter, and multiple IV's.  He looks really beat up but he's doing well, really better than we could have expected given the extent of his injuries.  I also want you to know he was given a sedative before his flight and is sleeping at the moment but he will become more alert as he burns off the medication."  

Nate nodded at the doctor before asking, "is there anything else I need to know, or can I go in?"  

"No, I believe that is everything for now. Nate if you have any questions, concerns or need anything just ask for the nurses to page me and I'll be back as soon as possible to talk to you."  

Nate thanked Dr. Michaels and walked towards Brad's door, he was feeling a little shell shocked and nervous but wanted nothing more than to see Brad.  He steeled himself for what was on the other side and opened the door.


	2. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reality comes to play and everyone gets a turn.

Chapter 2:  Together

 

Nate opened the door and walked quietly into the room, eyes locked on Brad's bed trying to process what had been done to his husband.  As Nate looked at Brad's face he dimly cataloged the tubes and then the bruising along the left side of his face.  Nate leaned over and kissed his forehead.

 "Welcome home Marine." Nate whispered affectionately.

 Nate watched as pale golden eyelashes rested against Brad's cheeks hiding the icy blue eyes he loved so much.  The beep of the heart monitor and rhythmic hiss of the ventilator were only so much background noise.  Nate ignored the tubes and wires settling into the comfortable knowledge his husband, his Brad was home safe, and most importantly alive.  Anything else they would meet head on, together.  Nate is under no illusion that this hospital, or another one very much like it, won't be their home for the foreseeable future; and he will be there every step of the way.  Nate ran his fingers gently over Brad's hair, the baby soft feel of his buzz cut caressing his fingers, God he missed doing this.  

He kissed Brad's forehead again. "I missed you and I love you." 

Nate sat down on the chair and next to Brad's bed and grasped his uninjured hand, being careful of the many IV's.  He gently squeezed Brad's hand and gave a shocked chuckle when Brad squeezed back lightly.  "So you are in there." Nate said with a fond smile."Everything is ok Brad, you're in the hospital state side.  You're hurt but healing, rest easy Love I'm not going anywhere."

 Brad's hand relaxed as he listened to Nate's soft reassuring voice.  Nate gently ran his thumb over Brad's knuckles in a slow soothing pattern and watched Brad's face for any sign of awakening or discomfort.  He was rewarded with the peaceful look Brad always had when deeply asleep.  Nate settled in for a long and hopefully uneventful evening.

Nate was reading a book, still holding Brad's hand, when he was startled by said hand convulsively gripping his.  Nate looked at Brad's face and saw he was grimacing around the breathing tube.  Brad's eyelids fluttered but didn't open.  Nate was up immediately, standing in Brad's line of sight.  

"Brad are you in pain? Squeeze my hand if you're in pain."  Brad squeezed hard and released.  His eyelids fluttered again and Nate caught a flash of blue.  "Brad can you open your eyes for me?"  Brad grimaced and tried to turn his head.  Nate ran his fingers soothingly over Brad's head again.  "Don't move Love it's ok."  Brad's eyes fluttered again and Nate saw a brief flash of blue before they rolled back.  

"Brad look at me."  Brad's eyes rolled wildly around the room as he gagged on the  breathing tube.  Nate gripped Brad's hand harder got right in his face and used his best LT voice, "Brad look at me.  Stop fighting the machine relax and let it breathe for you."  Brad's eyes rolled to Nate wild with pain, confusion, and fear.  

Nate kept stroking his hair and said firmly, "Brad I've got you.  You're safe just stop fighting it will take over and get you back on track."  Nate watched Brad fight to calm down, his mouth moving around the plastic tube.  Nate kept talking, soothing Brad, watching as he relaxed and stopped fighting the vent. Nate smiled warmly as Brad's eyes slowly tracked to him awareness trickling in. "Hey there you are."  Brad gripped Nate's hand again and the tried to shift in bed, pain driving his heart rate and blood pressure up as Nate watched on.

Nate hit the call button and waited for a nurse.  The nurse came in and Nate said, "He's awake and in a lot of pain."  She did a quick check of Brad's vitals and told them both "Someone will be right in to manage the pain." Brad kept fidgeting.  Nate looked at him, "I know you're in pain, just squeeze my hand, listen to my voice and we'll ride this out for a few minutes together."

Fifteen minutes later, Brad had tears sliding down his cheeks. Nate had hit the call button three more times, getting more and more angry as time passed watching Brad in agony.  The door opened and Nate thought _finally_ , instead he heard Walt and Ray both whisper "Jesus Christ."  Nate looked up to see Brad's eyes were rolling back again as his back arched, as another wave of pain and muscle spasms crashed over him. He griped Nate's hand tighter and Nate winced slightly but let Brad keep holding on. It was the only thing he could do for him right now.  

Ray looked at Nate, "What the hell's going on?" 

Nate snapped, " They checked on him fifteen minutes ago went to get his pain meds and haven't been back since. I keep hitting the call button hoping someone will come back, but he won't let me go so I can get someone to help him."

Ray and Walt both looked at the hand Brad was gripping, Nate's fingers were purple, Brad's knuckles were white, and if they kept this up there was a very real chance Brad would unknowingly break Nate's hand, and honestly none of them wanted to deal with that fall out. Ray looked at Walt, "Help Nate with Brad I'm going to go drag someone in here, with bodily force if need be."  Ray walked quickly out the door looking absolutely murderous.

Walt quickly stepped up next to Nate and gripped Brad's forearm. "Brad let go of Nate's hand, take mine."  Brad didn't respond. His eyes kept rolling back in his head and he was out of sync with the ventilator again. Both the heart monitor and vent  blared out their various alarms as his vitals got more out of whack.  Walt leaned over Brad and snaped, "Gunnery Sargent!"  Brad's eyes were unfocused but they still snapped towards Walt. Firmly Walt says "Brad you have to let go of the LT's hand, take mine.  We've got you, I know it hurts but try to relax.  Ray's getting someone in here to help you." 

Walt grasped Brad's wrist as he let go of Nate.  Placing his hand in Brad's, Walt was shocked at how tight his grip was.  Nate moved closer to Brad's head, stroking his hair, kissing his forehead and speaking soothingly into his ear.  Brad started to calm down and the ventilator stopped whining, but his heart rate and blood pressure were still elevated causing the monitor to beep in warning.  

Ray opened the door and hauled a very unhappy looking nurse into Brad's room.  Nate looked up and asked, "What the hell took so long he's been in agony for a half an hour. Help him."  She came over and injected the medication in to Brad's IV port and within minutes he was calming down and his vitals were evening out, back into a safe range.  Walt felt Brad's grip loosen and then watched as he sluggishly reached toward Nate.  Nate took his hand and kissed his forehead.  

"It's ok Brad rest, Ray and Walt are going to stay with you while I go talk with the nurse and find out what happened, because it's not happening again." Nate bit out as he glared daggers at the nurse.  Ray came and took Brad's hand from Nate so he could go after the quickly retreating nurse.

Nate stepped out with her, "Ma'am what the fuck happened?! Why did it take so long to get him meds? He could have crashed with how crazy his vitals were getting."  

She wilted under Nate's cool assessment and answered meekly, "There was a miss communication and it slipped through the cracks.  I thought it had been taken care of but obviously I was miss informed."  

Nate closed his eyes and counted to ten silently and by the time he opened his eyes the nurse was apologizing profusely and promising Nate that she would do her best to make sure something like this never happened again.  Nate made a mental note to talk to Dr. Michaels about this and stalked back into Brad's room more than ready to make sure he was ok.  Nate stood in the doorway observing the way Ray and Walt watched over Brad.  Ray was saying something Nate couldn't hear but it got a half smile out of Brad.  Brad's eyes kept blinking closed and were slower to open each time.  

Nate walked in and gave them all a wicked smirk, "It's being taken care of, I've been assured of this, however, this happens again and all bets are off."  Brad blinked slowly and reached for Nate.  Nate moved next to him and took his hand and kissed his forehead again.  "It's ok Brad you can rest we've got watch."  Brad's eyes closed and Nate watched as the tension bled from his body as he drifted to sleep.

Ray noticed Nate had given Brad his other hand and stepped forward. "LT how's the hand?"  Nate held it up and Ray saw bruises were already starting to form, "Nate you need to get that looked at he might have broken your hand."  

"He didn't it's just bruised," Nate answered tersely. He didn't want to risk leaving Brad's side.

Ray gave him a disbelieving look.  "Homes I know how strong he is and he was holding your hand so hard it was loosing blood flow so don't bull shit me."  

Nate snapped, "It doesn't hurt and I can move it just fine so stop worrying about it."  Ray gave him one last look but wisely let it drop.

Walt asked, "So what's the word on Brad?"  

Nate sighed, "He's critical but stable.  They want to give him at least 48 hours to rest and continue to stabilize before they do surgery on his neck to repair the ligament damage.  He's going to be on the ventilator at least a week, most likely longer due to the severity of the lung damage. They are also worried about the possibility for infection, so we are going to have to keep a close eye on him.  After today's fuck up I really don't want to leave him alone. The thought of him going through something like that alone makes me feel sick."

They all agreed someone needed to be with Brad 24/7.  Nate looked at them both, "I need to step out and call both our parents. Mine can help us with Brad watch."  Nate kissed him again and whispered, "I'll be right back I need to go check in with our parents."  Nate watched as Brad reached for him even in sleep. Ray took his hand and Brad relaxed deeper into sleep.

 


	3. Parents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Updates and a surprise Skype call that leaves everyone feeling a little steadier.

Chapter 3: Parents

Nate stepped outside and dialed Mark and Anna's number.  Brad's parents answered on the second ring both anxious for news. Mark asked "Nate how's he doing?"

Nate smiled relief showing in his voice, "He's doing alright.  He's still on the ventilator and looks pretty rough, but he's holding his own.  He's been awake off and on, squeezes my hand in answer to questions.  Aside from one small freak out he's been fairly relaxed but wants someone's hand to hold.  I think it helps ground and reassure him that he's safe."

Anna asked, "What had him upset?"

Nate sighed. _Ok, Nate exactly how much should you tell them? They have a right to know what happened, but will knowing everything just make this worse?_  "It was a number of things I think.  Waking up in a strange place, having something in his throat and a mix up with his medication schedule all helped make him restless and uncomfortable.  Don't worry though we got the medication issue sorted and between Ray, Walt and I we are keeping a close eye on everything.  I promise you both he won't be left alone," Nate wanted to reassure them.

They both let out a relieved breath, "Thank you for taking such good care of him Nate.  I know he's your husband and you love him and want to care for him, but as his mother I couldn't feel as safe in this situation not being able to be there if it weren't for you, Ray, and Walt watching over him." Anna, it seemed, wanted to reassure Nate in return.

Nate was at a loss for words but found enough of a voice to say, "I love him and there isn't anything in this world that I wouldn't do to make this easier for him." Nate paused for a breath and proceeded with further updates, "They're talking about doing his neck surgery with in the next two days as long as he stays stable."  Nate bit his lip and pushed on, "I wanted to talk to his doctor and see if we could do a Skype call between you and Brad.  He won't be able to talk because of the breathing tube, and with all his medications I'm sure he won't be awake for long, but I think it would help all three of you if you could see each other. Would you be interested?"

Both of his parents excitedly said, "Yes!" before Anna continued, "thank you for finding a possible way for us to be there until we can travel."

They spoke for a little while longer before Nate wished them a good night.

Nate followed up with a quick phone call with his parents to set up a rotation schedule so they could help keep tabs on Brad and his care.

After all the calls Nate ran into Dr. Michaels in the hall.  They discussed some of the concerns Nate had and the Skype request.  While it was outside of normal procedure he did approve a short Skype session as long as it was no longer than 15 minutes.

Nate went back to Brad's room feeling more confident and sure than he had in days.  The respiratory therapist came in right after Nate.  She gave everyone a sunny smile as she introduced herself as Amy and prepared to suction Brad's air way.  Amy explained that as Brad can't cough with the breathing tube in they would need to suction out the tube using a smaller tube to prevent a build up of mucous.  She walked them through the procedure and then proceeded to start the process promising that it won't hurt him but might be a little uncomfortable.  

Brad slept through the first round of suctioning, but he was looking a little agitated by the start of the second.  Nate stroked his hair and talked to him about what was happening. Brad grabbed Nate's hand and watched warily as she completed the process.

Amy smiled and thanked Brad for his patience while she checked over everything after hooking him back up to the ventilator.  "I want you all to know this will be getting done regularly as long as Brad requires assistance from the ventilator.  Have a good night gentlemen."

Brad was fairly alert and looking around the room, he noticed Ray and Walt and gave a small wave.  Ray chuckled and said "Hello again to you too."  Brad gave a half smile and squirmed a little trying to get comfortable.  Nate asked "Do you want the head of the bed elevated a little?"

Brad squeezed his hand and Nate complied.

Nate smirked and said, "I have a surprise for you."  Brad looked curiously at Nate. "I got permission for a short Skype session with your parents if you are feeling up to it." Brad blinked in surprise, gave him a half smile and squeezed his hand again. 

Nate laughed, "Here's how this is going to work.  I'm going to have Ray get back to work as your RTO and set up everything on my laptop. I'm going to step out and call your parents so we can get this done while you are up for it."  Nate paused and looked at Ray handing over his custom laptop, "Here's my baby if you break it Brad will kill you as he put it together." Nate smirked, "if you break it he might kill you any way as we will have no way to make this Skype session happen." Nate stepped back into the hall.

Anna answered nervously, "Nate is something wrong?"  

"No, nothing is wrong I was just wondering if you wanted to Skype with your son?" Nate asked impishly.

"Mark go get on the computer we get to talk to Brad!"  Anna yelled, then directed her excitement at Nate, "Of course we want to Skype.  We want to see both of you, it's been way too long."

Nate laughed and gave them a quick rundown of what to expect Brad to look like and also to expect him to fall asleep at anytime as his meds keep him pretty sedate.

Nate went back into the room.  Ray looked at him and grinned, "Everything is set up and ready to go Homes.  We however are going to get out of here so you can have some family time."  Ray and Walt each gave Nate a hug and Brad a kiss on the head and wished them good night.

Nate tossed them the spare key which Walt caught, "Guest room's ready, see you both tomorrow."

Walt smiled. "Nate they just gave him his latest round of meds while you were out and the nurse said everything looked good." He paused as Ray opened the door, " Oh and LT just so you know you will be going home for a little while tomorrow, you need rest too."

Nate rolled his eyes as they left and went to sit on the edge of Brad's bed careful to avoid jostling anything.  Brad leaned into Nate as much as he could prompting a kiss to  his forehead, "Feel like snuggling?"  Brad rolled his eyes but didn't shift his position.  Nate carefully moved closer so Brad could have the contact he wanted. "Ready to see your parents?" Brad squeezed his hand and half smiled.  

Nate connected the call.  Brad's parents smiled the second they saw him.  Anna had tears in her eyes but she was obviously so happy to see them.  Brad gave them a small wave and a half smile before taking Nate's hand again.  Mark smiled, "Welcome home son we missed you."

Anna interjected "God we want to be there with you.  As soon as my doctor says I can fly we are on the next plane.  We have a go bag ready and waiting." Nate laughed for both of them and Brad's eyes showed his own amusement at his mom.

Nate asked "When's your next appointment?"

"Tuesday with any luck we will be there Wednesday."  Brad listened to everyone and started to doze looking more relaxed than Nate had seen him yet.

"My parents wanted you to know that you can stay with them when you come, that way you don't need to worry about a hotel." Nate offered.

By the time the call was ending Brad was asleep against Nate's shoulder.  His mom said, "We love you baby boy and are so glad you are home." While Mark gave a steady, "Rest easy son."  

Anna followed up with, "Nate we love you too so you make sure you take care of yourself too." 

"I will I promise.  Honestly I don't think Ray or Walt would let me get away with anything else." Nate mused.

"We'll call with our travel information as soon as we know." Mark reiterated.

"I'll call if anything changes and I'll let you know how his surgery goes.  We love you both too. Goodnight."

After Nate disconnected and shut down the lap top he moved to get up but Brad showed signs of distress so Nate settled in and fell asleep to the sounds of the hospital and the steady pressure of Brad leaning into him safe and sound asleep.

Nate startled awake when the nurse came into do rounds and meds.  She smiled and said "You shouldn't be up there."

Nate gave her his sweetest smile,"I know but when I go to move he gets upset and his vitals start to show it." To prove his point Nate got up from the edge of the bed while keeping a hold of Brad's hand.  Almost immediately Brad's heart rate and blood pressure picked up and Brad pulled on his hand. Nate tried to sooth him but Brad kept pulling and getting more distressed.  

Nate sat back on the edge of the bed and Brad settled instantly.  Nate arched an eyebrow at her.  She laughed, "Ok you can stay there as long as you don't touch or move anything and he stays calm." She finished her tasks and left them to sleep. Nate said, "Thank you."  

Brad slept settled against Nate's side holding his hand, which was how Ray and Walt found them in the morning.


	4. Necessary Pain

Chapter 4: Necessary Pain.

Brad was half awake, just watching his thumb as he rubbed it back and forth against Nate's hand. Nate smiled and kissed him, "Good morning. I love you." Brad squeezed his hand. "Are you in pain?" Brad blinked twice for no. Ray and Walt couldn't help but smile at them.

Walt said "Looking good Gunny." Brad rolled his eyes and gave them a thumbs up. Walt laughed, "Guess that means you're feeling pretty good too. How'd last night go?"

Nate gave a tired smile, "Good. His parents are hoping to be here by Wednesday, if they get the ok to fly."

Ray drawled, "How is Mama Colbert?" Brad shot him a dirty look.

Nate smirked, "She's doing well. As soon as her risk for blood clots has been cleared they'll be here. Honestly I'm worried she might come whether her doctor is on board with travel or not."

Walt and Ray laughed as Ray snarked, "Like mother like son both so damn stubborn."

Dr Michaels came into his room and smiled, "Good morning Brad I see you have visitors. Would you like them to step out while we talk or do you want them to stay?"

Nate took one look at Brad and responded, "They can stay."

"Alright, well medically you had a great night. This is actually the most stable we've seen your vitals, and as long as nothing changes, you will be having your neck surgery tomorrow at 0700. Following surgery you will still have to wear the neck brace for another 6 weeks. This surgery can take anywhere from 6-13 hours, depending upon what we find when we go in, and how complicated the repair is." Dr. Michaels paused for a moment. "I just want you to know how pleased we are with your progress."

Brad moved his uninjured arm toward his mouth. Nate took his hand and asked, "Brad wants to know when the breathing tube and feeding tube will be going away?"

Dr Michaels smiled, "First, the ET-tube is there so we can maintain your airway regardless of your ability to breathe on your own. Secondly, one of the injuries you sustained was a serious chest wound. The lung was severely damaged by the bullet and had collapsed. We were able to surgically repair the majority of the damage,and are using a chest tube to re inflate your lung. However, due to the severity of the lung damage, we are going to need to give you time to heal before we even think about weaning you off the ventilator." He paused to glance over Brad's chart and latest numbers. "The soonest I would even think about beginning the weaning process would be next week around Friday, but this is assuming that there are no complications or set backs and how you are progressing. That being said, you have my word that as soon as it's no longer medically needed it will be removed. Now for the NG-tube this is how we are feeding you at the moment and it will be staying until you are off the ventilator, and able to maintain your calorie intake on your own. You guys are hard to keep weight on at the best of times and your body needs fuel to help you heal."

Brad seemed mollified by the answers.

Dr. Michaels looked at Nate, "Now onto the next point of conversation. I hear you slept on his bed with him last night."

"I did," Nate confirmed. "He wouldn't let go of me. I tried to comply with the staff when they needed me to move but every time I left the bed his vitals would go nuts. He got really agitated and combative. It was safer for him that I stay next to him.

Dr Michael's hid a smirk and proceeded, "I observed this from his readouts and reports from the staff. I was going to say that so long as you don't mess with anything, and stay out of the way as needed, you may continue to do whatever necessary in order to keep him as relaxed as possible."

Ray and Walt both arched eyebrows while Nate glared at them. Brad gave a half smile. While Dr. Michaels smiled ruefully, realizing the way his words could be taken. "Well, I guess I walked into that one."

"A little bit, Sir," Nate laughed. 

"Ok gents, are there any questions?"

Nate looked at Brad for a minute as Walt and Ray groaned.  "Great they're doing their psychic routine again," Ray whined.

Nate chuckled, "No we're good, but I think Brad here is going to need something for pain soon."

Dr. Michaels nodded, "Not a problem. For the next round of work we need to do I'm going to ask Ray and Walt to step out. This should take about an hour," he said, turning to Ray. "Nate you are welcome to stay and if you do I'm going to have you help me with some of his care."

"Yes, I want to stay," Nate eagerly responded.

Walt smiled and started to pull Ray toward the exit. "We'll be back in an hour then. Nate, do you want us to do anything for you?"

"Yeah could you guys start updating people. I think I have 90 missed calls and messages. I don't care if you call them or send a mass e-mail."

"Sure, no problem Nate, we've got this." Ray quipped in usual cocky manner.

"Do you want us to talk to either of your parents?" Walt asked, pushing Ray through the door.

"No I'll do it once we're finished taking care of Brad. See you guys in a bit." Nate said tiredly. Brad waved at them.

Once Ray and Walt left Dr. Michaels started to set things up on his cart. "Alright Brad, first I'm going to administer a light pain killer. You will get stronger medications once we're finished."

He walked Nate through how to suction Brad's mouth and the ET-tube, then he put Vaseline on Brad's lips to help keep them from drying out. The catheter was changed next, and then they wiped Brad down where there were no bandages. Next Dr. Michaels checked his chest tube and changed the bandages. So far Brad was calm and relaxed. Dr. Michaels looked at Brad, "Can you move your right arm for me? Good, now squeeze my hand. Great. wiggle your toes on your right leg, move your foot, good. Everything looks great there." He looked at Nate next and said, "Alright we're going to roll Brad on his right side and then put pillows around him to help support him. The process of getting his position changed will be uncomfortable but it will be good for him. It will also allow easier access to his broken limbs."

They moved Brad into what Dr. Miachels called the recovery position and put pillows in front and behind him. Nate watched Brad's expression closely for pain as they moved him around. Brad fought hard to keep the pain from overwhelming him. Nate stroked his hair and held him still. Once he was settled Dr. Michaels started to remove the cast from Brad's arm. Nate felt nauseated as he looked at the swollen bruised and damaged flesh. Brad's fingers were very swollen and looked like greenish purple sausages.

Dr. Michaels cleaned the surgical site and then asked, "Brad can you wiggle your fingers for me?"

Nate watched the color drain from Brad's face as he tried to move his fingers, they curled slightly, but due to swelling he couldn't move them much. Once the evaluation was finished, they dressed his arm, replaced the cast, and placed it on one of the pillows in front of Brad. The whole process was repeated with his leg. Brad, barely holding onto consciousness, was ashen by the time they were finished.

Dr. Michaels finally was able to administer the stronger pain medications. "Ok Brad, we are going to leave you in this position for a while." He turned to Nate, not commenting on the decidedly pale tone his face had taken. "The pain medication will most likely make him sleepy if he nods off let him. If he needs anything hit the call button. I wanted you to know his feedings will be stopped at 2300 tonight in preparation for his surgery. Do you have any questions or need anything Nate?"   
"No." Nate answered distractedly eyes transfixed on Brad. He kept stroking his hair and holding his hand. Brad blinked slowly and relaxed as the medication started to work.

Ray and Walt came back shortly after the doctor left. Brad was half asleep, not even noticing their return as his eyes slid shut. They looked nervously at each other, noticing Brad's gray coloring and Nate's quick shallow breaths. Walt walked up behind Nate and wrapped his arms around him. Nate nearly collapsed into the touch. Ray joined Walt, wrapping his arms around both of them, whispering "It will be alright."

Nate took a shaky breath, letting it slowly out and nodding. "I know, but that was torture, hurting him like that. He's looking at me the whole time trusting me to make it ok, even though he was in such pain."

Ray buried his face in Nate's neck. "Of course he trusts you Nate, we all do. He knows you would never allow anyone to hurt him unless there was no choice."

They stayed cuddled together until Nate's breathing returned to normal. "So how many missed messages did I really have?

Walt smirked, "10 voicemails, 80 texts and about 100 emails."

Nate chuckled quietly, as Ray and Walt both gave him quizzical looks. Nate looked at them tiredly, "He'd never believe that many people care about him. I honestly think he wouldn't know what to do with it."

They both smiled at Brad. Walt reached out and stroked the soft buzz cut. "Well Nate he'd better get used to it half of bravo wants to invade the hospital and that's just one platoon he's served with."

Nate smiled sadly, "He's a lot more likable than he ever gives himself credit for."

Ray said, "Yeah the whole 'Iceman' title is such a misnomer. He's really a big softy, if you are lucky enough for him to love you back."

Brad shifted slightly in his sleep and squeezed Nate's hand. Ray tilted Nate's head up to make him look at him. "Nate you need a break."

Nate shook his head, "No I don't want to leave him."

Ray leveled a look at him that clearly said there would be no arguing. "LT I'm not asking, I'm telling. Brad's asleep and will be for awhile from the looks of it. Walt and I have him, take a walk, go outside, hell go home to shower and change. Make your calls to the parents or Mike even, I don't care but you need a moment away from this." Ray paused "He will be so pissed if you get sick because you aren't taking care of yourself. You know Walt and I will take a beating for not making you behave, and while I'm as kinky as the next guy I do not want Brad raining hell down on me because you won't listen to reason."

Walt chimed in, " You will be a phone call away if you go home. You can be back in 15 minutes." Nate's shoulders slumped and Walt grinned at Ray over Nate's head knowing they'd won.

Nate sighed defeated, "Ok, I need to stop at home anyway. You'll call no matter what if he needs me." Nate's tone was fierce, giving his men their orders even if they no longer served together.

Ray and Walt both promised, "Nate we've got him covered. We need you to take care of yourself. He needs you to take care of yourself."

"Alright," Nate caved, "I know when I'm beat." Nate squeezed Brad's hand and kissed his forehead and the corner of his mouth softly. "I love you Brad and I will be back soon. Ray and Walt are going to stay with you, just rest and heal."

Walt hugged Nate again and gave him a gentle kiss, cupping his face in his calloused hands. "Nathaniel Fick, we love you both and have been together far too long not to take care of each other." The quiet steel in Walt's voice making Nate pay attention to his words rather than Brad. "Let us take care of you both the way you've always taken care of us."

Nate smiled as he leaned his head against Walt's and kissed him back, "Solid copy Puppy, you win."

Ray smiled and hugged and kissed him as well, "Get some rest. We don't want you back here for at least two hours." Ray shook his finger at Nate.

Nate half smiled and rolled his eyes, "You really can't help but push it can you Ray?"

Ray smirked, "You wouldn't know me if I didn't, now quit stalling."

Nate kissed him back, "Keep and eye on him and if you need me for anything..." he drifted off, uncertainty clear in his green eyes.

"I know. Call. Nate I love you dearly but if you aren't gone in the next 30 seconds I'm ratting you out to Brad and he will just glare at you sullenly until he can properly punish you," Ray threatened.

"Ok. Ok. See you an a few hours." Nate reluctantly left ,watching the second half of their relationship take over. It never felt right to not be the four of them when they were all in the same area, but Ray and Walt were right, he needed a moment to himself to get his head squared away. He needed to find his bearings for all of them.

After Nate left, Ray took Brad's hand and Walt kept stroking his hair. Ray looked at Walt and watched as he kissed Brad's forehead gently. Walt smiled as Ray stroked the back of Brad's hand.  
"So do you think we should have told Nate that Gunny Wynn is waiting for him at the house?" Walt asked softly.

"Nope, he needs to be able to break down and he won't do it in front of any of us, or the parents." Ray answered, still watching Brad. "Mike knows exactly how to push Nate, hell he might be the only one other than Brad that will be able to get him to relax without serious intervention on our part."

Walt smiled "This is true. Thank god for Mike." Walt kept stroking Brad's hair, "Ray do you think anyone would believe our lovely Iceman is actually a big softy who loves nothing more than snuggling, especially when he doesn't feel well?"

"Nope, and as I'm not looking to die anytime soon, or have us replaced, I won't be enlightening anyone else to that fact either." Ray said with a grin.

Walt leaned into Ray, both watching Brad in silence as he slept on, safe in the knowledge that he wasn't alone. After an hour, Brad shifted a little and grimaced around the breathing tube. Walt stroked his cheek, "It's ok Brad you're safe just rest." He watched as Brad's eyes shifted under his lashes suddenly they shot open and his body jerked. Ray knew he was starting from a nightmare, he gently gripped Brad's bicep to keep him still as Walt spoke softly to him orienting him and reassuring him. Brad's ice blue eyes glanced between the two men and he slowly relaxed.

Walt gave him the sweetest smile when Brad focused on him, "There you are. It's ok Brad. We sent Nate home to get some rest he'll be back in a few hours." Brad relaxed and his eyes started to droop. Both Ray and Walt continued to sooth him. Walt kissed his forehead again, "It's ok go back to sleep Brad, your puppy and your Ray-Ray have watch." Brad squeezed Ray's hand as his eyes slid shut again.

Ray grinned at Walt, "You really can't help using the fact you're cute to your advantage."

Walt grinned impishly, "We're Marines Ray. We not only make due, we also use all weapons at our disposal to achieve our objectives."  
Ray laughed as the corner of Brad's mouth quirked up.


	5. Break Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate has a surprise waiting for him at home.

Chapter 5:  Break Down

Nate drove home on autopilot lost in his own thoughts, guilt started gnawing at him for leaving Brad.  He trusted Ray and Walt with his life. He knows Brad does too, but this is Brad, more vulnerable than Nate's ever seen him, and he hates the thought of not being there and missing something important.  He knows they'll call if he's needed but it hurts like a physical wound to be away. Nate wonders if this how they felt when he called to tell them what had happened.  Nate parked the car and walked in the house thoughts chasing circles in his mind trying to prioritize what needed to be done first. Nate walked passed the kitchen jumping as Mike drawled, "Kid you look like hell." 

"Gunny what are you doing here?" Nate inquired whipping around.

"The boys called, said you might need me so here I am.  Clara sends her love and food." Mike said with a grin. "Have you eaten at all since you got the call? Have you slept?"

 Nate sighed running his fingers roughly through his hair. "Foods been a low priority and I slept about 4 hours at the hospital last night."

Mike looked disapprovingly at Nate breaking out his best command tone, "Nate you're going to eat, shower and change.  If we're lucky you will take a nap."

Nate arched an eyebrow at Mike and snarked, "Yes sir."

Mike laughed, "Nate the only 'Sir' in the room is you, also I'm not Brad that won't work on me.  You have to make time for yourself too. Nate you won't do anyone least of all Brad any good if you run yourself into the ground. You know he won't thank you for it."  Mike sighed and raked a hand over his face. "I know it's hard, but you have to take care of yourself.  There will be no martyring yourself Nate not even for Brad.  I will not face that shit storm, even for you."

Nate half smiled, walked over and hugged Mike. "Thanks for coming even after I told you not to."

Mike laughed, "Nate you have to be able to lean on someone, we've been through enough to be able to be there for each other no matter what.  You're my brother Nate. I'd never leave you in the shit without coming to help you get out of it."

Nate chuckled,"I'm going to shower and change."

"Good.  I'll heat us up some food then we can talk.  You haven't looked like this since Iraq."  Mike commented as he turned toward the refrigerator.

Nate grabbed his clothes out of the bedroom and went to turn on the shower.  As the water got hot Nate stripped slowly, looking in the mirror.  Nate looked at the haunted expression in his own green eyes ringed in red.  He rubbed his face with both hands  _Dammit I haven't looked this wrung out since Iraq.  Well it explains everyone's reactions. I'm definitely going to need to take better care. Brad is on strong drugs for now but as he becomes more aware and less fuzzy he'll get upset too._ Nate gave himself one last look before stepping into the scalding water hoping to relax his tense muscles.  

Nate closed his eyes and thought about Brad.  When he's state side, Nate rarely showers alone. Brad would always slip in behind him wrapping Nate in his arms softly kissing the back of his neck.  He would then proceed to take over for Nate, washing his hair and body always finishing with his morning shave.  Nate would proceed to kiss him and do the same for Brad. A million different touches all conveying the same things. I'm here. I'm safe. I'm home. You're my world.  I love you always. You are my home... They went on and on touch saying what spoken  words seemed to mute. Before Nate new it, he was surrounded in the smell of Brad's soap and the tears were falling silently mixing with the water, washing all his pain, fear, and anxiety down the drain.

Nate stepped out of the shower changed into his clothes and slid to the floor head resting on his knees as he sobbed.  Mike came in silently and wrapped Nate in his arms as he cried himself out.  After a while Nate's sobs turned to sniffles and then quiet hitched breathing.  Mike rested his head on Nate's, "Feel better?"

Nate whispered,"Yeah."

"You know I'd take this from both of you if I could."

Nate half smiled, "I wouldn't wish this on anyone least of all you and your family Mike."

Mike ruffled Nate's hair, "Ready to eat?"

Nate nodded and moved off the floor offering Mike a hand up. "So what are we eating?"

"Clara's spaghetti, she mentioned it was one of your favorites." 

Nate smiled a true smile, "I do like it, but it's actually Brad's favorite."

Mike arched an eyebrow, "Well lets go eat Nate and as soon as Brad can have it, I'll make sure we bring more."

Nate ate, he tried enjoying it but  nothing has felt or tasted right since The Call.  He ate it anyway.

...

Brad was still sound asleep as Walt and Ray watched on.  Walt grabbed a tissue and wiped the side of Brad's mouth, "Do you think they'll be coming in to suction him soon?"  

As if in answer the respiratory therapist Amy came in all smiles again.  "Good afternoon gentlemen."  She set to work checking settings and then proceeded with the suctioning routine.  When she was finished she asked, "Would either of you like to put the Vaseline on his lips?"

Walt took it and carefully started to put it on Brad's lips.  He saw a slit of blue through Brad's barely open eyes and smiled at him as he continued with the application. Walt started when he felt Brad's tongue brush against his finger tip.  Brad gagged a little as the breathing tube shifted slightly.  Walt stroked his hair, "It's ok. No choking yourself."

Brad settled quickly and poked his tongue against Walt's finger again.

Walt chuckled as he handed the Vaseline to Ray, "Ray, I think he's messing with me, you finish."

Ray started to apply it to his lower lip and almost jumped when Brad did it to him too.

Ray looked at Brad incredulously, "You licked me!" The corner of Brad's mouth quirked up. "Oh yeah he's definitely fucking with us Walt. I can't wait until Nate sees this trick."

Brad shifted a little and his eyes fluttered open to look at Ray and Walt.  He tried to look around the room but couldn't see much. Walt touched his cheek, "Nate's not back yet Brad. It's been about an hour since we sent him home for a little bit.  He should be back in another hour or so."

Brad tried to roll over but the pillows kept him on his side.  Brad scowled slightly.  Ray laughed, "Sorry Homes, Docs orders. You need to stay on your side for a little while longer, give your back a break."

Brad rolled his eyes at them to express his irritation.  Brad moved his uninjured arm and leg to help get more comfortable.  He tried to move his injured limbs but it shot pain through the whole side.  They watched the color drain from Brad's face.  Ray re-positioned his injured arm and leg back on the pillows in front of him while Walt worked to calm him down.  

Walt had tears sliding down his cheeks, wishing he could take the pain away. He kissed Brad's forehead, "Love you have to stop trying to move around. You'll only hurt yourself more." 

Brad reached up and touched Walt's cheek. Walt wiped at the tears and whispered, "Sorry."  Brad relaxed as the pain passed and he slipped back to sleep.

Ray kissed Walt tenderly wiping away the damp spots on his cheeks, "It'll be ok Walt, he's just restless.  He's never been good at just relaxing and not moving around much."  Ray looked thoughtful for a moment, "Hmm. I wonder if we read to him if that would help distract him."  Ray grinned, "Yep that's a good idea I'll be right back. I'm going to the gift shop to get a few magazines and check out their books."

As Ray stepped out one of the nurses came in and checked Brad over, giving him his medications, adjusting his feeding flow, changed out the IV's  and checked his vitals.  She walked Walt through what she was doing and reassured him that Brad was improving.

An hour and a half later Mike and Nate stood outside Brad's room, "Gunny you want to go in and see him?"

"Sure Nate as long as you think he's up for it." Mike answered cautiously.

"I'm sure he'd like to see you." Nate replied.

When Mike and Nate walked in they saw Ray reading _Wired_  magazine to Brad while Walt stroked his hair.  Brad's eyes were open and he kept looking between Ray and Walt.  When he heard the door his eyes flicked in their direction.  Brad's mouth quirked slightly and he waved.  

Ray looked at Brad, "Hey, if you're not going to listen I'm going to stop reading."

Brad flipped Ray off.

Ray glared at Brad, "Fine you annoyingly ridiculous viking. See if your Ray-Ray reads to you again anytime soon."

Brad gave him puppy eyes and Ray rolled his eyes knowing full well he would cave the next time Brad needed a distraction. _Stupid blond haired blue eyed vikings think they can bat their eyes and get anything they want... Too bad this one is right._

Mike laughed, "Wow Brad can't even talk and it's like Iraq all over again.  You two fight like an old married couple."

"Shut it Gunny." Ray grumbled.  

Walt chuckled, "You know he's right Ray. Even with Brad not talking you two fight like cats and dogs."

Mike smiled at Brad, "Looking good Brad.  How are you feeling?"

Brad gave him a thumbs up.  While Walt smiled fondly, "They just gave him his latest round of drugs so he's a little high."

Nate laughed, "That sounds about right."

Brad reached for Nate, who smiled and took his hand.  Brad tugged until Nate gave in and sat carefully on his bedside.  Content that Nate was close enough Brad started to close his eyes.  Nate softly kissed his head, "Your lips look dry there Love." Nate took a tissue and wiped the corner of Brad's mouth and then took the Vaseline and started to put it on his lips.  Walt and Ray exchanged obvious grins. "What are you two grinning about?" Nate's eyebrows shot up as Brad licked his finger tip. "Really Brad?" as Brad cheekily did it again. 

Ray cackled "Seems to be his current way of fucking with all of us.  I'm fairly sure he's insanely bored and just trying to give everyone bad ideas."

Mike raised an eye at Brad, " Hey Iceman? I thought you were a hard ass?"

Brad quirked the side of his mouth and flipped Mike off as Nate laughingly said, "He is a hard ass but he's also a tease, and that gets worse when he's bored.  Thank god he can't move around too much or we'd have to really watch out. He's got a wicked practical joke streak."

"Well Colbert I'm glad you're feeling up to fucking with them.  It's good for them.  Keep em on their toes. Civilians." Mike egged them on.

Nate, Ray, and Walt all squawked, "Not civilians."

Mike looked at them all, "Fine you're still Marines but you've all been promoted to Mister."

Brad reached for Mike as the others laughed and conceded. Mike took Brad's hand and squeezed. "Glad you're home brother and that you're going to be ok." Brad squeezed back and then let go his eyes blinking slowly.

"Ok gents, I'm going to head out and let you all get some rest."

"Mike are you going to stay at the house?" Nate inquired.

"Naw, I'm crashing at Tim's. He's supposed to be back soon and I told him I'd get his place in order for him."  Mike drawled, "I'll check in tomorrow and if ya all are up for it I'll stop in."

"Talk to you tomorrow Mike." Nate replied as Mike walked out the door.


	6. Long Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night before surgery can be daunting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We always found night to be the longest part of the day when he was in the hospital. Nights before any major surgeries were the worst as he never reacts well to the restrictions of food especially when he was on a feeding tube, we always had to make sure they took extra precautions to keep his blood sugar in line. The toughest is the times that they get their days and nights mixed up, no one gets much rest then. Thanks for the kudos and comments I'm glad everyone is enjoying this so far. As always I own nothing and am just borrowing everyone for a little while. All errors are mine with no disrespect or confusion intended. Thanks for continuing on this ride with me.

Chapter 6: Long Night

While Brad was sleeping, they got the ok for him to lay on his back again. Nate also tried to talk Ray and Walt into going back to the house for the night. Something they vetoed out right. They did agree to go take a break and get something to eat.

While Ray and Walt were out Nate's parents stopped by to visit. His Mom, Mary, looked shocked to see how rough Brad looked, but Nate smiled and waved them over to the bed. Brad's eyes were just barely slit open but he wasn't awake yet. Nate's mom and dad hugged him, "How are you holding up?"

"Ok, I think. He had an ok day yesterday , a good night last night, and so far he's had a pretty quiet day today." Nate paused realizing he hadn't actually answered their question and smiled ruefully. "I went home for a little while today and got some rest, so I'm good. Ray and Walt went to go get food so they'll be back a little later."

Nate kept a watchful eye on Brad as he appeared to be dreaming if his eye movement was any indication. He watched Brad's eyelids flutter, then his eyes rolled back and then snapped open looking wild and disoriented. Nate put a hand on Brad's good arm, "Brad it's ok it was just a nightmare, you're home. You're safe. It's ok, relax Love. It's ok." Brad's eyes flicked around as he tried to reorient himself.

Nate watched as Brad's eyes locked on him and true awareness filtered in. "Hey Love, we have company." Brad's eyes flicked over Nate's shoulder to observe Nate's parents. He half smiled and waved a little.

They smiled and John commented, "Looking good son."

Nate's mom smiled at him and gently kissed his forehead, "Welcome home Sweetheart." Brad squeezed each of their hands as they took a turn holding his. "We're so glad that you're doing so well." Brad gave them a thumbs up as his eyes drooped with fatigue again.

Nate could see his energy flagging as he stroked Brad's hair and kissed his hand, "It's ok to sleep Love, you need your rest." Brad watched Nate as he slowly drifted off. Nate kissed his hand again and whispered, "I love you, sweet dreams."

Nate made plans with his parents to come back the next day and sit with Nate and the boys while Brad was in surgery.  
Nate's mom smiled and hugged him tightly again, "We'll call Brad's parents for you tonight Baby. You keep your focus where I know you want it, on him."

Nate smiled and hugged them both, "Thanks. I love you."

They gripped him tight wishing they could make this all go away. "We love you too son." They each kissed Brad's head before leaving and Mary couldn't help but tuck him in a little more securely. After they left Nate settled carefully next to Brad and nodded off.

When Nate woke up Brad was still asleep and Ray and Walt were sleeping in the corner, propped against the wall and each other. The nurse had covered them up with a spare blanket and was starting on Brad's routine. She smiled at Nate, "It's time to stop his feeding tube until after his surgery. Don't worry, we're going to keep a really close eye on his blood sugar levels and all his vitals. If his levels drop too low we can put him on a glucose drip to get him regulated until we can restart his feeds."

"Ok," Nate said tiredly, "Is there anything I should look out for?"

She responded with, "If he starts acting strange, disoriented, shaky, or anything out of the ordinary for him, etc. hit the call button and we'll be right in.

"Thanks Marcie" Nate said as he stroked Brad's hair and drifted back to sleep. Nate startled awake around 0230, looking at Brad to see what woke him. Brad was staring into space and his right hand was shaking slightly. Nate stood up and gripped his arm, "Brad, look at me." Brad was unresponsive. "Brad!" Nate called a little more urgently this time. Brad's body went ridged and his eye's rolled back as he began to seize in earnest.

Nate hit the call button, "Ray! Walt! I need you. Ray get help. Walt help me get him on his side. Ray tell them he's having a seizure."  
All three men were ghostly pale as they set about their tasks. Ray was back with medical personnel hot on his heals. They were ushered out of the room while the medical team went to work. They all stood outside the room with tears running silently down their cheeks.

Ray reached out and wrapped Nate in a hug as Walt hugged them from the opposite side, "He'll be ok Nate."

Nate whispered, "I am assured of this. He won't leave us now."

They stayed huddled together quietly as they waited. After what seemed like a life time the door opened and the on call doctor came out. "Alright gentlemen, he's asleep and stable, his blood sugar suddenly bottomed out and that is what we believe caused the seizure. We've put him on a glucose IV and will continue to monitor him closely. As of right now his numbers are normal and stable. The seizure lasted approximately 5 minutes, but he responded quickly to treatment so with that in mind we are not expecting any further issues."

Nate looked at the doctor concerned, "He's supposed to have surgery at 0700 this morning is that going to be effected by this?"  
"As long as he has no further seizure activity and his vitals and blood sugars stay stable the procedure will continue as planned." the doctor reassured them.

"Can we go back and stay with him?" Nate asked quietly.

"Yes as long as you let him sleep and he stays quiet you can go sit with him." The doctor answered before leaving.

They quietly returned to Brad's bed side. Nate observed the newest IV and that Brad was still propped on his side. They watched Brad's still form as Nate softly stroked his hair, "I love you Brad. Just hang in there and rest easy."

Ray and Walt both kissed his forehead, "We love you too, Brad. Don't worry about anything just rest." Ray and Walt settled quietly back in their corner as Nate settled in the chair next to Brad's bed. He lay his head down next to Brad's hand and after what felt like and eternity dozed off.

Nate woke at 0530 to Brad running his fingers through Nate's hair. This was something Brad loved to do when he woke up first.  Nate smiled sweetly as he opened his eyes to look at Brad.  "Hey you're awake. How are you feeling?" Brad was thinking _Like I got hit by a bus._ He waves his hand side to side.  Nate nodded "So so. Do you need anything?"  Brad half smiled and went back to petting Nate thinking,  _nope got everything I need right here in this room._  

Ray and Walt silently watched this rare completely open moment, smiling at the thought of how lucky they were.  Their family unit was still intact, hurting but whole.  They cherished these moments, the naked love and contentment, just being in each other's space.

They weren't kidding that no one would really believe them about this side of Brad, gentle and bare, no walls or masks just the essence of him being out there just for them.  They all worked so hard to never have him regret giving them the gift of his trust and love, showing him that they all feel exactly the same way.

Brad's eyes flicked to the corner were Ray and Walt were cuddled together, thinking  _Why in the hell are you both over there, you belong right over here with us.  God damn officers can't get out of their own heads enough to see the big picture._ Brad watched them for a minute and then waved them over.  Nate's head snapped up feeling like a selfish idiot as he smiled fondly at them, "Why are you just sitting there watching us?  You should be over here sitting with us." Nate chuckled at himself, "Gauging by Brad's look he's calling me an idiot officer for not seeing this sooner."  Brad's half smile said everything Nate needed to prove he was right.

Ray and Walt came and flanked Nate, who wrapped an arm around each of them, "We love you guys too, and we need you with us.  We are so grateful you are here helping us," Nate said gently. 

Ray kissed the top of Nate's head and said, "Sir you are so gay sometimes, but know there's no place we'd rather be."

Brad pulled Walt onto the edge of his bed and cradled his cheek.  Walt nuzzled his hand in return and gave him a lopsided grin. " We aren't going anywhere" quietly kissing Brad's palm.

They all had such raw naked emotion flitting across their faces. Ray leaned into Brad's space and kissed his forehead before settling back into Nate's embrace, "Not going anywhere.  This here is ours. I don't give a fuck what anyone else says or thinks, this is ours." Ray stated fiercely.

Brad closed his eyes for a second and a tear slid down his cheek. Walt gently wiped it away with a soft smile and kissed his cheek. "Brad, never ever doubt how much we love you and Nate.  There is nothing we wouldn't do for either of you."  Brad gripped his hand and squeezed. Walt squeezed back and then quietly switched places with Ray, snuggling into Nate's embrace and nuzzling the top of his head. Nate chuckled, "To think you wonder why we call you puppy."

Brad stroked his thumb across Ray's cheek, while Ray turned his head and kissed his palm. They stayed this way for a little while longer, but soon Ray kicked Nate over to the bed and settled in the chair holding on to Walt smiling as Nate carefully lay down next to Brad stroking his hair, then his cheek looking for all the world like he was memorizing everything. Brad held Nate's hand  stroking his wrist with his thumb. Nate stroked his cheek again, "God I love you so much."

The nurse came into do Brad's pre-op prep so Nate moved out of the way. "Ok gentlemen, we have about half an hour before we take Brad back to the OR." The nurse stated as she headed out the door.

Brad gripped Nate's hand. Nate brushed his thumb along Brad's wrist, "It's ok, we'll be with you right up until they take you and we will be here when you wake up after.  This will go smoothly, it's one step closer to going home. I am assured of this."  They all perched along the side of Brad's bed enjoying the closeness.  

Ray hugged Nate and kissed Brad smirking "This is maudlin, even for us, we need to stamp return to sender on the ovaries.  We are death dealing warriors, not teenage girls damn it!  Brad I love you and will see you as soon as they have your viking ass back in this room. You will be fine and anyone who says otherwise will just have to listen to me sing in protest."

Everyone cracked up as the tension left the room, Brad smiled and closed his eyes for a moment  _Thank god for Ray because this was getting overwhelming._ Walt smacked Ray upside the head, "Man, can you kill a mood." 

Ray glared back, "That mood needed to die, our emotionally repressed Iceman could melt from all this and then where would we be?"  

Brad's eyes danced with more life and mirth than they'd seen in days. Brad gave Ray a thumbs up for killing the tense mood.  Nate laughed "Wow you are both ridiculous, but we love you anyway, right Walt?"  

"Yeah I guess, cause Lord knows no one else can handle them." Walt chimed in.

The previously serious mood returned for a moment as they came to get Brad for surgery, but none of them could regret the moment of levity. They needed it badly, anything to keep from drowning in worry and fear.  "See you soon" Walt and Ray smiled.

"Love you. See you soon." Nate whispered as he kissed him goodbye.

 


	7. Operation

Chapter 7: Operation

Ray checked his watch impatiently and started doing the math, not liking the way things were adding up. He started thinking about how much sleep they kept loosing, how many meals have just been forgotten and really not liking the numbers. Looking at Nate and seeing he's already starting to loose weight and finally mentally puts his foot down.  _This is stopping right the fuck now if I have to fight both Nate and Walt.  We will be no fucking use if we go down just because we keep forgetting Brad is not the only person struggling with this.  Brad will kick all our asses if this continues. Alright Ray time to rule the world, or at least our little corner._

"Alright guys we're looking at a minimum of four hours before we even get an update. We are getting something to eat and drink now," Ray commanded.

Nate hesitated and Ray glared at him, "Nate we're just going to the cafeteria, getting shitty food and shitty coffee, and coming right back here to wait. You are coming with and you will eat period."

Nate nodded and headed for the door.  They walked down to the cafeteria picked up food and coffee and walked back to the surgical waiting room.  Nate paused at the information desk to see if there was any news.  He was informed that surgery started on time but as of right now there were no updates.

Nate started pacing as he called Brad's parents to let them know surgery was underway. It was 0300 their time but they still answered on the second ring. Brad's dad placed him on speaker phone and asked, "Nate how's he doing?"

"He's in surgery, they just started so there really is no information yet." Nate stated quietly.

Anna picked up that something was off with her son-in-law, "Nathaniel, did something happen that has you concerned?"

Nate bit his lip, "He had a low blood sugar episode a few hours after they stopped his feeding tube in preparation for surgery..." Nate trailed off "He had a seizure. He responded quickly to meds and the glucose IV that they started to remedy the situation and he's been fine since."

Anna gasped, "Nate are you and the boys ok?"

Nate gave a startled laugh, "Us? Yeah we're fine. It was tough to watch, but he was interacting with us at 0530 with no problem. He was his normal self. They said as long as there were no further issues surgery would go forward."

Mark asked, "Are you sure that you're all ok?"

Nate smiled, "Yes we're all fine. Brad doesn't remember the seizure and, well the rest of us are just trusting that things have been taken care of."

They talked for a little while longer, the call ending with Nate promising to call them after the surgery was done.

After Nate hung up the phone Ray took his arm, sat him down with his food and said, "You need to eat, Nate. There will be no more anything until you eat at least half of your food."

Nate looked at Ray prepared to fight with him until he heard the very real concern for him hiding behind Ray's rough tone.  He picked up his fork and proceeded to eat his now lukewarm breakfast. Ray nodded in satisfaction and went back to typing out a text on his phone.

After finishing his food, Nate pulled out his laptop and attempted to focus on a few emails from work.  He was going to be doing a lot of telecommuting while Brad was in the hospital. Luckily his job was very willing to work with him on the situation.  If Nate was being honest with himself the distraction was welcome while they waited.

Nate smiled when his parents came in to wait with them.  They gave them the rundown of the night.  After a while Nate went back to his email while Walt and Ray talked with his parents about random things, everyone trying to wait as patiently as possible for news.

After 8 1/2 hours of waiting the door opened and Brad's doctor came in to talk to them. Nate looked to Dr. Michaels who smiled warmly, and was on his feet before anyone else. "How is he? How did it go?" Nate asked anxiously.

"Nate, he came through the surgery with flying colors." Dr. Michaels stated, "There were two fractures that we were unaware of prior to surgery, but we were able to stabilize everything and he is looking at a solid recovery."  Dr Michaels paused, "He is stable and in the recovery room at the moment, just starting to wake up from the anesthetic.  We're planning on keeping him in recovery for at least another half hour and then we'll move him back to his room. He's very groggy and a little agitated.  We don't normally allow people back in recovery but we need him calm and I don't want to sedate him as it will prevent us from running tests that we need him awake for.  Would you be willing to come sit with him and talk to him?"

Nate looked at Ray and Walt questioningly. Ray rolled his eyes, "Nate go on. We don't feel left out, he's going to want you we know that."

Nate turned to Dr. Michaels, "Lets go. I'll be back as soon as I can," he said turning back to his waiting family. 

Nate scrubbed up and put on the surgical scrubs, booties, gloves, mask and hat that they gave him.  "Alright Nate, he looks the same as he did this morning except that his face is a little swollen from laying face down for so long during surgery."

Nate nodded "Ok, lets not keep him waiting any longer."

Nate walked into the recovery area and looked at Brad.  His face was indeed puffy and he looked groggy and uncomfortable.  His color was ashen and Nate noticed his blood pressure and heart rate were a little low compared to where he had been the last few days.  Nate walked over and knelt next to the bed as he touched Brad's cheek.  Brad's eyes slit open and Nate smiled, "Hey Love, you made it. You're in recovery so that's why I'm stuck in this get up." Nate dropped the mask long enough that Brad could see his face before putting it back in place.  "So I hear you're giving them a hard time." Nate stated as Brad reached a shaky hand toward Nate who took it and gently squeezed it. "It's ok Brad, you're safe here."  Brad's eyes slid back shut and Nate watched his mouth move around the breathing tube. "Hey doc, have you given him anything for nausea?" 

"No, not yet." Dr Michaels responded.

"I would do it sooner rather than later, anesthesia always makes him severely nauseous." Nate suggested as he stroked Brad's hair.

Dr. Michaels ordered he medications and dispensed them.

 

....

While Nate was with Brad in recovery Ray, Walt and Nate's parents continued to wait in the surgical waiting room.  The door opened as Mike Wynn and Tim Bryan walked in.  Walt grinned and Ray smirked, "Doc you look like you could use a weeks worth of sleep."

Tim groused back, "I could say the same for you two.  Where's Nate?"

Walt chuckled, "Back with Brad in recovery, he was giving them a hard time so they came and got Nate to settle him down."

Tim laughed, "Well it's always been the fastest way to get Brad's compliance.  How's he doing?"

Ray sighed, "He's been ok, uncomfortable at times. He had a fucking seizure last night and took like 20 years off all our lives.  His blood sugar dropped too low.  He was fine after they addressed that."  Ray paused long enough to breathe, "He was fairly relaxed prior to surgery.  He REALLY wants the breathing and feeding tubes gone, but he's holding strong."

Tim breathed a sigh of relief and visibly relaxed. "I'm glad he's doing so well.  It's better than I dared hope for."

Ray and Walt both did a double take and looked closer at Tim making note of the slightly haunted look in his eyes.  Walt's eyes widened in concern, "Doc were you with him when this happened?"

Tim blinked slowly, as if he was having a flash back. He suddenly shook his head, "Yeah, I was there. He was my responsibility."

Ray smiled, "Doc you got him home, a little worse for wear but he's home and alive. You don't need to worry you did your job and did it well."

Tim shook his head looking slightly pale, "You have no idea what it was like, it was so fucking close to going the other way.  God the thought of having to tell Nate I couldn't fucking save him... It was just unthinkable.  Hell it wasn't even a fucking option." Tim took a few deep breaths, "The only reason he made it this far was Nate.  We lost 4 in one Humvee and two out of the four in Brad's..." Tim trailed off, "This shit made Muwaffaqiyah look like a trip to Disney."  Ray and Walt both blanched at that, both hearing the echo of Brad's calm voice over the radio, "There's men in the trees," just before everything went to hell. Tim quietly said, "I went home long enough to stow my gear, shower and change. I had to see for myself that I didn't loose another one.

Walt reached out and hugged Tim, "Tim, you didn't. He's here and alive.  It's war we all knew when we signed on that there were no guarantees that we were coming home.  Christ we may not be out there any more but we do watch the news and we know damn well it's just gotten worse since we were there. No one blames you for the losses and we are so fucking grateful for the saves."

Ray chimed in, "Seriously Homes, if it wasn't for you Brad would be in the ground at Arlington, don't think we don't know that.  So thank you for fighting so hard for him.  Thank you for not giving up."

Nate's parents stepped closer his mom had tears sliding silently down her cheeks.  Nate's dad cleared his throat trying to dislodge the knot that had settled there. Walt looked at them and smiled, "Doc, these are Nate's parents Mary and John. Mary, John this is Tim "Doc" Bryan he was our corpsman when we were deployed in Iraq in 03.  He's the one who got Brad cas-evac'd."

Mary stepped forward and hugged Tim hard, "Thank you for bringing Brad home.  Nate would be lost with out him and we would miss our favorite son-in-law terribly."  

John shook Tim's hand and smiled, "You did your best. It might not always have been enough, but in Brad's case it was and we are so grateful for you and your skill."

The door opened and Nate walked in smiling content in a way they hadn't seen in too long, as soon as he saw Tim his smile got bigger. "Tim this is a pleasant surprise. When did you get back?"

Tim smiled, "Got back a couple hours ago. How are you Nate?"

Nate yawned, "A little tired but good.  It'll be about 15 minutes before Brad's settled back in his room, so if everyone wants to head back that way people can pop in and say their good-nights." 

"How's he doing Nate?" Tim inquired anxiously.

"He's good, a little swollen from surgery, more comfortable now that he's been given meds for his nausea.  Doesn't seem to be in any pain so I'll call it a win." Nate said with a genuine smile.

The parents, Ray and Walt all headed back toward the ICU waiting room while Mike stayed with Tim and Nate.

"Your sure he's really doing alright?" Tim asked again.

Nate looked earnestly at Tim, "Yes, Doc he's looking to make a solid recovery as long as no infections set in we're looking good.  We're just taking it a day at a time." Nate paused looking concerned, "What's going on Tim?"

Tim looked at Nate brokenly, "Nate I was with him... I was the one who had to treat him."

Nate looked slightly confused, "You were the one who cas-evac'd him?"

Tim looked away, "Yes."

Nate broke into a grin and hugged Tim.  "Thank you.  You did great with him, hell his doctor says you are the only reason he's alive let-alone looking at a possible complete recovery."  Nate paused looking at Tim's shell shocked face. "Do you want to go in and see Brad?  I'm sure he'd love to see you."

Tim looked edgy, "Yeah I'd like to see him if that's ok..."

"Do you want to have first shot or last?  He'll be more alert right after being moved." Nate encouraged.

"Can I go first then?" Tim asked hesitantly.

Nate grinned, "You got it Doc.  Let's get down there they should have him settled."

Nate and Tim were standing outside Brad's door Nate could feel the tension rolling off Tim.  Nate was thrown slightly off guard by this, he's never seen Doc rattled even in the middle of some of the craziest things Nate's ever experienced Tim was a calm steady presence.  "I'm going to go in and make sure he's settled, you can pop in in a minute." _  
_

Nate walked over to Brad's bed and looked him over.  Brad was surrounded by pillows keeping him on his side, a blanket draped over him.  The feeding tube was hooked back up, he was less ashen and his heart rate and blood pressure were a little better than before, not quite his normal but closer.  Brad's eyes opened and Nate smiled as he kissed his forehead.  "How's the nausea?" Brad gave him a thumbs up. "How's the pain?" Also a thumbs up.  "Are you ok with having a couple of visitors?" Another thumbs up. "That's good cause you have one visitor for sure who's pretty anxious to see you."  Brad gave him a quizzical look as Tim poked his head in.  

Nate smiled and waved him over, "Come on over, he can't see you from there."  Tim walked over to the bed and Brad's eyes widened slightly and he reached for Tim's hand.  Tim took it gently, "You look so much better than the last time I saw you."  Brad half smiled and squeezed Tim's hand, _No shit Tim the last time you saw me you were trying to keep me from bleeding to death or suffocating.  Thankfully you are great at your job and got me home to my family.  God man you look like hell..._

Tim smiled, "I've been worried about you, hell you were my first stop after home."

Brad arched an eyebrow and squeezed his hand again. Nate laughed, "He wants to know if you're ok."

Tim chuckled, "You crazy mother fucker, beat all to hell and you're worried if I'm ok. Wow, you are truly something else Brad." Tim paused, "Yeah I'm doing ok, could use about 20 hours of sleep though."

Brad half smiled and waved bye at Tim.

Nate laughed, "Ok he wants you to go rest then.  You can come back anytime Tim, you are always welcome here." Nate looked steadily in Doc's eyes, "hey Tim, if there's anything you need just ask."

Tim scoffed and shook his head disbelievingly, "Jesus you two are nuts, even when you have nothing left you still offer up more.  Ok if I need anything I'll call however, if  you need anything at all you call. I don't care what time it is."

Nate nodded, "Deal Tim.  We'll all help each other."

Tim squeezed Brad's hand again, "Stay strong and rest well Brad."

Nate smiled at Brad, "Are you ok if I walk Doc and Gunny out?"

Brad waved.

"Mom and Dad are going are going to pop in and say good night, then Ray and Walt will stay with you until I get back."

Brad waved toward the door again and closed his eyes.

As they walked down the hall Tim smiled, "He's looking so good compared to the last time I saw him.  I'm glad he's improving."

Nate smiled softly, "It's going to be a slow process but he'll get there of this I am sure."

Tim laughed, "He's the most determined person I know. If anyone can do this it's Brad.  Also with the support system he has, he'll be ok no matter what." Tim stopped, looking at Nate, "You know none of us would let either of you stay down."

Nate couldn't help but chuckle, "Don't I know it.  Tim you wouldn't believe the calls and messages we've been fielding.  Honestly if Brad really knew I think he'd be so overwhelmed.  Ray and Walt are going to be staying as long as we need them. I know Mike needs to head back home tomorrow, but if you want we're trying to keep someone with Brad at all times..."

Tim looked at Nate, " Yeah I'll help. I can stay with him at night while I'm on leave so that you guys can be here during the busy part of the day and still get some actual rest.  God knows you guys looked less worn out during the invasion of Iraq back in 03, which is sad when you look at what we were asked to do then."

Nate nodded, "I really want to limit visitors while he's still in the ICU. I want him to rest as much as possible and we don't want him exposed to any unnecessary infections.  Having the four of us and my parents around is one thing vs 3/4's of Bravo is a very different matter."

Tim laughed, "You ain't kidding there.  Don't worry Nate, it's ok to be accommodating but you are his first and last line of defense.  If you think something isn't in his best interest, veto it.  Also make sure you get copies of his medical records regularly, if he has a major procedure, any complications etc.  Make sure you have it documented, the copies will be invaluable if he gets transferred anywhere else for treatment or if you see any discrepancies it will just allow you to keep a closer eye on things."  Tim looked at Nate, "If you need any help navigating the medical side of things call, I'll help any way I can."

Nate hugged Tim hard, " Thanks Tim for everything.  Go home get some sleep."

Nate hugged Mike good-bye, "Nate I'll stop by tomorrow before I head out. Take it easy tonight kid, you've had a really crazy couple of days."

 

...

Nate's parents went into Brad's room and smiled as his eyes slowly opened.  Mary gently stroked his hair, "Hey sweetie everything went well." He half smiled at her. "We just came in to check on you and say good-night." Brad relaxed as she stroked his hair. "Alright Love we're going to let you rest." Mary said quietly.  

"Sleep well son," John added.  

She kissed the top of his head and brought the blankets up further around his bare shoulders.  "Good night son, we love you."  

Brad waved slightly and drifted back to sleep.

Ray and Walt quietly sat down trying not to wake Brad, which was pointless as his cloudy blue eyes locked on them and he reached for them with his uninjured hand.

Ray took it, while Walt rubbed his head and kissed the top of his head.

"Sleep Brad you need the rest." Walt said as he drug blunt nails against Brad's scalp watching as Brad started to relax and drift off.

They stayed like this for a half hour when Brad started to get restless.  Nate came in as Brad was waking up looking uncomfortable taking Brad's hand from Ray as he knelt in Brad's line of sight. "Brad are you in pain?" Squeeze.  "Are you nauseous?" Squeeze.  "Are you having trouble breathing?" Squeeze.

"Great the misery hat trick." Nate muttered. 

Nate gave Brad's hand back to Ray, reaching over to suction Brad's mouth and breathing tube.  Nate watched as his sats rebounded. "Better?" Brad squeezed Ray's hand. 

"Good, I'm going to step out and grab someone to see what we can do about your pain and nausea." Nate looked at Ray and Walt, "Keep him as calm as you can and if he gets sick roll him forward a little more and then suction his mouth we don't want anything to get in his lungs if we can avoid it. I'll be right back."

Walt nodded, "No worries Nate, we got him."

Nate was back with a nurse less than five minutes later.  She smiled and greeted everyone as she checked Brad's vitals, equipment, and loaded the medications.  Within minutes Brad was asleep again.

Things stayed quiet for most of the week.  Brad slept a lot, Nate, Ray, and Walt rotated out with both sets of parents and Tim, although they were the ones who were there the most.  Brad's parents arrived without a hitch, but his mom couldn't stay more than a few hours without needing to rest so they spent as much time as they could with him before heading back to Nate's parents house.  The rotation schedule was working for everyone and Brad was slowly but surely improving.

 


	8. Baby Steps

Chapter 8: Baby Steps

 On Friday morning Dr.Michaels met with Brad, Nate, Ray, and Walt to walk them through the process of removing Brad from the ventilator. They had been lowering settings and making Brad more responsible for the depth and frequency of his breaths. He also made sure to tell them that if Brad was struggling too much or was unable to maintain his sats on his own that they would be performing a tracheotomy and swapping his NG-tube for a peg tube which would be placed through his abdominal wall.  These procedures would be done not only for Brad's comfort but also to help prevent infection. 

"This can be a hard for everyone involved. Typically we have everyone step out while we do this, but I'm not going to do that in this case as long as everyone is fine with staying out of the way and Brad is alright with you being here," Dr Michaels stated.  

Brad gripped Nate's hand harder and then relaxed as Nate looked at the doctor, "We'll stay out of the way but we're not leaving him."  Nate paused, "What is the likely hood that he's going to need the tracheotomy?"

Dr. Michaels smiled and leveled with them, "I'd say it's a 50/50 chance that we'll need to do it.  He's been on the ventilator for more than two weeks, and while he's handled the weaning process well, he may not be ready to be completely unassisted yet. That is normal for this type of injury." Dr Michaels continued, "If Brad can do this on his own I want to give him every chance to do so.  The longer we keep the ET-tube in the greater the risk of infection and other complications such as vocal chord damage.  Also, if he does still need the help, we can put a speaking valve in place which will allow for better communication. This will be important as we move forward with therapy."

Nate looked at Brad for a minute and nodded, "Ok. Well he's ready, lets get this done."

Ray and Walt stepped away from the bed but still in Brad's line of sight. Nate moved up next to his head on the opposite side of the doctor so Brad could keep him close.

"Ok Brad I'm going to unhook the ventilator and then I want you to take a deep breath and blow out as hard as you can." Dr Michaels directed.  "1, 2, 3, breathe and blow, blow, blow.  Good job Brad."

Brad coughed and gagged as the tube came out.  Dr Michaels wiped his mouth and then placed an oxygen mask over Brad's mouth and nose.  "Slow your breathing down Brad. I know it hurts but slow deep breaths." 

Nate stroked Brad's hair, "Look at me Brad. Breathe with me." 

Brad struggled to match Nate's breathing, he was wheezing and struggling to pull in enough air.  Dr Michaels set up a breathing treatment and swapped masks. Brad was soon breathing warm, misty air and within minutes the wheezing lessened. Nate inquired, "What's this supposed to do?"

"It's a nebuliser treatment to help reduce the inflammation in his throat from the ET-tube being in place for so long.  We want to make sure that swelling isn't the reason he's having difficulty." Dr Michaels responded.

After the treatment they switched back to the oxygen mask, and while Brad's breathing was less labored, his sats were low and he was still struggling to catch his breath.  As his sats dropped further Brad started to get agitated due to the lack of oxygen.  Nate was fighting to keep them both calm, "Dr Michaels how long are we going to wait to see if he needs more help?"

Dr Michaels checked his vitals, listened to his chest, and kept checking his sats, "Ok, he's wearing himself out and getting no where, with your permission we'll take him back and perform the two procedures we discussed."

"Take him." Nate kissed Brad's forehead, "We love you and we'll be right here waiting for you."

 

....

Two hours later Brad was back in his room.  Nate, Ray, and Walt came in quietly pausing to look at Brad.  Nate hated the tube coming out of his neck, but he loved seeing his face clear of everything for the first time in weeks.  "He looks more comfortable." whispered Walt.

Nate smiled, "He does and it's nice to get to clearly see his face."

Ray chuckled, "I can't wait to hear his voice. It's been weird having him so quiet."

Nate smirked, "The speaking valve will be greatly appreciated I'm sure."

Brad whispered, "I can hear you, you know."

They moved next to the bed and Brad opened his eyes and smiled at them. Nate leaned over and kissed him, Brad touched Nate's cheek and kissed him back, "I missed that."

Nate smiled as a tear slid down his cheek, "I missed that too. I love you Brad."

"I love you too." Brad said as he looked at the three most important people in his life. "I'm sorry."

Ray arched an eyebrow, "Bradley what are you sorry for?"

"For scaring you all." Brad answered quietly.

Ray rolled his eyes, Walt laughed, and Nate raised both eyebrows while stating disbelievingly, "There's nothing to apologize for.  You didn't do anything wrong, and if you try to apologize for this again I will let Ray loose on you  to deal out whatever punishment he deems acceptable up to and including singing country music."

Brad quirked the corner of his mouth into a smirk, "Cruel and unusual punishment, Sir."

Walt laughed and kissed Brad softly, "I'm with LT, you did nothing wrong. You are here and alive. We're just glad to have you home."

Ray smirked and kissed Brad too, "You know how I love me some country music Homes."

Brad rolled his eyes.

There was a quiet knock on Brad's door before his parents came in.  Nate smiled and waved them over, wanting to see their reaction.  Brad's mom teared up as she saw his face, but she smiled so brightly through her tears. "You look wonderful Bradley."

His dad smiled, "You really do look great son."

Brad smiled and softly whispered, "Don't cry Mom, it's ok." 

Anna looked at Brad, shocked to hear his voice, before she laughed and cried a little harder. "Baby I'm not sad or upset. These are very happy tears."

Brad reached for her hand and pulled her closer to his bed so he could wipe her tears away. "It's ok Mom. I love you."

She kissed his forehead, "I love you too Baby. How are you feeling?"

Brad smiled, "Better. Sore and tired. How are you doing?"

She stroked his hair , "I'm doing just fine, getting plenty of rest and getting better everyday."

He kissed the back of her hand.  Nate noticed Brad's energy had started to flag. "Are you comfortable?"

"Can I get off my side?" Brad asked hoarsely.

Nate helped him roll onto his back.  Once Brad was propped up and settled, he started to fall asleep. Nate smiled and kissed him, "It's ok Love, rest."

Brad's eyes kept opening slower, his mom drug her fingers through his hair lightly scratching his scalp. "Sleep Bradley."

After a few hours Brad's parents kissed him good-night and left with promises of seeing them the next day.  Brad smiled, he was still drifting in and out of consciousness.

Nate, Ray, and Walt prepared to say their good-nights shortly after Tim arrived.  They talked for a little while about the day and things to watch out for during the night, reminding Tim if they needed anything at all to call.

"Hey LT, I think he's worn out enough from today that he'll sleep all night, but if we need you I'll call.  Seriously you three could use some serious rest yourselves. This is only going to get harder as he starts rehab."

Nate chuckled, "Don't I know it. Alright Tim, we're going."

Ray and Walt squeezed Brads hand and wished him a good-night.  Nate pulled the blankets further around Brad, who sleepily opened his eyes and smiled. Nate kissed him, "We're going to head home to catch some sleep, Tim's here if you need anything."  Nate kissed him a second time, "I love you and we'll see you in the morning."

Brad gave him a sleepy smile, "Love you too Nate. Get some sleep you look beat. Night Ray, Walt."

Brad was back asleep before the door had closed.

Tim gave Brad's trache a quick suction and then settled in the chair next to Brad's bed to read.  Tim enjoyed the overnight, taking comfort  in keeping watch for Nate, Ray and Walt.  He liked watching Brad rest comfortably and usually without incident.  This night was not going to be that kind of night.


	9. Another Late Night Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate is really starting to hate late night calls and surprises nothing good ever comes from them.

Chapter 9: Another Late Night Call

Tim was reading quietly until 0300 when Brad started getting restless.  Tim took a second to suction the trache and watched Brad settle back into sleep. 

Within an hour Brad was restless again, making a whimpering sound as he moved in the bed. Tim gently stroked his hair, "Brad it's OK. You're safe." Tim was shocked at how warm Brad's forehead felt. "Brad you're safe, its OK.  Wake up Brad " Tim was looking closer at the bright splashes of color on Brad's cheeks when Brad started awake.  He was disoriented and out of synch with the ventilator. "Brad look at me. You are safe. You are in the hospital. Stop fighting the ventilator let it help you."  

Brad fought to relax and turned fever bright eyes toward Tim, whimpering "Hurts."

Tim started looking over Brad and mentally evaluating him, "Brad what hurts?"

"My arm and leg." Brad rasped.

"How's your chest?" Tim asked firmly.

"Tight... hurts." Brad answered.

Tim squeezed his hand reassuringly, "I'm going to get the doctor in here so we can figure out what's going on."

Brad squeezed his hand harder, "Nate."

Tim smiled, "Don't worry Brad I'll call Nate as soon as I get the doctor in here to look at you."

While the doctor started to look Brad over Tim stepped out of the way, while still staying in Brad's line of sight while he called Nate.

The phone next to Nate was ringing on his bedside table. Nate started awake moving Walt's arm off his chest as he answered, "Tim what's wrong?"

Tim's concerned voice filtered in, "Brad spiked a fever the doctor is checking him out right now, but Brad's asking for you."

Nate inquired, "Ok, how's Brad doing?"

"He's hurting, and a little disoriented from the fever.  He's anxious and I know you are his safe place." Tim responded.

"Thanks Tim we'll be there in 20. If you can, tell him we'll be there soon." Nate stated firmly.

Ray and Walt were up and moving before Nate was off the phone. Walt put Nate's clothes next to him as he was hanging up.  Nate closed his eyes and took a deep breath, grounding himself before looking at them. Nate started getting dressed as he leveled with them, "They think he has an infection, he spiked a fever. They're running tests, but we need to get back."

Ray and Walt nodded, "Well lets go see what we can do."

Ray headed for the kitchen while Nate finished getting dressed. He handed Nate and Walt each an apple and a travel mug of coffee before grabbing his own. "I'm driving, lets go."

Ray had them to the hospital in 12 minutes.  They parked and headed to Brad's room.  A haggard looking Tim looked up and tried to smile for them.  "Hey gents he was taken back for tests, bronchoscopy, x-rays, a couple of scans and wound treatment. They said he should be back in his room in a couple of hours."

They nodded, and Nate cleared his throat, "How was he doing?"

Tim sighed, "He was ok, a little anxious and disoriented, but he was hanging in there." He paused, "They adjusted his pain meds which helped him relax a little.  They also put him on broad spectrum antibiotics. They'll switch to something more specific when they know exactly what the infection is." 

Walt glanced at Tim, "Do they have any idea what's going on?"

"They're suspecting staph but they need to wait for the cultures and blood work to come back." Tim answered tiredly.

They settled in to wait for news.  Three and half hours later a groggy Brad was brought back to his room.

Brad smiled sleepily when he saw Nate, Ray, and Walt waiting for him. "You came back." He whispered.

Tim and Nate laughed, "Brad I called him just like you asked. You're not feeling well, of course they came back." Tim squeezed Brad's hand, "Since they're back and going to be staying with you, I am going to head out. I'll see you tomorrow night.  Rest easy and feel better Brad. Try and get some rest gents. Nate call if you need anything."

Nate hugged Tim, "Good night Tim, and thanks again."

As soon as they were alone they all huddled next to Brad's bed. Nate stroked his hair, "Hey Love, how are you doing?"

"Better with all of you back." Brad whispered shakily.

Nate kissed Brad softly, "I need you to understand we love you. We will ALWAYS come back for you."

Nate kissed Brad's forehead and gently wiped silent tears off his cheeks.

Brad whispered, "I'm so lucky to have all of you even if I don't deserve you."

That had all three men looking at Brad incredulously. Nate cupped Brad's cheek and asked, "Why do you think you don't deserve us?"

Brad wouldn't look at them.  Nate inquired again, "Brad why do you think that?"

Brad still wouldn't look at them or answer.  Nate steeled his voice, "Master Sargent Colbert, I asked you a question."

Nate watched Ray's hands bawling into fists and Walt's jaw clenched so tight Nate was afraid he'd break teeth.  It was almost as though they knew what Brad's answer would be.

Brad looked vacantly at a point over Nate's shoulder and whispered, "They left because I wasn't enough. I wasn't good enough for them how could I be good enough for all of you..." Brad trailed off, "Especially now that I'm broken."

Nate took a shuddering breath trying to loosen the knot that had formed in his throat, "Oh Brad, I don't even know where to begin." 

Nate, Ray and Walt took turns kissing him gently.  Nate knelt down to be at eye level with Brad, while Walt sat on the edge of the bed holding his hand and Ray stood silently in the middle.  Nate gave Brad a sad smile, "You, my love, have no idea of your worth to us.  You are a vital and necessary part of us. We would be lost without you."  Nate kissed his forehead again, "The failure was not yours, it was Jessica's and Scott's.  They were weak and selfish and so painfully unworthy of you.  They violated your trust and did not understand or deserve your love or your loyalty.  They sure as hell are not worth your continued pain..." Nate trailed off and quietly muttered, "I truly hope I never see them again, because I don't know what I'll do to them for the continued hell they put you through."

Ray smirked murderously, "I sure as hell shouldn't cross their paths, I don't have the LT's restraint."

Walt grinned darkly, "We'll fuck them up, recon style."

Brad had tears sliding silently down his cheeks. "I love you all so much it scares me. I couldn't do this without you."

Ray smiled genuinely and wiped away Brad's tears, "You will never have to Brad. You're ours and we will always be here for you and with you." Ray took a deep breath, "You are our home and such a huge piece of our hearts. Semper Fidelis Brad, always and forever."

Walt chimed in, "We are not them. We won't break you and lay you bare, even if we did we wouldn't leave you or stop loving you.  We would help build you back up."

Anna and Mark stood in the door, silently watching these amazing men fight to heal the long festering wound in their son's heart, and for the first time they truly believed it's a fight that could be won.  They have no doubt that these men love and cherish their son, that they would do anything to see him happy, healthy and whole.  They couldn't love them more if they were their own sons.

They came into the room and hugged Nate, Ray and Walt and kissed Brad smiling, "Son we love you and the family that you have built for yourself." His dad started. 

"They love you unconditionally and in ways that Scott and Jess can't.  Please stop beating yourself up over something you can't change and truthfully shouldn't want to. " His mom continued, "These three will love you and follow you to hell and back, never regretting that they love you enough to allow you to be everything that you are without shame."

Brad smiled softly, "I know, I just hope I don't disappoint them."

Walt squeezed his hand, "never Brad."

Ray and Nate chuckled, "Walt's right Brad you never disappoint."

Brad was drifting off as Ray looked at Nate, "Hey when were you two idiots going to tell us he'd been promoted?" Ray sighed and theatrically gripped his chest. "I'm hurt you guys didn't call, that's huge news we missed out on."

Nate looked curious, "Well it happened right before he deployed, I thought he was going to tell you guys."

Brad blinked slowly, fighting sleep, "Sorry I was going to say something but kept putting it off. I didn't want to waste the little time I'd get to talk to anyone on something that small."

Walt and Ray both rolled their eyes, "That's not small Homes, it's huge." Ray started  "Congratulations Brad, you deserved it we're really proud of you." Walt finished.

Everyone settled in as Brad drifted off to sleep. They talked quietly amongst themselves and Brad slept.

....

 

Anna's head snapped toward the door as she heard it open. Nate didn't look until he saw her expression darken. Nate, Ray and Walt looked toward the door at the newcomers. Ray tensed like a coiled spring which had Nate and Walt instinctively holding him in place.  Nate's face hardened to an expression they hadn't seen since Iraq. "I've got this." 

Nate quickly walked over and took both newcomers arms and walked them right back out.  _Thank God his medications make him so tired_ , Nate thought grimly.  As the door closed Nate ,the LT, rounded on the offending parties. "What in the hell are you two doing here?"

Scott looked defiantly at Nate, "We heard he was hurt and we were in the area. Thought we'd stop in and see him."

Nate closed his eyes and counted to 10 silently, coldly snapping, "You didn't think to call to see if you would even be welcome here?"

Jess had tears sliding down her cheeks, "We didn't know it was so serious, Nate.  He looks terrible."  

Nate laughed harshly, "Actually he looks great.  He's fighting hard and doing fairly well not that it's any of your business." Nate looked at them so coldly any sane person would have backed away. "Does he know?"

"Know what?" Jess asked meekly.

"Don't play stupid.  Does he know that you are pregnant or were you dumbasses going to pop in and surprise him with your "good news" Nate snapped venomously.

Scott cockily responded, "We were going to surprise him, to cheer him up.  We were going to ask him to be the baby's godfather."

Nate laughed mirthlessly, "You people are a special kind of stupid aren't you? Let me break this down Barney style for you. No you are NOT going to do any of that. In fact for now, until he can make the call for himself, you are going to leave and not contact us." Nate paused, "He will no longer be participating in this ridiculous torture session you call a friendship, but actually just guts him, reminding him that he somehow failed you both."  Nate pressed on, "I'm so grateful he's still here and that he loves me. He has the most trusting and faithful heart I've ever seen and you both betrayed that in ways I can't forgive.  You blamed him and convinced him he wasn't enough, rather than take responsibility for your own part in this.  You rub his face in this life, that was supposed to be his, everytime you involve him and put him right in the middle of it for all your major milestones."  Nate was so angry he was shaking, "He puts on a smile and hides how much it guts him for YOUR benefit and you BOTH ignore it. If you knew him and loved him as much as you claim you would see the pain and stop, but no you are both selfish and know exactly what you lose if he walks away and you don't want that even if he'd be happier."

Scott stubbornly said, "If he wanted to walk away he would have."

Nate took a step closer and growled, "He doesn't walk away now because he feels some misguided need to pay penance for some perceived way he failed you both, also again see said faithful heart." Nate kept a very careful distance so he wouldn't do something he'd regret later. "I will do ANYTHING to see him happy, healthy and whole.  I love him exactly the way he is and I would NEVER ask or demand that he be anything else."

Scott glared defiantly, "Who gave you the right to make these choices for him?  We're family and you can't change that just because it makes you angry."

Nate raised an eyebrow and gave a smirk so reminiscent of Brad, "You aren't his family. I'm his family. The people in that room are his family.  The people he served with are his family." Nate paused and grinned, "As to who gave me the right?  He did.  He gave me the right to love, defend and protect him the day he married me."

"Bullshit!" Scott snapped, "We'd have known if Brad got married. We'd have been there."

Ray and Walt had silently walked up and flanked Nate as the argument continued.  Ray smiled predatorily, "Oh it's true Scott, they are married. I'd know I was there. I was Brad's best man and Walt here was Nate's."  Ray paused thinking back to that day and his smiled softened, "It was beautiful. Everything we could have hoped for them.  Of course you weren't there.  You weren't invited. We wanted them to have the perfect day, not have pain and shadows dogging their steps."

Ray stepped closer, "Now, you aren't wanted or welcome here, so please leave."

Walt stepped forward as Nate walked toward the nurses desk. "If you come back without Brad expressly saying he wants you here, we will seriously fuck you up.  We have a long hard fight in front of us and you are an unnecessary complication that Brad doesn't need."  Walt sighed, "We can't protect him from procedures or infections or complications, but we can and will protect him from you."

While Ray and Walt were finishing laying down the expectations Nate was at the nurses desk notifying them that neither Scott nor Jessica were allowed in Brad's room without prior approval.  When Nate came back over he stopped briefly, "Scott, Jess, we're done here. Have a safe trip home. We have an important place to be." He said dismissively as he turned on his heel and walked back to Brad's room with Ray and Walt following protectively in his wake.

Nate took one look at Anna and Mark smiling, "It's taken care of."

Anna smiled, "Good."

As they settled back in Brad opened sleepy blue eyes, "Where'd you go?"

Nate stroked his cheek, "Sorry Love we had to step out and take care of a few things." He kissed Brad softly, "Don't worry everything is fine."

Brad smiled trustingly and squeezed Nate's hand, "Stay." 

Nate kissed his warm forehead, "Not going anywhere.  Sleep love."

 


	10. Hanging by a Thread

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Complications and moving forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a little while since I updated this story. As a thank you for your patience this is going to be a long chapter. Also I have since turned this into a series, I've been doing a few one shots that have started to show things that happened before this particular story. If there is any scene associated with this story line you would like to see be written out feel free to leave a comment with the idea or one shot you would like to see and I will see about adding to the list of ideas I have. Hope everyone is well and continuing to enjoy this story.

Chapter 10:  Hanging by a Thread

 

 Nate sat in the chair next to Brad watching as he shifted in his sleep, waiting for Ray and Walt to return with coffee. It was 0530 on a Saturday and Nate knew they should still be sleeping, but for the last week they have been weaning Brad from drugs that had kept him in an induced coma and the last few days he's been showing signs of waking.  None of them wanted to miss the first time he opened his eyes with awareness rather than emptiness.  The door opened quietly as Nate glanced at them giving a small tired smile. 

Ray and Walt returned equally tired smiles, "Any change?" Walt inquired.

"He's been moving around a lot since you guys stepped out." Nate replied with cautious optimism.

Nate looked at all of them seeing the wear and tear the last six weeks of hell had cost them. It had started with a staph infection, moved on to pneumonia, then to just to top it all off he developed encephalitis and started having 25-50+ seizures a day which led them to the induced comatose state Brad had been kept in for the last 5 weeks.  They all looked more exhausted than when they invaded Iraq.  They had all lost a little weight, and their eyes were shadowed from lack of sleep, worry lines etched all their faces. They all looked at Brad as he moved restlessly, he was a shadow of the man they loved.  He'd lost at least 50 pounds and looked hollowed out and frail, even constant support from the feeding tube wasn't enough to keep him from substantial weight loss.  They all longed for the day he'd open his eyes and even more so the day he could start eating. Nate carefully held Brad's hand, "I love you Brad. We miss you."

Nate started as Brad squeezed his hand. They all looked immediately to Brad's face. Nate squeezed back, "Brad can you squeeze my hand again?"

Brad squeezed again and turned his head toward the sound of their voices. Walt carefully reached out and stroked Brad's hair, "Brad can you open your eyes for us?"

 Brad's eyes moved rapidly under his eyelids and he acted like he wanted to open them. Walt brushed his hair back off his forehead. "Come on Brad, you can do it. Let us see those baby blues." Walt quietly encouraged.

Brad grimaced and pushed against Nate's hand. Nate stroked his cheek softly, "It's ok, Love we're waiting for you." Smiling fondly Nate continued "We just miss you."

They spent 15 minutes quietly talking to Brad hoping that he might open his eyes.  That hope was rewarded a few minutes later when Brad's eyes fluttered open. He was disoriented and pulled his left arm tighter against his body fist clenched, with his right arm he moved to scratch at his neck but Nate intercepted him before he could pull at his tracheotomy.  "Hey, hey, it's ok Brad.  Sh, sh, sh it's ok Love, relax. You're safe. You're in the hospital. We've got you it's OK." Nate soothed. 

They were all grinning like they lost their minds as Brad became more alert and started to focus on them. This lasted long enough for Brad to look at each of them before he slipped back into unconsciousness.

Not long after Brad fell back to sleep Dr. Michaels came in for rounds, "Good morning gentlemen. How's everyone doing today?"

Nate smiled, "We're doing well today. Brad's been moving around a lot. He even opened his eyes and looked at us for a little while about 20 minutes ago."

Dr. Michaels returned Nate's smile, "That's great news, it means we should see positive results with our testing routine. Let's see if we can repeat any of this.

He shifted his attention from everyone else and focused on Brad. "Brad open your eyes." Brad turned his head toward them, "Brad can you open your eyes for me?"  After two attempts with minimal response he proceeded to rub two knuckles against Brad's sternum "Brad open your eyes."

Brad's eyes didn't open but they were moving under closed lids, he also scrunched his face in annoyance and tried to knock the offending hand away.

Dr. Michaels repeated this a second time, Brad giving him a flash of blue eyes and an annoyed sound as he tried to knock the hand away again. Dr. Michaels moved onto his uninjured hand and placed his fingers in Brad's relaxed grip, "Brad can you squeeze my fingers?" Brad squeezed weakly in response to the command as he tried to open his eyes again, showing the tiniest hint of blue.

Dr. Michaels moved onto his previously broken arm which was bent close to his chest, fingers clenched, and wrist bent stiffly.  He started to straighten the arm and was able to get it almost completely straight before Brad grimaced and let out a small whine of annoyance. Dr. Michaels then worked his fingers into Brad's clenched ones, "Brad squeeze my fingers." There was no response.

Dr. Michaels started to work on straightening Brad's wrist and fingers, gently rubbing his forearm to help the muscles to relax.  He was able to get Brad's wrist to relax and his fingers to start to uncurl before Brad started getting agitated. Dr. Michaels moved onto reflex testing as well as continuing to give Brad commands observing his responses.  The last thing he did was check Brad's eyes and pupil response. To say Brad was unimpressed with that would be an understatement as he jerked his head away and tried to knock the hand with the light away.

Dr. Michaels smiled as he covered Brad back up and looked at everyone. "He's responding well and I feel confident that he's only going to get more alert and responsive as he burns off the medications." Dr. Michaels paused looking over his chart. "OK I want to remind you that with the infection, the extreme seizure activity, and as we had to induce a coma to help prevent continued seizure activity we are not sure what, if any, damage was done to his brain."

He looked calmly at them, "That being said I do have some concerns that there is some damage. As you can see the way he has his left arm contracted and held against his body is a physical indication that something is going on. He's showing some signs of paralysis on that left side. I'm confident he has sensation as he expressed discomfort with manipulation but he was not responding with movement to commands on that side."

Ray nodded, "Alright, do you have any idea what we can expect as he wakes up? Is there anything we can do to help him progress?"

"The first thing I'm going to do is order a splint for his arm, so we can prevent the muscles from shortening and creating further complications." Dr. Michaels continued "I'm also going to be ordering ankle/foot orthotics or AFO's for his lower legs. This will help as we move into rehabilitation, it will also help with the foot drop we're seeing with his left leg."

Dr. Michaels paused to look at everyone, "I also want to get him fitted for a wheelchair so we can progress on with aggressive rehabilitation.  My plan is to get him fitted for it today and starting to get used to being in a sitting position over the next two days. Tomorrow we'll move him over to the rehabilitation unit and on Monday we will be doing evaluations with all of our therapy departments and develop a clear plan of attack based on where his needs are. Are there any questions?"

Nate watched Brad thoughtfully, "I know we won't really know what's going on with him until he's alert and can talk and interact more, but are we going to be able to be involved in his therapy and care?"

Dr. Michaels smiled, "I would like to keep you all as involved as you would like to be.  He responds well to all of you and we get much more out of him because of that. As long as you allow everyone to do their jobs none of us have a problem with a high level of involvement. In fact we strongly encourage it as you will be able to keep him focused and moving forward even during down time."

They all smiled in response. Walt asked, "Is there anything that he's going to need as we move into the evaluation and rehabilitation phase?"

"As far as clothing goes pick items that he can move easily in and are nonrestrictive. For shoes you will want tennis shoes that are a size larger than he would normally wear so we can accommodate the AFOs."  Dr. Michaels answered.

Ray nodded and stepped out to call Brad's parents so they could stop and pick up what he would need before coming to the hospital.

Nate nodded, "Is there anything we can do to help him put weight on or at least to prevent him from losing any more?"

Dr. Michaels sighed, "I've been looking into this and the first thing I want to do is change the formula and increase the calorie density.  The second thing I want to do is a swallow study on him as soon as he's alert enough to start attempting to eat.  The g tube is helpful but it's really not enough with all the energy his body has put into healing itself, so we do really need to get him taking in actual solid food as soon as possible.  I'm planning on checking on him later this afternoon to see if we can attempt it then."

Nate smiled, "It feels like we might be making progress. I know I like the thought of having a plan of attack. Thank you for taking such good care of him."

"Nate it's been my pleasure to work with all of you and we aren't done fighting for him yet." Dr. Michaels said with a smile, "I'm looking forward to having a plan of attack as well.  I'm also looking forward to really getting to finally meet my patient, personality and all."

Nate and Walt laughed, "Oh he's got personality alright."

 

....

They were sitting around reading to Brad when the therapist came in with the wheelchair and various attachments. Nate looked up from cleaning Brad's trache and smiled. The therapist smiled , "Hi I'm Cody and I'll be the PT fitting Brad for his chair today."

"Hi I'm Nate, that's Ray and Walt, and this is Brad." Nate replied while he finished with the trache.  _Thank god he's spending more time off the vent it will make fitting him for this chair easier._ Nate thought.

"Ok gentlemen here's what we're going to be doing, we need to put Brad in the chair and I will start making adjustments as I see where he needs the support.  The goal is to make sure that he's comfortable and safe while he's in the chair." Cody continued, "How alert is he?"

Nate smiled, "He's in and out, but he's been very good at following commands.  Dr. Michaels noticed that he has some strength and mobility issues on the left side this morning."

"Have you ever helped transfer him before?" Cody inquired.

"Yes I can actually move him on my own aslong as someone can make sure we don't get his g-tube or IV's tangled." Nate answered confidently.

Ray looked at Cody as he took the wheelchair and prepared to move it over to Nate and Brad. Ray smirked "Hey Cody if you could take this stuff we'll get him settled and let you get to working with him."

"No problem Ray." Cody replied.

Ray moved the chair and held it in place while Walt came over to take care of the IV's and feeding tube. Nate smiled at Brad where he was propped up in his bed and gently stroked his cheek. "Hey Brad can you open your eyes for me?"

Brad turned toward Nate as his eyebrows raised and he groped for Nate's hand. Nate took his hand, "It's ok Love keep trying." He kissed the top of Brad's head, "Ok Brad I'm going to pick you up and get you settled in the wheelchair that your PT Cody brought."

Brad's eyes were open slightly, and he scowled a little. Nate chuckled, "Hey none of that now.  This is good news it means we can get out of your room." He kissed the top of his head again, "It's one step closer to home Love. Are you ready?"

Brad whispered, "Yes."

Nate, Ray, and Walt grinned like maniacs at Brad's first word in weeks. "Ok everyone on three. 1...2...3..." Nate cradled Brad and carefully placed him in the wheelchair. 

Ray gently gripped Brad's shoulders as Nate moved out of Cody's way.  Cody buckled the lap belt, "Ok Ray it's safe to let go of him.  I need to see how much he can do on his own."

Brad started out fine, but he tired quickly and started to list forward and to the left.  Cody pushed the pads on either side of his chest flush against his ribs and then threaded and fastened the shoulder straps.  Brad's upper body was secure but his head was still listing down and to the left.  Nate touched his cheek, "Brad can you hold your head up?"

Brad slowly and unsteadily moved his head upright.  He held it up shakily and Nate watched as Brad's hazy blue eyes focused on him.  After a minute his head dropped and Brad let out a frustrated noise.

Both Nate and Cody told Brad to be patient and that he did really well. Cody looked at Ray, "Hey can you put your hand on Brad's left shoulder?  I want to check something out."

Ray complied as Cody turned his attention, "Brad I want you to try and lift your head up again."

Brad shakily lifted his head and then rested it against Ray's arm.  Ray chuckled as Brad tilted his head back a little more so he could see Ray, who smiled at Brad's open and inquiring gaze. "Yeah it's fine you can keep your head there as long as you want."

Brad half smiled and brought his gaze back to Nate and Cody.  "Ok Brad, gents this is the type of head rest I think will be the most beneficial to you at this point. Your head will rest in the bottom part of the U and the side supports will rest against your shoulders giving your head and neck more support.  It will make it easier for you to keep your head up and you can lean against the sides if you need to.  As you get stronger we will change you over to a traditional headrest."  Cody paused looking at Nate, "Can you unbuckle the shoulder straps and lean him forward into you while I get his headrest put in place."

Nate unstrapped Brad's shoulders and rested Brad's head against his chest where Brad nuzzled in a little. Nate ran his fingers through Brad's hair comfortingly, marveling at how alert Brad had become over the course of the morning. He could see there were some issues to be addressed, most of them seemed physical, but Brad hadn't really tried to speak yet so time would tell.

Cody broke Nate's line of thought, "Ok Nate go ahead and buckle him back in and then if you guide his head back and slide that arm down against his shoulder once his head's in place."

Once he was strapped in place Brad looked a little irritated. Nate smiled softly at him, "Hey I know it's a lot of straps and supports, but it's just for now Love."

Cody chimed in, "You're doing great Brad most people would have tried to kick me at least once by now." Brad arched an eyebrow at Cody.

Ray snorted, "Don't give him ideas he kicks like a mule."

"Ok Brad I'm going to adjust the foot rest and make sure you're comfortable  before I stop fussing with you and let you relax in your new ride." Cody stated as he set to work.  "Alright gents I believe we are set. Brad are you comfortable? Does anywhere hurt or feel uncomfortable to you?"

Brad gave him a thumbs up.

Cody paused, "Almost forgot this chair has one more trick that I think he'll like." Cody squeezed the handles and the chair slid down, mimicking laying down while still keeping him seated. "This comes in handy when he wants to rest but you don't have time between appointments to put him in bed."

Brad startled a little at the sudden position change but he smiled to let them know he liked it.

Cody continued, "Since it's his first time in the chair I'm not expecting him to be able to tolerate more than an hour or two, but I do want to keep him in the chair as long as he can tolerate it."

Brad's response was to close his eyes and promptly fall asleep. Walt laughed, "Well I guess he's ok with it."

Cody smiled, "Alright gents ortho is coming in shortly to make casts for his AFO's and fit him for his splint.  How long has he been off the vent?"

Nate smiled, "He's been able to go 8-10 hours without needing a break."

"Ok well I'm going to talk to respiratory about getting a portable vent for his chair should we need it available. Keep getting him in his chair as much as he can tolerate and I will see you all on Monday for his evaluation."

As Cody left a woman came in with a cart that had a lot of supplies on it. She smiled at everyone, "Hello, my name is Katie and I'm here to do casts for the AFO's and to get his splint fit for his arm."

Nate smiled and went through introductions.  Brad slept through Katie making the casts and only started to wake up as she began to straighten his arm, wrist and fingers, gently massaging the muscles of his forearm to make them relax.  Katie proceeded to ease the splint under his forearm and slid it onto his hand keeping his fingers, and hand in a relaxed position velcroing it in place. Brad watched her with half lidded sleep clouded eyes as she worked.  Katie noticed his eyes were open, "Hi Brad, I'm Katie and I'll be the one making your AFO's. I just finished getting what I needed so I will see you first thing in the morning when we make sure they fit."

Brad half smiled and slipped back into sleep.  Nate smiled at her, "Thanks for this. Have a good night."

Nate grabbed a blanket and covered Brad with it as Katie left. Nate sat in the chair next to Brad softly stroking the skin on his left arm. Ray and Walt sat on Brad's bed sipping their coffee while Brad rested. Dr. Michaels came into the room quietly watching Brad reach a shaky hand toward Walt's cup. Walt smiled and moved the cup at the last minute, "Brad I don't know if you can have anything by mouth yet."

Brad reached out again and this time Walt took his hand.  Brad pulled on Walt's hand. Walt smiled and brushed Brad's hair back, "What do you want Brad?" 

Brad pulled harder so Walt hopped down to kneel next to Brad, who reached for the cup again. Walt asked, "Brad are you thirsty?"

Brad whispered, "y-yes."

Dr. Michaels stepped out long enough to grab a cup of water and a mouth sponge before going back in.

Nate smiled, "Hi Dr. Michaels."

Brad glanced at his doctor before refocusing his attention on stealing Walt's cup.

Dr. Michaels walked over and stopped in front of Brad. "Hi Brad, it's good to see you awake." He smiled and continued, "Also, no Brad, you can't have Walt's coffee."

Brad narrowed his eyes and gave a discontented grunt.

Dr. Michaels knelt down to eye level, "Hey, Brad we aren't sure where you are with swallowing yet. I want to do a swallow study before we let you have anything substantial by mouth. The good news is I have something that should help you feel less thirsty." He pulled out the cup and the mouth sponge, swishing it in the water, "Open up" Brad complied and sucked on the sponge smiling as he let it go.

Nate laughed, "Like that do you?"

Brad whispered, "Yes."

Dr. Michaels proceeded to do a physical evaluation on Brad which he did fairly well given current limitations. Next he started a cognitive evaluation.  "Do you know who that is?" He asked pointing at Nate.  

Brad looked at him like he was stupid, "Y-yes."

"Brad I need you to answer who is this?" Dr. Michaels encouraged.

"N-Nat-t-te." Brad stuttered.

"And this?" Dr.Michaels continued.

"W-w-wat." Brad answered looking upset.

"Who's this?" Dr. Michaels finished.

"R-r-ray." Brad ground out.

"Do you know where you are?"

"Ospital" Brad answered hollowly looking more frustrated the more he had to speak.

Dr. Michaels smiled, "You're doing amazing Brad.  I know you are frustrated but this will get easier.  It's just going to take time and work. You are way ahead of where we expected you to be.  Keep talking even when it frustrates you and I promise you it will get better." He looked at Brad, "Are you ready to go do that swallow study and see if we can't start letting you get some real food soon?"

Brad smiled, "Yes, w-w-ant to e-t."

....

They got back to the room following the study, armed with fairly good news and a snack for Brad.

Nate cleaned and suctioned his trache, while Ray and Walt got Brad a cup with water and a straw.

Brad watched them all patiently, once Nate was done with the trache Brad reached for the pudding cup sitting next to Nate.  Laughing Nate asked, "You want your treat?"

Brad shot him a look that clearly questioned Nate's intelligence.

"Ok babe you win." Nate chuckled and picked up the spoon as he started to feed Brad the pudding.

Anna, Mark, Mary and John were watching from the door as Nate finished giving him the treat and let him take a drink of water.  Nate wiped Brad's mouth and then ran his fingers through Brad's hair. "Did you like that?" Nate asked.

Brad gave him a genuine smile, "Yes, N-nate."

Nate smiled still running his fingers through Brad's hair and kissed him, "It's getting long. Do you want me to cut it for you?"

Brad shakily nodded his head, "Ples."

Nate smiled as Brad reached for the cup again, "Want another drink?"

Brad grinned and Nate complied. "Ok Love, slowly."

Ray and Walt smiled at the parents, "Hi everyone as you can see we've had a pretty eventful day today." Walt stated as Brad shakily turned his head to see who was there giving them a sleepy smile.

"M-m-momm, D-d-dad." Brad stuttered.

Walt took the bag from Anna with a smile, "Go see him.  He's fairly alert and actually kind of talkative."

Anna and Mark both walked over and kissed the top of his head. "Hey baby we missed you." Anna smiled.

Brad rolled his eyes, "N-n-not a b-b-baby.

Anna laughed, "Bradley you are always going to be my baby and I love you."

Brad smiled, "l-l-ov  you t-t-w."

Anna ran her fingers through his hair, "It really is getting long. I haven't seen you with hair this long in more than 20 years."

Mary looked at Nate and Brad, "We have a clipper at home we can bring it in tomorrow if you want."

Brad smiled, "ples b-b-brin it."

Nate kissed the top of his head, "Looks like you have a date for a haircut tomorrow."

Brad smiled and closed his eyes. 

After a few minutes Nate stroked his cheek "Hey do you want to get in bed?"

Brad mumbled sleepily, "wit you."

Nate kissed his forehead, "ok with me."

Mark smiled at them, "I can pick him up and give him to you Nate."

Nate got the bed ready and then proceeded to unbuckle Brad from his chair before crawling onto the bed. Walt came over to manage the tubes while Mark cradled Brad.  Mark kissed the top of Brad's head. "I haven't held you like this since you were a little boy."

Brad rested his head against his dad's shoulder watching with sleepy blue eyes and a small smile. Nate was laying on his side as Mark set Brad down gently and covered him up. Brad watched Nate suction his trache and used the pulse ox to check his SATS. He kissed Brad softly, "Ok Love, time to give you a break. Your numbers are low." 

Nate hooked him back up to the vent  and kissed his lips softly. "You did great today. This is the longest you've been on your own yet."

Brad nuzzled Nate's shoulder and Nate laughed, "Ok you win." Nate adjusted them so Brad was snuggled against him resting his head on Nate's chest, within minutes Brad was sound asleep.

Mark watched them for a moment when Nate looked up, "Penny for your thoughts."

Mark sighed, "He's so light. I wasn't expecting that."

Nate smiled wrapping his arm tighter around Brad, pulling the blankets higher. "Yeah he's lost close to 50 pounds between the deployment and all of this.  Hopefully today is a good sign and we can get him eating solids regularly. Don't get me wrong the g-tube helps but its not the same."

Brad shivered against Nate.  Walt grabbed the extra blanket and draped it over Brad. Nate squeezed Walt's hand, "Thanks."

Walt smiled and squeezed back.  Everyone hung around for a while talking about the plans for the next few days, covering the new room assignment, transfers and evaluation plan for Monday.  After everyone left Ray and Walt settled on the roll away bed in the corner and all four men slept easy for the first time since this whole mess started.  They knew there was a lot of work to do but at least they were starting to move forward.


	11. Moving Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving onto a new room and a new step toward recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After giving what felt like an information dump this chapter is going to be a little shorter and hopefully a lot lighter, with fewer ghosts coming to visit on my end :)  
> This is a favorite quote of mine, "Maybe home is nothing but two arms holding you tight when you're at your worst." Yara Bashrasheel  
> So for now in this story Brad, Nate, Ray, and Walt will keep supporting and holding on to each other as they try to navigate what all of this means for them and their future.

Chapter 11: Moving Day

Nate woke to the nurse coming in to do a vitals check and dispense meds.  She smiled at Nate watching Brad sleep on against his chest. "Looks like you all finally got some much needed actual sleep Nate."

Nate gave a chagrined smile and ran a hand through his own hair. "It's easier to sleep knowing he'll still be here when I wake up. I like having him close so I know he's here and safe."

Marcie smiled, "So today's the big graduation day for him.  Moving up into the world of rehab."

Nate gave a genuine smile, "Yeah I can't decide if I'm excited or nervous, but I'm so grateful for the way everyone pulled him through so we can move on."

"I'm glad he's doing so much better than we'd expected.  Oh since you'll be getting a little more freedom today I thought you might like to know that it's supposed to be sunny and warm this afternoon." Marcie added.

Nate looked slightly confused, "Ok?"

She chuckled, "If you wanted to take him outside for a short time today would be a good day.  He's been stuck in this room for three months some fresh air just might help."

Nate smiled, "Ok, now I get it. He might like that. As long as it's ok I'll definitely keep it in mind."

Brad stirred in his sleep right hand gripping Nate's shirt as he mumbled, "Stp t-talkn.  S-slp" 

Nate chuckled and kissed the top of his head. "You've been sleeping. It's time to get up."

Brad opened his eyes and blinked, "no, still sleepy" Brad closed his eyes again and snuggled against Nate.

Marcie smiled, "Not a morning person?"

Nate smiled biting his lip, "Oh no he's more of a morning person than anyone in this room.  When he's feeling well he's awake by 0530 most days."

Marcie arched an eyebrow, "I'll take your word for it. I just wanted to let you know ortho will be in with his AFO's in about an hour and we'll be bringing him some oatmeal and applesauce for breakfast.  He's been officially given the ok for liquids, soft and semi-solid foods."

Nate sighed in relief, "So any word on how long he'll still need the feeding tube? Also would it be possible to get some strawberry jam or jelly that I can mix into his oatmeal? It might be the only way to get him to eat it."

Marcie smiled gently, "It's still going to be a little while yet Nate.  We need to start putting weight on him so as long as he eats well with his meals and snacks, we're hoping to cut the g-tube feedings down to the overnights just to make sure he's getting enough calories. I'll see what I can do about getting the jelly."

Nate nodded, "Ok I'm sure Dr. Michaels will be talking to us about it later too.  Thanks again."

Ray and Walt stirred on the roll away slowly waking up from their first complete nights sleep in forever.  Nate had to smile as they got up looking mostly awake. "Morning Nate, how's sleeping beauty?" Ray asked.

"He's good still sleepy if his earlier complaint was anything to go by." Nate replied smiling.

Ray and Walt went over to Brad's bag to start picking out his clothes for the day as Nate said, "Pick something that he could wear outside. Marcie said it was possible to take him out once he's moved and settled over in rehab."

Ray and Walt looked at each other and then back at Brad and Nate. "Ok, if you're sure."

"It's supposed to be sunny, so with a blanket we should be ok with keeping him warm." Nate stated cautiously.

They nodded pulling out loose jeans, socks, a long sleeve t-shirt and his go fasters. Nate nodded his approval shifting slightly so he could get out from under Brad as he rolled him over onto his back.  Nate started with unhooking the ventilator and suctioning and cleaning Brad's trache. Brad watched sleepily as Nate worked quickly and efficiently a little surprised at how good Nate was at this. Nate was looking forward to getting him dressed with the only impediments being his g-tube and the catheter. The IV's had been officially removed last night. All of his meds would be administered either by mouth or through his g-tube.  Nate checked Brad's sats and was pleased that he was holding his own easily.

Nate brushed Brad's hair back off his forehead and kissed him good morning. "Ready to get up and get dressed?"

Brad thought for a minute before smiling a little, "Ok."

"I've got some good news for you today." Nate said with a grin. Letting the question hang to encourage Brad to talk.

Brad cocked his head, "what n-n-news?"

"You get to wear real clothes today, they are  bringing you breakfast, and once that is done you are moving to a new part of the hospital.  You get to go to the rehabilitation floor." Nate said happily.

Brad smiled, "I l-l-ike cloths, nd m-moving." Brad paused giving Nate a dubious look, "b-b-br-r-ekfst?"

Ray laughed at Brad's concern over what was for breakfast. "He's got ya there LT."

Nate glared at Ray before looking at Brad, " you're getting applesauce and oatmeal."

 Brad frowned a little at Nate. "No oatmel."

"You're going to eat what they bring Brad, but I'm working on a way to make the oatmeal taste better." Nate placated.

Brad gave him a resigned look that clearly said we'll see about that.

A knock at the door broke their silent standoff as Katie came in carrying Brad's new AFO's. Nate elevated the head of the bed so Brad was sitting up and could see everyone easily.

"Good morning everyone. I come bearing presents."Katie announced cheerfully.

Brad arched an eyebrow at her and half smirked.

 " Morning Katie. What do you need from us to make sure they fit?" Nate asked

"First is he going to be wearing his regular socks over the compression socks?"Katie inquired.

Nate pulled the blankets up so Brad's lower legs were exposed and easy to access.  He quickly put on Brad's socks and pulled them up over the compression socks. " There we go is there anything else that needs to be done?"

Katie walked over and slid the AFO's on and secured them with the Velcro straps. "Brad can you move your feet for me?" 

Brad moved his right foot and leg with no problem, but was only able to get limited movement out of his left leg.

Katie checked the fit and asked, "Did anything hurt or rub anywhere?" 

Brad shook his head no. 

"Alright Nate I'm going to have you take them off and put them back on just to make sure there's no questions." Katie continued.

Nate did what she asked, "is that right?"

Katie smiled, "looks great Nate. Does it feel the same Brad?"

Brad answered, "yes."

"OK if at anytime these don't feel right or they feel like they're rubbing or cutting I want you to get a hold of me and we'll get them fixed." Katie continued. "Have a good day gents, and Brad congrats on getting to rehab."

Brad smiled, "T-thank you."

After Katie left Nate took off the AFO's so they could get to work getting Brad dressed. Walt and Ray stood on the opposite side of the bed as Nate angled Brad's legs off the side. Walt knelt behind Brad, supporting his upper body as they helped him sit. Nate made sure the new catheter bag was secured to his thigh before pulling his pants on over his legs as Ray had begun to untie the hospital gown and get it out of the way.

Walt went to hand the shirt to Nate but Brad took it and looked at Nate. He was a little less shaky today and having a slightly easier time holding his head up, "I wnt to hlp get d-dresd."

Nate smiled and nodded, "ok can I have the shirt?"

Brad held it out with a shaky hand.  Nate took it and held it open so Brad could help put it on.  Brad used his right hand to guide his left arm in the hole trying not to catch the splint on the sleeve before putting his right arm through the other sleeve as Nate brought the shirt carefully over his head avoiding the trache tube pulling the shirt down into place.  Brad smiled looking happy to have this small bit of independence. Nate grinned right back as he leaned Brad against his shoulder so he could finish pulling up his pants. Once Brad's clothes were on and he was sitting up against Walt, Nate knelt down and went to work pulling up his pants legs, putting the AFO's on, sliding the pants legs down and finally putting on the go fasters.  

Nate smiled as he looked up at Brad thinking _This is good, it's almost like normal, if it weren't for the medical equipment. I love seeing his independent streak coming out._

"Ready to get in your chair?" Nate asked.

Brad reached for Nate with his right arm so Nate proceeded to pick him up and set him down quickly buckling him in place before adjusting his feet and locking the arm of the headrest in place.

The door opened and Brad's breakfast was brought in.  Nate set the tray on his side table and then pulled it in front of Brad who looked at the oatmeal with distaste.

Nate couldn't help but smile at that look realizing he was going to have his work cut out for him.  Nate sighed in relief as he saw the jelly packet tearing it open and mixing the contents into Brad's oatmeal. "Ready to give breakfast a go?"

Brad nodded slowly, clearly not sure about this.  Nate took the spoon and started with the oatmeal figuring if he couldn't get him to eat all of it at least the applesauce could be a reward.  Brad stared at the spoon with the oatmeal dubiously but did reluctantly open his mouth for Nate who wasted no time getting the food in his mouth.  Brad swallowed slowly and looked at Nate with a little less defiance. "Ist ok."

About half way through the oatmeal Brad shook his head no to another spoonful. Nate asked, "One more bite?"

Brad shook his head no again.

"Brad are you ok? Is it upsetting your stomach?" Nate asked anxiously.

 Brad swallowed hard as Nate grabbed the little basin on his table putting it next to Brad's mouth just in time for him to throw up half the oatmeal he'd eaten. Nate brushed his hair away from his face.  "Are you ok Love? Are you done." 

Brad nodded yes  so Ray took the basin while Nate wiped Brad's mouth with a damp rag. "Do you want to try a couple of sips of water?"

Brad nodded again as Nate held the cup and straw so he could take a small drink.

When the couple of sips of water stayed put Brad reached for the applesauce. Nate smiled, "You want to try the applesauce?"

"Yes." Brad answered quietly.

Nate slowly fed him the applesauce taking a break between every couple of bites, knowing it would do no good if Brad got sick again.  He managed to eat the whole bowl of applesauce without a repeat of the oatmeal incident.  After eating Nate helped him brush his teeth and rinse his mouth. 

Brad was half asleep in his wheelchair when Dr. Michaels came in to check on them and take them to Brad's new room. "So how'd breakfast go?" he asked Brad.

Brad scowled a little, "Oatmeal sick. Aplesauce ws ok."

Nate stroked a hand over Brad's hair, "He threw up half the oatmeal that he ate, but he was able to keep the applesauce down we just took it very slowly."

Dr. Michaels replied, "I'm sorry the oatmeal upset your stomach but I'm glad that you did better with the applesauce. We're going to try some chicken broth with you for lunch and maybe try the pudding again since you did well with it yesterday."

Brad smiled and nodded his consent.

"So is everyone ready for the big move?" Dr. Michaels asked.

Ray and Walt nodded, "Everything is packed and ready to go."

Brad nodded, "Want out.  Want home."

Dr. Michaels smiled at Brad, "It's not time to go home yet but this is one step closer to getting there."

.....

They got Brad introduced to his new room and got his things put away while Dr. Michaels was looking over Brad's splint and the AFO's as well as talking to him and evaluating him. As Brad only ate half his breakfast they decided to do a small feed through his g-tube to compensate.  

Nate looked at Dr. Michaels, "Would it be ok to take him for a walk around, let him see some new things?"

Dr. Michaels said, "You can take him for a walk around the floor or if you would like you can take him outside for a little while.  If you go out I would recommend a blanket to make sure he stays warm."

Brad gave a huge smile at the talk of going outside. "Yes want t- g-g-go for a w-walk."

Nate wrapped his fleece blanket around his legs and tucked it in behind his shoulders so he was covered up. Nate, Ray and Walt each put on a light jacket and they headed for the door to the walking paths.

As they stepped out into the warm May sun Brad tilted his head back with a smile as he basked in the sunshine.  After a few minutes of enjoying the sun and the heat Brad opened his eyes looking around a little confused.  Nate pushed his chair over to a bench so they could sit down and see each other.  Walt brushed Brad's hair back gently, "What's wrong Love?"  

Brad frowned slightly, "It's nnnot rrright. Too warm."

Walt frowned in confusion, "Are you too warm?"

Brad shook his head no.  Nate paled slightly as he realized Brad's problem. Nate knelt in front of Brad and took his right hand, "You've been in ICU for a little over three months.  It's the 25th of April today."

Brad's frown deepened as he shook his head slowly side to side.

Nate continued gently, "You know you were really sick for a while there.  You were unconscious for 5 weeks while you were so sick."

Brad looked at Nate with wide eyes as he tried to process this information.  Tears threatened to fall as Brad seemed to be more overwhelmed with the news. "Wwwhy?"

Nate stroked his cheek softly, "you had a staph infection, then developed pneumonia, and after all that you developed encephalitis, which was caused by another infection. You had swelling in your brain which caused a lot of seizures.  The doctor said you most likely wouldn't remember any of it since you were unconscious most of the time. They ended up sedating you to try and control the seizures and swelling."

Nate gently wiped away Brad's silent tears and kissed him softly. "You're getting better. The encephalitis and infections are gone. You're still on medications to prevent seizures, but you are truly getting better." Nate kissed the top of Brad's head as he unbuckled the shoulder straps and moved the arm of the headrest so Brad could lean into him. Holding Brad close Nate ran his fingers through Brad's hair, "I know it's a lot to take in Love.  I'm sorry we didn't talk about this sooner.  We wanted to wait until we knew you were aware and could understand." Brad clung to Nate with his right arm, his shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Ray and Walt gently rubbed his back as Nate held him and stroked his hair. 

Walt whispered, "It's going to be ok Brad. We're here with you and none of us are going anywhere."

Brad's tears slowed as he relaxed against Nate's chest. "Are you ok Love?" Nate asked into Brad's hair. Brad nodded silently and tried to push himself back upright in his wheelchair.  Nate helped guide him back and buckled him in.  Brad's red tinted eyes were the only evidence of his tears. Nate covered him back up with the blanket as Brad shivered despite the heat.

Brad looked at them and quietly whispered, "Scared."

Ray smiled fondly, "What are you scared of?" 

"What iff tthis is mme now?" Brad stuttered.

Walt knelt to make sure Brad was looking at him, "Then it's you now and that's ok.  We still love you."

Nate took a deep breath, "Love we've waited, holding our breath, hoping you would come back to us. That you would get better and wake up." He kissed Brad's lips gently, "I would wait for you forever if need be.  If things never go back to what they were, I'm still going to be here loving you as much today as when we started, more so even. No regrets. No apologies."

Brad looked at them all carefully, Ray and Walt grinned, "Exactly what he said. We love you Brad and nothing will change that."

Brad nodded, "I wwant to get better.  Wwant to ggo home."

Nate smiled, "we want that for you too. Tomorrow we start working towards that goal. You start therapy and we will be there with you every step of the way."

Brad smiled, "l-l-lucky."

Ray grinned, "Yeah Homes, we're all lucky."

Brad shivered a little under his blanket. "Are you cold?" Nate asked touching his cheek.

"A lit-tle." Brad answered.

"Want to back to your room?" Ray asked.

"Yeah, hungry." Brad stated.

Nate smiled, "well then let's swing by the cafeteria and get everyone a snack."

They walked to the cafeteria, getting sandwiches for Nate, Ray and Walt, while getting Brad a yogurt and some juice. Once they got back to Brad's room they sat down and got everyone situated.  Brad reached for his yogurt on his table. Nate moved the table closer in front of Brad, while he picked up the spoon. Brad shook his head and reached for the spoon. "I wwant to try mmyself."

Brad shakily held the spoon as Nate held the bowl still. Brad slowly moved the spoon toward his mouth a muscle spasm as the last minute had him get a little on his cheek and lips but he got most of it in his mouth.  Brad's cheeks flushed a light pink as Nate wiped his cheek off. Nate smiled, "Nothing to be embarrassed about Brad, this is hard.  You have lost a lot of weight and a good chunk of that was muscle. You're doing great."

Ray grinned at Brad swallowing a bite of his sandwich leaving mayo and mustard on his cheeks. Walt laughed, "you still eat neater than Ray."

Brad smiled slightly and went back to work eating his yogurt. When he was done Nate kissed him softly. "Good work, also tasty."

Brad grinned kissing him back sleepily. "Hey do you want to get in bed or take a nap in your chair?"

"Chair s fine," Brad slurred eyes closing. 

Nate smiled fondly at him covering him up with the blanket as Walt rocked the chair down and kissed his forehead. 

Ray handed Nate and Walt their lap tops. "While he sleeps we can get some work done and Walt can finish his paper for school."

....

Brad and Nate's parents showed up just after dinner, Brad was wiping his face with a damp washcloth. 

Mary and Anna smiled, "How was dinner?"

Brad smiled, "Good. Nnot oatmeal."

Nate laughed, while Anna asked, "What's wrong with oatmeal?"

Brad scowled, "Ddon't like it.  Mmade me sssick."

Mary gave them an inquiring gaze while Brad looked at Nate. "He had oatmeal this morning for breakfast and it upset his stomach."

Anna ran her fingers through Brad's hair, "Sorry it made you sick sweetie."

John and Mark smiled as they pulled out the bag with the hair clippers in it.  Brad saw it and grinned at Nate.

Ray doing his best Sgt. Mjr. Sixta impersonation, called out "Grooming standard.  Master Sergeant Colbert you look like an Elvis."

Dr Michaels was standing in the doorway watching as Brad, Nate, and Walt cracked up.  The parents smiled at them laughing.

Nate saw the doctor out of the corner of his eye. "Hey doc."

"Looks like I missed a good joke." Dr. Michaels commented.

Ray smiled, "Yeah, we had a Sergeant Major who was a little obsessed with the grooming standard and Brad is in desperate need of a hair cut."

"Sounds like a plan.  I just wanted to come and see how everyone was doing. Also I wanted to let you know we'll be starting his evaluations at 0830 tomorrow.  Have a good night everyone. Brad I'll see you tomorrow." Dr. Michaels stated.

Brad smiled and waved good night.

The parents stayed for a little while longer before wishing everyone a good night.

Walt moved one of the chairs into the bathroom so they could cut Brad's hair with easier clean up.  He grabbed the trash can and a towel as he called to Ray and Nate that he was ready for them. Nate carried Brad in and set him on the chair where Walt and Ray steadied him. Nate wrapped the towel around Brad and set up the clippers, running fingers through the silky strands one last time. "Ready Brad?"

"Yes. I need tto see ttomorrow." Brad smiled.

 Nate started the clippers carefully starting to shave the hair into a short brush cut. He gently wiped the locks into the trash. Nate ran his hand over the 3/4 inch cut, "Short enough or do you want it a true buzz cut?"

Brad rubbed his hand against his hair. "It's ggood."

Nate shook the towel out into the trash and the wet a washcloth to wipe down his face and neck. "There you go Love. Looks great."

Ray smiled, "There's the Iceman we all know and love."

Brad rolled his eyes at Ray.

Nate, Ray and Walt worked together getting Brad ready before carrying him to bed.  Nate took off the splint on his arm so he could carefully stretch his fingers, hand and wrist.  Brad attempted to squeeze Nate's hand and was excited that he could get some response out of it. Nate smiled and kissed the hand before securing the splint in place.  Everyone was ready for bed early knowing tomorrow was going to be a long and busy day.  Brad insisted Nate sleep with him and Ray and Walt took the roll away again exhausted. Everyone was out cold when the nurse came into set up Brad's night feed and give him his meds.  She couldn't help but smile watching them, they were rapidly becoming favorites of the staff.  Brad's eyes fluttered open as he looked at her. "It's ok Brad go back to sleep I'm just getting your night feed set up." Brad nodded settling back into sleep.

 


	12. Testing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brad goes through evals and begins rehab.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been a while since I updated this. Real life's been nuts the last week. I'm hoping to get back on track this week. Hope everyone is still enjoying the story and the series.  
> Thanks for reading hope everyone is well.

Chapter 12: Testing

Brad woke Nate up at 0630 ansty and excited for the day.  Nate ran his fingers through Brad's hair as he kissed him good morning. Nate smiled softly, "Hey Love did you know this is the first night you've gone without any ventilator support?"

Brad grinned, "Nno. I didn't. Is that ggood?"

Nate chuckled softly, "Yes that's very good.  If you can keep breathing normally on your own it means they can work on getting your trach tube removed."

"Keep it down over there some of us are still sleeping." Ray groused.

Brad laughed, "It's mmmorning. Ttime to get up."

Ray sleepily flipped Brad off as he gently woke Walt so they could all start getting ready for the day.

Nate went through his normal morning routine cleaning Brad's trache, checking his sats, stretching his left hand and arm before putting the splint back on.

Ray and Walt pulled out a t-shirt and track pants for Brad as Nate helped him sit on the side of his bed. They helped Brad steady himself as Nate went to work helping him get dressed.

They let Brad sit on the side of the bed for a little while leaning back against Walt before Nate transferred him to his wheelchair.  They brought in his breakfast at 0730.  Brad glared at the oatmeal and reached for the applesauce.  Nate smiled, "Nope you have to have a little of the oatmeal first."

Brad scowled at Nate but reached for the oatmeal that Nate had mixed more jelly into.  He shakily took the spoon and went to work feeding himself.  He was a little messy by the time he'd finished, but he managed to eat most of his breakfast so Nate was happy as he gave him the washcloth to clean his face.

At 0800 they started to head toward the physical therapy room. "Good morning gents, hope everyone is ready to work." Caleb greeted. "This is Alex and he's going to be helping me with Brad's evaluation today." 

They all nodded to Alex and turned their attention back to Brad and the task at hand.

Brad smiled, "I'm ready."

"Great. Nate if you could bring him over to this table we're going to see how he handles position changes." Caleb paused, "ok Brad what I'm going to do is strap you in so you can't get hurt and then we're going to start to tilt the table up to see how you handle being in a standing position."

Brad nodded as Nate pushed him over to the table and then transferred him onto it. Caleb went to work strapping Brad in place, "are you comfortable? Is anything too tight?"

"I'm OK." Brad answered.

They started to tilt the table and got 3/4 of the way to standing before Brad got pale and dizzy. Caleb waited until he adjusted and then continued to tilt him up right. When he was standing Brad smiled as he got to look around easier. Caleb smiled, "damn you're tall."

Brad laughed as Nate, Ray, and Walt grinned at seeing him standing for the first time in months. 

Ray asked Brad, "How's the view from up there?"

Brad smiled, "Good. I missed it."

They moved on from the tilt table over to another table where Caleb had Nate set Brad down so he could evaluate Brad's ability to sit up and hold his head up. "Brad I'm going to take off the splint on your wrist so you can use that arm easier." Caleb stated.

Brad nodded and held his arm out shakily. Brad was able to sit up with Alex behind him to steady him when needed and Caleb in front of him to make sure he didn't fall forward.  Brad placed both hands at his sides on the table to help keep his balance. He still fatigued quickly but was much improved at holding his head up and even managed 5 minutes sitting with minimal assistance. 

"Well Brad with as well as you are doing with your head control we could be changing your headrest in a day or two if you keep this up." Caleb smiled.

Ray and Walt gave Brad a thumbs up while Nate beamed at him with pride at Brad's improvements.

Following the sitting exercises Caleb had Nate wheel Brad to the parallel bars after he put a belt around Brad's waist.  "Ok Brad can you reach out and hold onto the bars?" Caleb asked.

Brad nodded and reached out gripping the bar with his right hand and shakily reached out with his left arm, the fingers curled into a looser fist as he attempted to grip the bar. Caleb carefully helped him wrap his fingers around the bar so he could hold on safely. "Ok on the count of 3 I'm going to lift you into a standing position and Alex is going to hold onto the gait belt I put on you so we can keep you standing. Ready?"

"Yes" Brad answered quietly.

"1...2...3 up." Caleb counted.

Alex used the gait belt to anchor Brad and keep him up as Caleb steadied him from the front as Brad wavered. Brad's color drained from his face and he closed his eyes tight. " Brad are you OK? Do we need to sit you back down?" Caleb inquired.  

Brad shook his head no.

Nate looked at Brad with concern, "do you need to sit down?"

"Nnno.  Give mme a minute." Brad stuttered breathing hard slowly opening his eyes.

Caleb's gaze flicked to Nate silently asking what to do. Nate shook his head slightly to let him try. As he watched, Brad's color return to normal as he adjusted to the position.

Brad stood still for 5 minutes before his knees started to buckle in fatigue. Alex and Caleb sat him back into his chair.  Brad had sweat running down his face but he was smiling. Caleb grinned, "Good job Brad."

"Tthanks." Brad panted.

"Is there anything like this that we can do with him in his room?" Nate inquired.

"Well if he feels comfortable enough you can start doing standing transfers with him. I know you can keep a hold of him even if he loses his balance." Caleb started, "I'm going to give you some stretches and small exercises that you can safely work with him on outside of the pt appointments, but we'll cover those in the next phase of the evaluation."

Nate nodded and continued to focus on everything they were doing with Brad, starting to make a mental picture of what his therapy would look like.  Ray and Walt smiled at Nate, encouraged at how well Brad was doing so far.

They moved him over to the mat on the floor. Nate picked him up and laid him down.  Caleb had Brad positioned on his back, "Ok Brad I want to see if you can roll over on your own." He paused looking at everyone, "This is important, we need to know he can get off his back if he needed to so he can protect his own airway.  This is a very important thing especially as they move toward the removal of the tracheotomy tube."

Nate commented, "He spent all day and night off the ventilator yesterday, and he's been maintaining his sats so far today."

"That's great news, and makes this activity even more important, because if he can do this we can start talking about reducing the size of his trache tube." Caleb responded.

Brad smiled before starting to roll on his side. He was very weak but got his shoulders turned and then got his hips and legs to follow. "Good job Brad can you roll back again onto your back?" Caleb coaxed.

Brad slowly rolled back again repeating the same process.

"Great, now I want to see you try to roll onto your stomach." Caleb stated.

Brad fought to get back on his side and then slowly moved onto his stomach putting his left arm down to keep from face planting into the mat. He angled his head back so he could see Caleb and Nate easier.

"Wonderful Brad. Can you lay your hands flat on the mat like you're going to do a push up?" Caleb asked.

Brad lay his hands on the mat as Caleb looked at Nate, "Can you go on his other side? We are going to help him get up on his hands and knees.  This is going to help me see how strong, his core, arms and legs are, as well as seeing what his balance looks like."

Nate moved to Brad's right side as Caleb requested. Nate's arms went under his chest as Caleb gripped his hips and instructed Brad to try and push up on his hands and knees as Nate and Caleb helped steady him and position him.  Brad was shaking with exertion but he tried to hold steady picking his head up to look at Ray and Walt who were grinning like fools as they commented to Alex about how well Brad seemed to be doing with all of this.  When it was all said and done, Caleb walked Nate, Ray, and Walt  through his stretches, how to do them and when to do them.  He also walked them through how to do a standing transfer, as well as encouraging Brad to spend more time without the brace on his wrist and forcing him to reach with his left arm to remind his brain that it's there and it works. Brad was half asleep by the time they got him situated back in his wheelchair. 

Over the next few hours they went through his speech therapy evaluation which included a thorough evaluation of his reading and writing comprehension as well as speaking. Continuing onto his occupational therapy evaluation which started evaluating his ability to do activities of daily living such as writing, grabbing things, feeding himself...  By the time 1130 rolled around and they were finished, Brad was exhausted, sleeping in his chair on the way back to his room.  Nate got him settled in bed upon their arrival since it looked like Brad was going to be sleeping for quite a while and they had no where else they needed to be.

They gave him a tube feeding as he was still out cold when it was time for lunch. Brad started to stir around 1530 having slept hard for 4 hours.  Nate had stepped out with Ray to get them all something to eat including a snack for Brad.  Walt was there when he startled awake, Brad grabbing his hand as he struggled to get his breathing under control.

"Shh, it's ok Brad. You're safe." Walt spoke calmly as he stroked Brad's hair. 

Brad was shivering so Walt climbed up next to him on the bed pulling Brad close and wrapping the blanket around him a little tighter. Brad was cuddled into Walt's side as Walt rubbed his back whispering soothing words as Brad began to relax against him. Walt kissed the top of his head, "Hey are you ok?"

Brad nodded, "just a bad ddream."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Walt asked quietly.

Brad's shook his head no.

Nate and Ray got back with food, settling the table in front of Brad and Walt along with a sandwich for Walt and a smoothie for Brad. Ray and Nate situated themselves and everyone set to work eating.  After they were all done eating Nate smiled at Brad, "do you want to go out for a walk around the grounds again?"

Brad grinned, "yeah, let's go outside."

Ray grabbed Brad's jacket while Walt helped him sit up on the edge of the bed.  Nate looked at Brad curiously, "Do you want to try a standing transfer into your chair rather than me just picking you up and moving you?"

Brad smiled a small tentative smile, "Ccan we ttry it?"

Nate kissed him softly, "Yes Caleb wanted us to try it whenever you felt up to it."

Ray held the chair still while Nate helped Brad to stand and Walt helped to steady him from behind. Slowly Nate helped guide Brad into his chair.  Brad sat still with his eyes closed as Nate buckled him in and draped a blanket over his lap.  He stroked Brad's cheek, "You did great do you feel ok?"

"Mm fine, jus dizzy." Brad mumbled. "Why ddoes tthis keep hhappening?"

Nate ran his fingers through Brad's hair, "you've been laying down for so long position changes make your blood pressure drop a little which is why you get dizzy, this should stop as we get you up and moving more."  Nate kissed the top of Brad's head, "Just give it time Love."

Brad sighed and opened his eyes, "Ready to go."

They walked outside together Brad obviously enjoying the sun and the heat, and just seeming to be happy to be outside of the hospital.  They stopped at a bench and parked Brad's wheelchair for a while and just enjoyed each others company. 

Their parents came by after dinner again to check and see how everyone was doing. Anna and Mary decided it was time to break out the mom card. "Ok everyone, tomorrow things are going to go a little differently." Anna started causing Brad, Nate, Ray and Walt to turn their attention to her.  "You three have not been home since Brad got really sick and tomorrow that is going to change."

Brad tensed, and Nate's gaze sharpened, "What do you mean that's changing?  We have a care meeting with his doctor and Brad truly starts his new therapy schedule tomorrow."

Anna smiled, "Nate, you, Ray and Walt have been here 24/7 for 5 weeks you need a break.  A day off if you will, we will be here for Brad's therapy schedule and everything he needs for tomorrow."

Mary continued, "You three will go to the care conference and deal with all of that while we take care of everything with Brad.  Once the conference is finished we would like the three of you to go home and get some actual rest.  We don't want you back here until the following morning.  You can be back in time for the start of his therapies if you wish but not before."

Nate, Ray and Walt looked mutinous. Brad just looked unsure and curious about how they would react.

Nate took a steadying breath, "I don't really want to leave him if I don't have to."

Mary arched an eyebrow at her son, "Nathaniel I love you dearly but you all need rest. We can take care of things for tomorrow.  Brad will be fine.  You can call and check in every few hours if you wish, but I don't want to see you in this hospital until the following day, period."

Nate looked ready to argue until Brad looked at the three of them.  They all froze as Brad truly studied them frowning slightly in concentration, "It's ok.  You can go home ttomorrow.  I wwill be ok." Brad stated.

They all looked a little shocked, as Brad continued. "You nnneed a bbreak.  Llook tired."

Nate wanted to protest but Ray and Walt stopped him with a hand on his arm.  Nate's shoulders slumped as he looked at Brad, "Are you sure you want us to leave for the whole day?"

Brad smiled, "Nnno, but you nneed to." Brad sighed, "I want you here bbut I wwant you rrested more.  The moms and ddads can stay with mme and I'll call you bbefore bed."

Nate sighed, "Ok, you all win, we'll go home tomorrow after the meeting, but I will be checking in regularly."

Brad smiled and squeezed Nate's hand, "I llove you Nate.  I don't wwant you to get sick."

Nate kissed him, "I love you too Brad and I'll do anything to keep you from worrying."

Everyone hung around for a little while longer working out the schedule and looking over the therapy schedule making plans for the next day.  After everyone left they worked on getting Brad cleaned up and ready for bed.  They all lay down Nate and Brad on Brad's bed, Ray and Walt on the rollaway bed.  Sleep was a long time coming and none of them slept very well all worried about the day to come and the temporary separation.  No one wanted to miss anything, but everyone accepted that the day off was needed, to plan for future needs and changes if nothing else.

Brad lay awake watching Nate most of the night only starting to drift off after 0130. Nate, Ray and Walt lay awake listening to Brad move around attempting to get comfortable, all of the lost in the thoughts of things to come.

 


	13. Overwhelmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Care meetings, a trip home for a break and the overwhelming reality of what going home with Brad could mean. Nate has a small crisis of faith while Ray and Walt remind him that he and Brad are not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a head's up this chapter has a little more poly activity to it toward the end so if you aren't comfortable with it consider yourself warned. Also this is another chapter that has a lot of information. I'm hoping to be able to update again sometime this week but things are a little crazy here so I promise nothing. Hope everyone is well. Thanks for reading.

 

Chapter 13:  Overwhelmed

Nate woke first to Brad sleeping with his head on Nate's shoulder and his arm wrapped around Nate's waist.  Nate ran his fingers through Brad's hair savoring the quiet, and the weight of Brad's body against his. He listened to the quiet sound of Ray and Walt breathing, deep and slow, obviously asleep, also feeling the air push out through Brad's trache brushing against his chest.  Nate was struck by the fact that it didn't seem odd to feel his breath coming from the tube more so than his mouth, and while he's excited at the prospect of the tube going away, here in the quiet he can admit, if only to himself that the closer they move towards going home the less sure he is of his ability to give Brad everything he needs on his own without help.  Eventually everyone will go back to their lives and it will just be the two of them and Nate is terrified of failing Brad when he needs him most.

"Nate, you're thinking tto loud.  Ssleep." Brad whispered as he patted Nate's chest.

Nate smiled and kissed the top of Brad's head. "Sorry Love just distracted.  Go back to sleep."

Brad sighed, "You ttoo, Nate."

Nate shifted slightly and forced himself to relax, "Ok Brad, I'll try to sleep some more."

He wrapped his arm tighter around Brad's back and closed his eyes, willing sleep to come again as there was still a few hours before they needed to get up for the day.

....

Nate got up silently, kissing Brad gently as he started the familiar morning routine only now adding the stretches to it.  Brad almost purred with relief at the way the stretching helped to loosen him up and made moving easier.  Ray and Walt got up and picked new clothes for Brad bringing them over. Ray started working on the opposite side from Nate as Walt took over his trache care.  Brad relaxed into their care smiling, content to let them help him to feel better.  All their touches conveying how much they loved him and wanted him.  He tried to show them how much this meant to him with smiles and touches of his own. 

Once finished they went to work getting Brad dressed, again allowing him to sit on the side of his bed before doing another standing transfer and getting his breakfast tray set up in front of him.  Brad smiled at the absence of oatmeal and the addition of scrambled eggs.  They looked up as there was a knock on the door and smiled as Brad's mom Anna and Nate's dad John came in.  They all grinned and wished them good morning.  Anna gave Brad a kiss and the other men hugs.  She pulled Nate off to the side to go over Brad's therapy schedule for the day.  

Nate smiled, "He's got a pretty full schedule.  His therapy wears him out, so don't be shocked if he sleeps through lunch." Nate paused, "Yesterday we had to do a tube feed because he wouldn't wake up to eat.  It's not a big deal if he does this again. We made sure he got a snack once he woke up."

Anna nodded, "Did you all sleep ok last night?"

Nate shook his head, "Not really.  I think we're all a little nervous about being apart."

Anna hugged Nate, "Sweetie this isn't a punishment for any of you.  This is important for you all.  You need a break to rest.  I know it's scary to be away especially after everything we've all been through with this, but you need a moment to step back and process this." She pulled Nate down and kissed his forehead, "Nate, it will be ok. We've got him.  You'll be back before you know it and I'm willing to bet you will feel better for it."

Nate nodded into her shoulder, "I don't like being away.  It makes me nervous.  I feel like I'm going to miss something important." Nate sighed, "What if he needs us and we're not there?"

Anna chuckled, "Nate if he truly needs you we'll call and you'll come back. Take this time while everything is going well and let yourself relax, process and figure out what's next."

Nate squeezed her tighter, "I know we need this but it doesn't make it easy."

Dr. Michaels came in and checked on Brad before collecting Nate, Ray, and Walt for their meeting. 

They said their goodbyes, promising to call and check in later.

....

Once they were settled in the conference room Dr. Michaels smiled at them all. "How are you all doing today?"

"Stressed at going home for the day." Ray answered.

"Tired, and nervous." Walt replied.

"Disjointed at the thought of leaving, but I'm happy with how well he seems to be doing." Nate stated.

Dr. Michaels sighed, "I'm glad you are all going to be taking a break today.  It's really the perfect time for it.  He's just getting started with serious rehab so you won't miss much and you will be able to be here when he really wants you here."  He paused, "He's doing so much better than we ever hoped for."

Nate, Ray and Walt smiled at that. "So what's the word on all of the tests he's been having?" Nate inquired.

Dr. Michaels nodded, "Let's start with the speech therapist's evaluation.  He is struggling with a little stuttering and a slight bit of aphasia as he will occasionally drop a word or use the wrong word.  His writing is shaky but he knows and understands what he's writing which is fantastic.  This will improve as he progresses with therapy and as he rebuilds his muscle mass and improves his fine motor control. I'm pleased to say that his comprehension is completely intact, and it just seems to be vocal expression that he's having minor difficulty with."

Ray asked, "Is there anything we can do to help him progress with his speech?"

"Well I've already seen improvement as he forces himself to speak more.  The best thing you can do is keep encouraging him to speak, if he's ok with it, encourage him to read out loud to you."  Dr. Michaels responded.

"Next is the Occupational therapist's evaluation.  They were impressed with how motivated he is to do things for himself.  He's obviously still very weak, and shaky which is to be expected but he's motivated and keeps fighting to get back his independence." Dr. Michaels paused, "You are all doing a great job of  listening to him and letting him try to do more things for himself even when you aren't sure he'll be able to do it.  Keep doing that. He's responding very well to it. The therapists want him to keep doing as many of the activities as he can alone as well as assisted."

"The last area we're looking at is his Physical Therapy evaluation.  He's handled this process very well and although he's lost a lot of muscle mass he's still able to do more than we expected.  We also are pleased with how quickly he's rebuilding some of his strength and control.  We are planning on switching him to a new headrest for his chair this one will just be the normal headrest people are used to seeing with no side supports.  His head control has gotten to the point where it is safe to make this change." Dr Michaels paused to make sure they had no questions. "As you've seen when we start getting him up into standing positions that he's having some issues with position changes this will improve as he does them more frequently and is getting up and moving more."

"That being said, there is still a lot of work to be done.  His  balance, muscle spasticity and strength seem to be his biggest challenges at this point.  He's highly motivated  so that is definitely a huge thing in his favor.  This is going to be a long, ongoing process and I can't tell you definitively where he will peak, and what his end result will be." Dr. Michaels finished.

Nate nodded thoughtfully, "Is there a possibility that he won't be able to go back to his life in the military?"

"Well it's too soon to tell where everything is going to end up but there is a chance that he will have to medically retire." Dr. Michaels paused, "We have to be realistic, he is still on anti seizure medications and we haven't started to adjust medication levels to see if he will continue to require them.  There is a chance that he will need these medications for the rest of his life to prevent seizures, if that is the case you know a medical discharge is likely."

They all nodded their acceptance. "When do you think medications will be getting adjusted?" Walt asked.

"I want to get him adjusted to his therapy routine this week and starting next week we will begin weaning him from medications and see what he will ultimately need.  Also with how well he's doing without the ventilator support we are going to start reducing the size of his trache tube with the intent of removal as soon as next week." Dr. Michaels paused to see if anymore questions were coming. "One of the things, both Caleb and I are concerned with is possible ear damage causing some of his balance issues, so I would like to schedule a few tests tomorrow to check his hearing as well as evaluating his inner ear for any possible damage it could be contributing to his sense of vertigo. We'll be doing the testing in the afternoon after his therapy."

Nate looked a little concerned, "You think there's a chance he's going deaf?"

"There could be some damage, Nate, due to the cause of his injuries.  He doesn't seem to have severe hearing loss if any but my main concern is that there could be damage to the inner ear, which is important for balance. If there is damage to this part of his ear it means we will have to work harder for balance and there is the possibility of long term vertigo issues for him.  The sooner we know the sooner we can make a plan to help him overcome it." Dr Michaels explained.

Nate nodded, "How long do you think it will be before he's able to go home?"

"Ok, we are looking at months of inpatient therapy and rehabilitation.  That being said as soon as his trache is gone and he's a little more stable we could start discussing a day pass home with as close as you live to the hospital. If the day passes go well we could start looking at a weekend pass." Dr. Michaels paused, "He could still be wheelchair bound when these opportunities come along.  So I took the liberty of putting together some suggestions you may need to take into consideration before he gets to go home for a visit.  We have a number of people that are involved in the transition process and they are here to assist you with anything you may need to make things as easy as possible."

Nate looked briefly at the packet of papers, "Thank you for this, it will help with planning."

"Well I have some very good news. Brad has started to gain a little weight with the change in his formula as well as his ability to begin eating. He's put on 5 pounds in the last week since this change.  Also with as well as he's handling the liquid, semi-solid and soft food diet he's currently on I would like to start introducing more complex foods going forward.  The main goal is to keep him from back sliding with his weight.  As long as he's able to chew and swallow accordingly without aspirating anything I want to lower his restrictions and continue to reintroduce foods to his diet." Dr. Michaels continued, "At this point overall we are all very pleased with where Brad is at and are truly blown away at his progress in such a short time.  I want you to take the next few days to process all the information We've discussed and to observe and see if you agree with us and the progression that we are going to take.  If you have any questions at any time don't hesitate to ask but I do want to meet with you all again on Friday to touch base and make sure that all of your questions and concerns are answered and addressed."

Nate, Ray, and Walt each thanked Dr. Michaels and decided to head home. Nate sent a text to Anna and his mom to let them know that the meeting went well and they were heading home.

....

Nate was quiet as Ray drove them home, looking out the window lost in thought. They got out of the car and watched Nate stop in the front yard just looking at the house.  Anyone who didn't know Nate wouldn't have noticed any difference, but Ray and Walt weren't just anyone, they knew he was overwhelmed and unsure of what to do.  One look at his eyes and they both knew he was drowning in doubt.  

Walt put a hand on Nate's back, "Come on Nate let's go in we need to get something to eat."

Nate gripped Walt's hand as he allowed himself to be led into the house.  Ray was inside making sandwiches and rounding up chips and drinks, thankful Nate's parents had brought groceries the night before.  Nate sat at the table in front of the food that Ray placed there for him.  He mindlessly started to eat as he read through the information that Dr. Michaels had given him.  Ray and Walt exchanged concerned looks over Nate's bent head silently working out how to get Nate to engage and get out of his head.

Once they'd finished eating Nate started to pace around the house looking at everything getting more tense and distressed.  Walt walked up to Nate and wrapped him in his arms. "Nate stop. Talk to us. What is going through your head?"

Nate sucked in a breath as he clung to Walt and shook. "Hey, hey Nate it's going to be ok." Walt murmured against Nate's neck as he stroked his hair. 

Ray wrapped them up in his arms from behind so Nate was safely supported between both of them, "It's ok Nate, you don't have to do this alone."

"Everyone will go back to their lives eventually. What if he needs more than I can give? What happens if I fail him?" Nate moaned into Walt's neck.

Ray ran his fingers through Nate's hair.  "Nate, you have never let him down. You have never failed him." Ray kissed the back of his neck, "You have been his rock during this. You've cleaned wounds, changed catheters, changed diapers, fed him, bathed him, held him when he was hurting.  You have never flinched at anything he needed from you."

Walt tilted his head and kissed Nate softly, "Nate when we said we'd be here as long as you needed us we meant it.  We are completely prepared to move here with you if you wanted us to."

Nate lifted his head, eyes widened, "We couldn't ask you to permanently upend your lives."

Walt laughed against Nate's shoulder, "Nate, you and Brad have a room in your house that is ours. We've always made space in our lives for each other, this would just be a little more permanent. I could help you take care of Brad so it wouldn't keep you from work, I'm almost done with school." Walt kissed him again, "Ray can work from anywhere. We've already boxed up most of our apartment, it wouldn't take anything to move up here full-time.  If you want us..." Walt trailed off.

Nate buried his face against Walt's neck, "You'd really do that for us?"

Ray nipped at the back of Nate's neck, "LT there isn't anything we wouldn't do for the two of you.  Also wouldn't it be nice to be together more?  We've always talked about doing this and what better reason to follow through than we just plain need each other, and truly want to be here together."

Nate smiled shakily, "I don't know what we'd do without you both." He paused, "I don't know how we're going to make this house work for Brad especially if he needs the wheelchair for an undetermined period of time.  I want this to be a safe place for him and I'm not sure how to make that work." 

Walt grinned, "Nate I'm not very worried about that. Lets take a walk around the house starting outside. I've got a lot of construction experience you know.  We can make this work for all of us."

Ray wrapped an arm around Nate's waist as Walt led them outside after grabbing a tape measure out of the tool box in the closet.

They looked at the sidewalk and steps leading into the house.  "Ok there's no curbs or anything to worry about. I can easily build a ramp to get him  up the steps and into the house." Walt started explaining as he paused to measure the doorway. "This is definitely wide enough for the chair to get through no problem at all. Let's go inside."  

Walt walked around the living room measuring the distance of the doorways, the space between the coffee table and couches and chairs, the height of the tv from the floor to the on button. "Ok we might need to spread out the furniture a little but there is plenty of space. We might want to get rid of the coffee table and get an end table or two instead to give a better turning radius for Brad."

They moved onto the kitchen where Walt again started making measurements and taking notes checking distances and heights of the counters, tables, appliances, and finally the island. "Alright if we move the table this way it should give Brad enough turning room and there is plenty of space between the appliances and cabinets."

Walt moved them out to the hallway where he took more measurements and headed for the bathroom.  "Ok in here we need a shower chair for Brad and safety bars for the toilet and the bathtub.  I could lower the sink a little but he's pretty tall so until I get his measurements in the chair I won't know if we need to."

They moved on to Nate and Brad's room as well as the master bathroom, as Walt continued to observe and measure, "Ok Nate if we move the dresser to this corner it opens up everything so he could turn around anywhere in this room with no problem.  The doors are wide enough to get his chair in and out with no assistance, however I'm thinking we should consider doing either a pocket door or a folding door on the bathroom so we can slide the door out of the way without it causing problems by taking up space in either room." Nate smiled at Walt as he continued, "We're going to need a shower chair, safety bars on both the tub, shower, and toilet area. I could take the center part of the cabinet out so Brad can roll under the sink to make using it easier."

Ray led Nate to the bed and sat him down, "how much time do you think we'll need to make the modifications?"

Walt sat next to Nate and wrapped an arm around him, "It would take me about two weeks to do this by myself, if I had help we could do this in a few days. We could call Poke and Mike and they could totally help me knock this out in a weekend."

Nate looked at Walt, "If they want to come help I won't stop them. Any help we can get to make this safe for him I'll take." The cautious optimism was back in Nate's voice. It wasn't the command strength they all had come to rely on, but it was a start.

....

They crashed together in Nate and Brad's room with Nate tucked securely between Walt and Ray. Ray woke first and quietly called their landlord to get the information needed to terminate their lease as he stayed curled protectively around Nate. Walt grinned as he saw what Ray was doing and proceeded to do a conference call with Poke and Mike. 

"What's up Dog?" "Hey Walt." Poke and Mike greeted Walt respectively.

"Hey guys I've got some questions to ask." Walt started warily.

Mike smiled, "What do ya need Pup? How's things going with Nate and Brad?"

Walt sighed, "We're holding on. Brad's started therapy but there's a lot of work to be done... " Walt trailed off before giving them a run down of the way things were going at the moment. "Ok now that you know what we're looking at I wanted to know if you guys could fly in for a weekend and give me a hand at Nate and Brad's place to do the modifications they're going to need before we can bring Brad home."

Nate sleepily listened to the two men co-ordinate everything while he snuggled drowsily between them, petting Ray's hip as he nuzzled Walt's chest. Walt ran a gentle hand over Nate's head as he finalized plans with Mike and Poke. They would be flying in in two weeks.

Walt hung up and kissed Nate gently, waiting to see how Nate would react.  Nate surged forward licking questioningly at Walt's lips. Walt opened his mouth kissing Nate deeply as Ray hung up and started kissing, nipping, and licking at Nate's neck and shoulder. Nate pushed back against Ray as he pulled Walt closer needing their touch and comfort. Walt kissed Nate breathless before dropping down to nip at his neck before moving lower to Nate's nipples where he began to lick and suck, while Ray deftly rubbed his hand against the bulge in Nate's boxers.  Nate whined and pushed against Ray's hand as he drug blunt nails down Walt's back.

Ray slowly pulled Nate free from his boxers and whispered, "Relax Nate let us take care of you." He kissed the side of Nate's neck and slowly started to jack Nate's cock at an agonizingly slow pace pulling a mewling sound from Nate's mouth.  Walt laved and suckled Nate's sensitive nipples as Ray slowly picked up the pace and friction driving Nate to the edge of release. Walt nipped as Ray squeezed, Nate's release exploded in a hot streaks of cum across his stomach as he cried out hoarsely.

Nate collapsed in a boneless heap with tears sliding silently down his cheeks. Walt gently wiped his tears away as he kissed him softly, "It's ok Nate."

Ray and Walt drew Nate closer providing physical support as Nate began to cry out his frustration and fear.

Almost immediately Nate began to feel upset for Brad not being able to be there.  They had all been together without one of their foursome being there before but Nate felt Brad's absence at this time acutely.  Wishing that he could be there with them.

Ray stroked Nate's hair, "Love don't be upset or feel guilty.  He ordered us to take care of you, not that he had to. We want to help." Ray kissed him softly, "We know you needed this. He knew you needed this and he couldn't do it for you so that's where we come in."

"It's not us doing this that makes me sad or guilty, I just miss him and wish he was here with us." Nate leaned his head against Walt's chest, "FUCK!! I just want him home.  I just want us all together safe and happy."

Walt kissed the top of his head, "We're getting there Nate. Slowly but surely we're getting there."

... 

 Brad called later that night with the help of the parents.  He told them about his day, and the new things he got to do and eat that day. He asked if they got Nate to relax with a very loaded implication. 

Ray laughed, "You know we took care of him Brad."

They could hear Brad's smile as he gave a very satisfied, "Good, I'm glad."

They talked for a little while until Brad started to sound tired. "I mmiss you ggguys.  Can't wwait until ttomorrow."

"We miss you too Love."  Nate replied voice thick with feeling.

"I llove you all vvery mmuch."Brad stuttered voice thick with fatigue.

"We love you too Brad, sleep well Love." They all responded.

"Nnight." Brad whispered as he drifted off.

Nate's mom took the phone from Brad as she tucked him in. "Hey boys he's asleep. I just wanted you to know everything has been fine. He did get his new headrest today and they reduced his trache today." She paused, "He did great with eating today although he did sleep through lunch again.  Has today been good for you? Have you guys gotten any rest."

"Today's been good Mom thanks for forcing us to do this." Nate smiled, "We're actually getting ready to go to bed.  We'll be back first thing tomorrow and we'll talk to you guys about the meeting.  Just know overall the news was really positive." Nate paused, "Good-night mom, I love you. Give him our love."

"Good-night baby, I love you too. I will. See you guys tomorrow." Mary replied.

 


	14. One Step Forward One Step Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brad has a small set back due to a reaction to a new medication.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been awhile since I updated work has been insane and taking up any hope of free time. This chapter is going to be a little shorter but I am hoping to get another much longer chapter and possibly a new one shot done soon. Hope everyone had a safe Memorial Day.

Chapter 14: One Step Forward One Step Back

Nate, Ray, and Walt quietly entered Brad's room hoping not to wake him up. They smiled at Anna watching Brad sleep holding his mom's hand. She smiled at them while she watched Brad sleep.

"How'd it go last night?" Nate whispered.

"He slept well at first but then got pretty restless as the night progressed. They gave him meds to help him relax around 0130." Anna paused, " we were all pretty sure he just missed you guys but he wouldn't let us call you to come back either."

Nate looked at Brad slightly concerned. "We would've come back in a heartbeat if you'd called."

Anna smiled softly but it was Brad who whispered, "I missed you a lot, bbut I had to know I could ddo it."

Brad blinked open sleepy blue eyes as he reached for Nate. "I llove you  and you guys nneeded to rest ttoo."

Nate kissed Brad's forehead, "we missed you too Love."

Brad smiled and closed his eyes drifting back to sleep.

Anna and Nate talked about the day's schedule and how the care meeting went before Anna hugged and kissed Nate and Brad. She paused and hugged Ray and Walt before heading for home.

Once Anna left they went to work getting Brad ready for the day.  Brad slept through the stretches and trache care only waking as they sat him up and started to get him dressed.  Brad was still really groggy which meant they were doing more of the work. Nate made the decision to carry Brad rather than fight with the standing transfer.  Once Brad was settled in his wheelchair he nodded off again while they waited for his breakfast to come. Walt rocked the chair back a little so it was easier for Brad to rest and keep his head back on the headrest.

Walt ran his fingers through Brad's hair, "I don't know if I like how tired he is with the meds they gave him, this is going to make it harder for him in therapy today."

Nate nodded, "I'm going to ask what they gave him and see if we can either avoid this in the future or use less medication.  He's still really out of it."

The door opened and they brought in Brad's breakfast. Nate smiled as he sat Brad's chair back upright and moved the tray in front of him so he could eat. Brad opened his eyes reluctantly and it was obvious he was struggling to focus on anything. 

Nate stroked Brad's cheek to get his attention, "hey do you want me to help you eat?"

Brad turned confused, slightly out of focused eyes to Nate and nodded his consent.

Nate looked slightly concerned with the easy acquiescence. "Brad are you feeling ok?"

Brad blinked slowly, "yyes, jus sleepy."

Ray snorted, "shit, he's stoned."

Nate nodded as he started to feed Brad his breakfast, starting with the applesauce as it was the easiest to swallow.  Brad finished half his breakfast before he kept nodding off to a point Nate was worried he'd choke if they continued.

Walt sighed, "well we need to head toward his first therapy appointment. It's looking like speech therapy is first today."

Ray looked at Brad, "yeah this is going to be productive.  He can't even stay awake long enough to put two words together or eat."

Nate let out a slow breath, "well we're going to give it a try and if this doesn't get any better we'll talk to Dr. Michaels and see if it would be better to skip therapy and let him sleep this off."

....

After Brad slept through his whole speech therapy session Nate asked to have Dr. Michaels paged to discuss their options.

Dr. Michaels evaluated Brad, and agreed that he wasn't reacting well to the Ativan and also agreed that letting him sleep it off was going to be the best course of action.  They decided to use his g-tube for his meals as long as he was so heavily under the influence of the medication.

Once they got back to Brad's room and settled him back in bed they decided to continue to work on construction plans, as well as their actual jobs while Brad slept on oblivious to everything.

Hours later, Walt checked on Brad while Nate and Ray went to get food for everyone. Walt gently stroked Brad's cheek and Brad's eyes slit open revealing a sliver of blue as he reached for Walt's hand. Walt smiled, "hey Love are you feeling any better?"

Brad shifted, and opened his eyes sleepily, "yes, a little less sleepy." Brad struggled to try and sit up, obviously still not coherent. It seemed like he didn't remember he was in a hospital bed.

Walt put a hand on Brad's shoulders to keep him from hurting himself or falling. "Hey, if you want to sit up let's get the head of the bed up first and then you can sit up easier."

Brad was dozing off again as Walt elevated the head of the bed. _This medication can't wear off fast enough._ Walt thought to himself.

Nate and Ray came back with dinner and noticed Walt's nervousness.

Nate wrapped an arm around Walt's waist, "what's wrong Puppy?"

Walt sighed, "he woke up a little bit ago and was disoriented, trying to get up. I hate seeing him so confused and out of it."

Nate squeezed him and kissed him, "I don't like it either but it will pass. They are keeping a close eye on things and we just have to ride it out." Nate took a deep breath, " we're going to have to make sure he's not alone especially if he's trying to get up.  We've been through worse with him than this."

Walt rested his head against Nate's shoulder, "I know, but this fucking sucks."

Brad let out a hoarse whine and thrashed on his bed hitting his right arm hard against the rail. Ray grabbed his arm and held it down, "BRAD!" Ray snapped, "wake up. Dude, you're safe."

Walt grabbed his other arm while Nate started to talk right in Brad's ear, "Hey Love, shh, shh. It's ok, open your eyes."

Brad's eyes snapped open panting frantically. Nate stroked his hair, "Brad look at me.  Breathe with me babe."

Brad pulled against Ray and Walt's grasp letting out a low whine. They loosened their grip and moved to hold his hands so it seemed less restrictive and more comforting. Brad's eyes locked on Nate's as he struggled to calm down and match his breathing. Nate kept stroking Brad's hair, "that's better Love. You with us?"

Brad blinked slowly looking around.

"Master Sergeant, are you with us? How copy Brad?" Nate stated firmly.

"Solid ccopy. Mm with you Nnate." Brad slurred.

Ray was carefully holding Brad's right arm, "Brad can you squeeze my hand?"

Brad squeezed but hissed softly.

Nate looked at Brad's arm noting the bruise that was forming where his arm impacted with the rail, "Brad how bad does it hurt?"

Brad blinked slowly, "n-not too bad. Just aches."

Nate hit the call button and was a little surprised with how quickly the nurse came in.

He smiled, "hi Katie, Brad woke up very disoriented and he hit his arm pretty hard on the rail of his bed.  It's starting to bruise already, could we get some ice for it?"

Katie came over and started to check Brad's vitals and then proceeded to look at his forearm. "Hey Brad, can you squeeze my fingers for me?"

Brad squeezed but winced and hissed again. She nodded as she gently started to flex, and rotate his wrist. Brad flinched slightly. "Brad on a scale from 1-10, 1 being almost nothing and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt how does this feel?"

Brad flexed his wrist a little, "tthree maybe four."

Nate arched an eyebrow at Brad. "Brad are you sure?"

Brad paused, "feels llike a charley horse."

"Alright gents I'm going to get ice, but I'm also going to talk to his doctor and make sure we don't need to get an x-ray done." Katie stated.

Ray offered, "I'll come with you and bring the ice back if you'd like."

Katie smiled, "sure Ray, that would be great."

...

Two hours and one x-ray later Brad was settled back in his room curled up against Nate sleeping soundly but finally seeming to be less drugged.

Nate carefully held the new ice pack in place as Brad slept. "Well we lucked out there, at least it's just a bad bruise and not broken."

Ray chuckled. "Thank fuck, we dodged a bullet for a change.  Here's to hoping He's feeling better tomorrow and we can have a better day."

Nate and Walt both smiled, "here's to hoping." Walt stated as Nate suggested, "we should all try to get some sleep while he's out."

They settled down enjoying being together again as they waited for Nate to finish icing Brad's arm.  Sleep came easier than the night before despite the stress of the day.  Brad finally seemed to be over the worst of his side effects from the Ativan which left them hopeful for a more productive day tomorrow.


	15. Finding Balance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big moves, and big changes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a happy chapter. I'm hoping to get another chapter or at least a one shot up before my weekend is over. It will just depend on how crazy things go on my end. Hope you all enjoy.

Chapter 15: Finding Balance

Nate smiled as he started getting ready for the day, watching as Brad slept on peacefully. Today was the first time it was just going to be Nate and Brad since Ray and Walt had headed back to Virginia the night before so they could finish tying up loose ends and finish moving their things up to Brad and Nate's Maryland house.  They were hoping to finish the move before Mike and Tony got in to help complete the remodel on the house.  

Brad was doing very well in the two weeks since his set back with the Ativan. He'd been putting on weight and no longer had any dietary restrictions but they still used his feeding tube at night and for some of his medications.  Nate and Brad were excited about the prospect of the trache going away this afternoon after Brad's therapy sessions, as well as the continued weaning off of the anticonvulsant medications.

Nate kissed Brad gently, "hey, it's time to get up."

Brad opened his eyes and smiling kissed Nate back. "Good morning."

Nate helped him sit up and watched as he balanced on the side of his bed. Brad smiled as Nate reached for the shirt and gave gave it to him. Brad was getting stronger and only needed help getting his pants up, and getting his afo's and shoes on.  The standing transfers were going well and he was getting better with balancing as he was standing with support. Brad grinned as Nate settled him in the wheelchair buckling the lap belt, his core strength had improved to the point where he no longer needed the shoulder straps.  Brad grinned as he pulled Nate closer for a kiss. "I love you." Brad rested his forehead against Nate's. 

Nate grinned, "I love you too. Always."

Nate moved the breakfast tray in front of Brad so he could eat while Nate sat across from him and ate his own breakfast.  "You ready for PT today?"

Brad grinned, "yes, I can't wait to try walking today."

Nate laughed, "I can't wait either.  Ray and Walt made me promise to record it so they can see it when they get back tonight."

Brad smiled, "I guess wwe can record it."

....

Half way through Brad's physical therapy appointment Caleb and Alex moved him over to the parallel bars.  After putting on the gait belt Caleb made sure Brad had a good grip on the bars before he and Alex got Brad into a standing position. Caleb was in front of him on a rolling stool as Alex helped stabilize him from behind with the belt. Nate was standing in front so he could record Brad's first steps for Ray, Walt and the parents to see.

Nate and Caleb were still blown away at how dramatically Brad had improved being on the lowest dose possible of the strongest anticonvulsant he was on.  The other two anticonvulsants haven't been adjusted yet but they wanted the strongest one removed before starting in on the other medications.  He was less shaky, his balance and coordination were improved and his tolerance for position changes was almost back to normal. He was even more alert with much clearer speech. 

"Hey Brad ready to try a step?" Caleb inquired.

Brad grinned while he gripped the bars tighter, "yes."

Brad bent his right knee and stepped forward with his right foot.  He adjusted his grip on the bars as Alex kept a firm grip on the gait belt. Brad started to try and bend his left knee and slid his left foot forward.  Nate was grinning like a mad man with tears of joy sliding silently down his cheeks.  Brad looked up with a face splitting grin before refocusing on his legs and taking another step.  When all was said and done he'd walked down and back along the parallel bars before they settled him back in his wheelchair.  Brad reached for Nate hugging him hard as they laughed.

Caleb grinned at the two men watching them celebrate the huge victory for Brad. He knows they still have a long way to go before Brad will be walking on his own, but he couldn't help being awestruck at everything they overcame just to have this moment and these few steps. "Great work Brad." Caleb stated proudly.

Brad looked at Caleb, "thanks. I want to go again."

Caleb smiled, "Sorry man we need to get you stretched out and on your way to your next appointment."

Brad sighed, "Ok."

They got Brad stretched out and settled back in his chair before going off to the next round of therapy appointments.

....

When they returned to Brad's room for a change he didn't feel the need to sleep immediately.  Brad smiled at Nate, "I'm hungry."

Nate grinned back, "Not tired?"

"No, I'm hungry Nate." Brad answered.

The door opened with Brad's lunch. Which Brad ate like he was starving. Shortly after they finished lunch Dr. Michaels came in to remove the trache tube.

"Hello, gents. Brad I hear you have had a great day. Caleb said you did amazing in PT and your OT and speech therapist are very pleased with your progress." Dr. Michaels stated.

Brad and Nate both smiled. "It was a good day." Brad answered.

"So are you ready to lose the tracheotomy Brad?" Dr. Michaels asked with a smile.

Brad nodded, "when can it go away?"

"Well Brad if we get you in your bed and lay you down would now be too soon for you?" Dr. Michaels teased.

Brad looked at Nate who unbuckled him from his chair and proceeded to do a standing transfer to get Brad onto the bed. Brad sat up as Nate removed his shoes and afo's to help him be more comfortable.  Nate helped Brad lay down and prepare for the procedure. "So what do you need from us?" Nate inquired.

"Alright, we're going to lay his bed down flat and I'm going to suction his airway just to make sure everything is cleared out before we remove the tube.  He has been doing very well clearing his own secretions with the cap over his trache the last two days so we are confident he's ready for this step.  Once the trache tube is removed I'm going to clean the area around the stoma, which is the hole that is left behind once the tube is removed." Dr. Michaels paused, "as soon as the area is cleaned I will be using 5 pieces of tape to close the hole.  The tape will be changed daily as well as the area being cleaned.  We will be repeating this process until the stoma is closed.  This should be healed up within a week or two.  Are there any questions?"

Nate looked at Brad before asking, "Will you teach me how to tape up his neck?" 

"Definitely Nate. You've taken to so many of the other tasks so well, this one should be easy for you." Dr. Michaels answered confidently.

"Is it going to make it hard for me to talk? What if I have to cough?" Brad asked concerned.

"With the tape we're hoping to cut down on the leaking of air from the stoma, and we are also hoping it will encourage quicker healing.  That being said if you feel like you are going to cough put your fingers against the stoma to keep it from being stressed. If speaking is hard you can also do the same to see if it will help you, however, it shouldn't be needed due to the way we will be taping it closed. Also don't be surprised if for a little while your voice sounds hoarse or quieter than normal."  Dr. Michaels paused, "If you start having trouble with breathing or wheezing you need to notify us right away."

Brad nodded reaching for Nate's hand. "Any more questions?" Dr. Michaels inquired.

Brad and Nate both answered, "no, we're ready."

The bed was laid flat as Dr. Michaels moved to Brad's head. "Ok Brad on the count of three I'm going to pull the tube out. 1...2...3."

Brad squeezed Nate's hand as the tube came out.  Dr. Michaels proceeded to clean his neck carefully before looking at Nate, "Ok Nate the first strip of tape is going to start under the incision and pull up to close the hole and lay it flat. Next we are going to take these two pieces and lay them across the first piece of tape going the opposite direction. Last we are going to lay the final two pieces going the same direction as the first piece." Dr. Michaels paused, "How are you doing Brad?"

Brad answered hoarsely, "I'm good. It feels a little weird to have the tube out and the tape on my throat."

Nate stroked Brad's hair, "You did well Love."

Dr. Michaels checked Brad's vitals and his sats. "Everything looks good.  Brad I want you to rest for at least an hour before we let you get back up in your chair and let you get out and about again."

Brad nodded, energy flagging in the wake of the adrenaline rush. Brad pulled on Nate's hand, "lay with me?"

Nate climbed into bed with Brad letting him curl into Nate's side with his head resting on Nate's shoulder.  Nate kissed the top of his head, "It's ok Love, just sleep."

Dr. Michaels smiled at them, "I'll be back in an hour to see how he's doing.  Have a good nap Brad."

Nate nodded and settled in for a nap himself. 

....

The hour passed and Dr. Michaels quietly rechecked everything, as both men surprisingly slept through it. He left them a note on Brad's table letting them know everything was fine and he'd see them in the morning for follow up and to supervise Nate handling Brad's post trache care.

 Ray and Walt came in just as they were bringing in Brad's dinner.  They smiled fondly seeing Brad asleep against Nate's chest both sleeping comfortably.  Walt whispered, "we can take it in for him if you want."

They were handed Brad's dinner. Ray took it and started getting it laid out while Walt walked over to the bed and carefully touched Nate's shoulder. "Nate, wake up. Brad's dinner is here."

Nate smiled drowsily at Walt as he gently kissed the top of Brad's head and ran his hand down Brad's back. "Love wake up.  We've got company and you have dinner."

Brad groaned and buried his face in Nate's chest. Nate and Walt chuckled.  Walt scratched lightly at the short hair of Brad's neck, "hey Brad we made it back and brought you dinner."

Brad rubbed his face against Nate before turning his head to look at Walt before pushing himself up to turn over. Nate turned on his side and held Brad's shoulder to make sure he didn't fall as he got on his back.

Ray and Walt were both stunned to see Brad trache free with just a bandage where the tube used to be. "HOLY SHIT!!" Ray exclaimed, "When the heck did they take the trache tube out?!"

Brad rolled his eyes, and grinned, stating hoarsely, "Ray I know you were raised by wolves, but please use your inside voice." 

Nate chuckled, "they took it out after lunch today.  We also have a surprise for you guys above and beyond the trach removal."

Ray and Walt looked at them impatiently, "Ok you irritating smart asses, what did we miss today?" Ray complained.

Nate grabbed his phone and pulled up the video from Brad's PT appointment and handed it to Ray and Walt. As they pressed play Brad and Nate watched their expressions as they watched Brad's first steps with awe their intense emotions flashing across their faces.

"OK we leave for one day and it's like you have to crazy overachieve just to prove to us we shouldn't leave or we'll miss out on something important." Ray exclaimed.

Walt grinned at Brad, "great job today. I still wish we could have been here."

Brad smiled slightly, "I like to have things to show you all when you have to go." He paused, "I just want to be able to go with you sooner rather than later."

Nate got up to let Brad eat his dinner, but he kissed him gently. "We want you to be able to come with us too.  Just keep working hard Love and we'll get there."

 


	16. Remodeling and Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walt, Ray, Poke and Mike work on the remodel of the house and get to visit Brad.

Chapter 16:  Remodeling and Reunions

Brad was sitting in his wheelchair looking at an envelope when Nate, Ray and Walt came in.  Mary smiled at them as she kissed the top of Brad's head. "Don't worry Brad, you'll make the right call for you. If you're worried talk to them," she said softly for his ears alone.

Brad smiled and thanked her for staying with him while they were away.  Nate hugged and kissed his mom goodbye before greeting Brad with a hug and kiss.  Nate got a closer look at the envelope and looked at Brad with curiosity.  "What's that?" Nate inquired softly.

"My re-enlistment paperwork..." Brad trailed off quietly looking away.

Nate, Ray and Walt looked slowly at the envelope and then back to Brad.  Nate gently stroked Brad's cheek, "What are you thinking Brad?"

"I don't know what I want." Brad whispered. "I don't know what I should do." Brad paused, "what I ccan do..."

Ray and Walt pulled up chairs while Brad pulled Nate onto his lap. Nate smiled and kissed him softly.  "Brad, if you want to re-up and see if you can get back to where you need to be I'm ok with it." Nate paused, "if you want to take your 20 and retire I'm ok with that too."

Ray sighed, "Brad you know we're going to back you up no matter what you choose so it's really about what you want." Ray took a deep breath, "You've done your 20 so if you retire you have your full benefits."

Walt shrugged, "You were thinking about this five years ago when you proposed to Nate.  You seemed ready then. I know a lot has changed and you might feel differently now..." Walt took a steadying breath, "We love you and will be with you every step of the way no matter what."

Brad nodded slowly against Nate's shoulder. "I want to be here, but I'm nnot ssure I want to go out like this."

Nate smiled and squeezed his hand. "Brad if you want to re-enlist I won't stop you but I want you to want to be there doing that. If home with us is where you really want to be, there is no shame in taking your 20.  You've sacrificed enough.  You've given enough."

"I wish this ended differently, but I want it to be my choice and not a forced mmedical." Brad sighed sounding resigned.

Nate turned to face Brad and gently forced him to look at him, "Brad ignore the injury.  Ignore what happened.  If this hadn't happened if you had come home to us uninjured what would you have done?  Would you have retired or signed the papers and re-enlisted?"

Brad swallowed, "I would have retired.  Nno question.  It would be our time together now."

Nate smiled, "So is it really any different now?"

They watched as the tension left Brad's shoulders, "Not really." Brad stated firmly.  "My commander is going to want an answer. I'll need the separation paperwork."

Nate looked at Ray and Walt before kissing Brad, "ok I'll give him a call and see if Ray and Walt can't pick up the paperwork and bring it back while they are out and about tomorrow."  Nate paused, "Ok before you sign any of the paperwork I want to set up some appointments to figure out what we need to do to get you the best care and services.  If a medical retirement is going to be more beneficial than standard retirement, I want to make sure we do this right."

Brad nodded. "Well I don't need to ggive them an answer yet bbut we need to start thinking about it..." Brad took a deep breath, "This is ggoing to be hard no matter what, but I want to make sure we get this right. I've got 3 months to request retirement and 7 months before my ccontract is up.  So we'll do the meetings and fill out whatever paperwork is nneeded. I'll go whatever way I need to for this to work out bbest."

 They continued planning meetings, going over therapy appointments, paperwork, and started to plan their future one step at a time.

....

Nate, Ray and Walt helped Brad get ready before Ray and Walt had to head out for the day.  Brad and Nate shared a quiet breakfast while going over their schedule for the day. The therapy appointments were all early and then their meeting to start talking about Brad's options for separation would be later after lunch. 

Ray and Walt's plans for the day were being kept a secret from Brad.  They had all decided that they wanted the remodeling of the house to be a surprise for Brad.  He did know that Poke and Mike were coming into town for the weekend and that Ray and Walt were going to be showing them around so they would be around a little less this weekend.

Brad and Nate were just getting ready to head to Brad's speech therapy session as Ray and Walt were heading out.  "Hey have a good day guys, we'll see you around dinner time." Ray stated.

Walt smiled at them, "Brad do you want visitors tonight?" 

Brad arched an eyebrow at him, "You two aren't visitors you're family."

"I know that but Poke and Mike should be getting in tonight and they were hoping to be able to see you sometime this weekend.  I just wasn't sure if you'd want to see them right away or if you wanted to wait." Walt explained.

Brad gave a tentative smile, "You can bring them by if they want to come.  I'm sure you've all been keeping them updated any way."

Ray stopped in front of Brad, "Hey, if you aren't ready to deal with anyone outside of family yet it's ok.  They will understand Brad."

Brad shook his head. "No, I want tto see them.  It's just hard to let anyone see this."

Nate wrapped an arm around Brad's shoulders, "it's your call Brad, no one else. You have come so far since Mike last saw you. Yes, you are right that we've kept them, and Tim, updated on your progress more so than anyone else, but they're our friends and we were pretty sure you'd be fine with it."

Brad smiled, "I am fine with you keeping them updated, I'm sure Rudy, Pappy, and Kocher have also been getting more thorough updates than the average knitting circle member too."  Brad took a deep steadying breath, "I'm just worried about letting anyone ssee mme like this.  It's hard tto deal with tthis and I don't want to upset anyone or make them uncomfortable." 

Walt shook his head and smiled, "Brad they're worried because you were hurt.  Hell you almost died on us.  They are happy you're healing and starting to feel better.  They won't look at you any differently.  They are just as happy as we are that you're still here."  Walt paused, "I don't think we've told you this yet and maybe we should have. Brad you are still you.  You are still the Iceman.  None of us think any less of you.  We love you."

Brad looked away, "I love you guys too.  I want to see them, even if it makes me nervous.  Bring them by if they want to come."

....

Ray and Walt went to the house long enough to finish making sure everything was ready to begin the remodeling project.  

"So do we bring them to the hospital tonight or do we wait?" Walt asked Ray

Ray sighed, "Knowing Brad if we wait he's just going to brood and work himself up needlessly."  Ray paused, "I trust Mike and Poke not to fuck this up and it will be good for Brad to expand his comfort zone a little."

Walt chewed nervously on his lower lip, "I know they won't try to fuck this up but Brad is really nervous."

Ray smiled, "honestly Brad is really fucking proud and he feels like he's less right now, and he really doesn't want anyone to know that he feels that way.  I think once he sees that people outside of the family don't see him any differently it and will help in the long run." Ray smirked, "plus he gave us permission.  I think he wants this challenge."

Walt nodded, "ok, if that's what you think, sooner rather than later will be better for Brad's peace of mind."

 Ray looked at the plan they had been outlining for the weekend and realized how grateful he was that Poke and Mike were coming in on Thursday and not heading out until early Tuesday.  They had fairly ambitious plans for the house and they wanted to make sure that everyone still got to spend some time with Nate and Brad.

Walt looked from the plans, to the list of materials they picked up and had stored in the garage, and then to his watch, "Shit Ray we need to get a move on. Their flights get in at 1300 which gives us an hour in shitty traffic to get there."

Ray nodded grabbing the keys and followed Walt out to the car.

...

Ray and Walt pulled up at BWI to pick up Poke and Mike who were standing with their bags waiting.

Ray pulled up in front of them, parking so Mike and Poke could put their bags in the trunk and climb into the car. 

"What's up Dogs?" Poke inquired.

"Hey gents." Mike drawled.

"Hi.  How were the flights?" Walt asked.

"Bumpy." Mike stated as Poke said, "cramped."

"How are you guys doing? You look a little beat." Mike asked.

"We're good, just starting to get regular sleep again." Ray answered.

"How's the Iceman and the LT?" Poke asked.

Walt smiled, "Doing well.  Brad's made some serious progress in his first few weeks of rehab. There was a small set back due to a medication he didn't react well to but he made up all the ground he lost."

Ray smirked, "He's still the overachiever we all know and love, busting his ass like always."  Ray paused, "Nate's doing well now that Brad is seeming to be on the mend.  He's finally letting himself relax a little."

"Hey did we ever email you that video Nate took in his PT appointment a week ago when Brad took his first steps since this shit started almost 5 months ago?" Walt inquired.

"No Walt, we didn't see it. Which sucks by the way cause that's a pretty big deal." Poke snarked.

"Did you email Tim?  He'd love to see it. He won't be back from maneuvers for another week, but I know from the few emails I've gotten from him that he's still worried about Brad." Mike asked.

Ray laughed, "Yeah Gunny.  Nate made sure Doc got emailed that video.  We got a short call not too long after we sent the email when Doc had some downtime." Ray smirked, "Can I just say that it's really weird to hear Doc sound so happy when he's dealing with the idiocy we all left behind just because the Iceman took a few steps."

Walt rolled his eyes, "Ray, almost six weeks ago we weren't even sure Brad would wake up let alone be doing this well. I think excitement is required for everyone"

Ray stuck his tongue out at Walt, "well when you put it like that it's not as amusing Walt."

Poke and Mike laughed in the back seat, "Fuck Dog it's Iraq all over again. They fight and bitch, and then look like they want to fuck."

"So gents what's the plan?" Mike redirected the conversation.

Walt smiled at Mike's deflection, "well we thought we'd head over to the house and get you guys settled in.  Then we'll go over the renovation plans and possibly get started on a few small things before heading over to Walter Reed to meet up with Nate and Brad for dinner."

Mike nodded. "Sounds like we're going to be busy.  Just to check are we going to be eating hospital food or can we bring them some real food?"

Ray laughed, "Well we've all just been eating hospital food but since Brad doesn't have any restrictions anymore we could bring them something. I'll just need to let Nate know so that they don't get anything before we get there."

"Good.  I made a promise to Nate the last time I was here that I should be able to make good on.  Can we swing into a grocery store so I can pick up what I need?" Mike requested.

"Gunny you're going to cook?" Poke raised an eyebrow.

"Look Brad likes my wife's spaghetti and she happened to send me with the recipe.  So if we can get some actual food into Brad that he likes why not." Mike replied.  "Also I promised Nate that when Brad was able to have it I'd make sure he got it."

"You got it Gunny." Ray stated as he headed for the store.

....

While Ray and Walt went over plans with them in the kitchen Mike went to work cooking the only recommendation either Ray or Walt had about dinner was to use a smaller pasta that would be easier for Brad to eat without help.  Mike went along with idea easily.  Poke started asking questions about where they wanted to start.

"I wanted to get these four doors taken off and stored in the garage tonight and possibly start setting up the frame work for the ramp set up." Walt answered.

Poke nodded, "ok while Mike is cooking the three of us can get the doors taken care of and Mike can give us a hand with the layout of the ramp when he's finished in here."

Walt and Ray nodded in agreement. "Give me a minute to call Nate and let him know about dinner.  They should be in between appointments." Walt requested as he dialed Nate's cell phone.

"Nate, Mike wants to bring everyone dinner to the hospital tonight." Walt paused, "He said something about following through on a promise. "

Nate laughed, "ok I'll make sure we're ready for dinner when you get here then.  Brad's going to be happy if Mike's bringing what I think he is.  I gotta get Brad to PT and then we've got meetings about his retirement options after.  We should be back to his room by 1700.  See you guys then."

"Ok see you then Nate." Walt concluded.

Walt rounded up his tools and they went to work quickly.

....

 Brad and Nate were sitting around the small table in Brad's room with various piles of paperwork that they were going over.  Brad leaned forward in his wheelchair as he reached for a form to read.  There was a knock on his door before it opened. Their heads snapped to the door as Walt and Ray led Mike and Poke into the room.  Brad and Nate smiled as Nate started to clean up the forms and paperwork off the table placing it in his briefcase for safe keeping. 

Mike grinned, "Looking good Brad.  I brought you something."

Brad smiled slightly, "Thanks, wwhat did you bring?  It smells good."

"I have on good authority we'll be having one of your favorite meals tonight." Mike hinted.

Brad grinned, "did you bring Clara's spaghetti?"

Mike nodded. "Someone said you liked it so we thought a change from hospital food was in order."

Brad gave a genuine smile before looking past Mike at his other friend, "Poke, it's good to see you."

"Looking good Iceman. Gina and the girls send their love." Poke replied.

Nate stood up and moved Brad's chair out from behind the table so they could go outside for dinner.  Mike and Poke exchanged handshakes and hugs with both Brad and Nate.

They headed out to one of the picnic tables and Mike set out dinner for everyone.  Nate helped Brad fill his bowl before giving it to him.  Brad breathed in deep and smiled. "It smells amazing." 

 Brad picked up his fork with a slightly unsteady hand, took a bite and smiled.  "It's perfect Mmike. Thank you for bringing it."

Mike grinned, "Glad you like it Brad.  We figured you'd like a change of pace from hospital food."  

Poke looked Brad over, "Damn Brad you're skinny.  We're going to have to work on putting some meat back on your bones Dog."

Brad smiled and shrugged, "I'm ttrying."

Nate laughed at Poke, "He's actually doing pretty well with that, he's put 10 out of the 55 pounds he lost back on."

Poke's jaw dropped, "Christ that's a lot of weight to make up ground on. It's good you're off to a great start."

Brad shook his head. "It's better now that I get to eat more."

Brad put his fingers against his throat as he coughed quietly. 

"How's the neck, and throat?" Mike asked.

"Healing up well.  Nate thinks we can stop taping it in a few days." Brad replied.

"So how's the recovery going?" Poke inquired.

"Therapy is hard, bbut it's helping." Brad paused, "I feel like things get better everyday.  I've gotten to start working on walking in PT and everything else has been getting better with practice in the other therapies."

 Mike smiled, "I'm glad things are getting better."

They all stayed for a few hours getting caught up with each other and playing cards.  Brad started to get sleepy toward the end he was dozing in his wheelchair.  Walt covered him with a blanket while everyone continued their game.

"He really does look good Nate." Mike commented.

Nate smiled, "Yeah he's really starting to get better.  He's getting stronger everyday."

Poke arched an eyebrow at Nate. "Ok LT what's going on? You look like you have a lot on your mind.  Is there anything we can help with?"

Nate chuckled softly. "It's just been a crazy day between his therapy schedule and having meetings about his future plans and all the paperwork that goes with it."

Mike raised an eyebrow, "are you shitting me, his reenlistment shit showed up didn't it." It was a disbelieving statement not a question.

Nate gave a sardonic smile, "you know the Corps and their timing."

Poke rolled his eyes, "fuck, how'd he take it?"

"He took it ok.  Wasn't really sure what he wanted to do but that's what some of the meetings we were having today were for.  It's looking into his options and trying to make the best choices for him and his future." Nate explained.

"Do they have any idea how long he's going to be here?" Mike asked.

"Don't know.  We've been here a little over 5 months already, but he's got a lot of therapy that he needs to complete and they're still figuring out what meds he's going to need or not.  They've only just gotten him off the strongest anti-seizure medication, and there are still two more that they are just starting to lower.  So far we haven't had any issues but that doesn't mean there won't be as we continue to wean him off the meds." Nate sighed tiredly.

"He's making a lot of progress in a very short time on a lot of things but there's just a lot up in the air." Walt interjected, "also he still has a ways to go before they are comfortable with outpatient anything.  His weight is still a big concern and until he's more comfortable getting around they are hesitant to consider talking about a discharge date although they have talked about the possibility of day passes."

"Well Nate, you know if there's anything we can do to help just say the word and we'll do it." Mike stated frankly.

Nate smiled, "I know you guys would and we appreciate it more than you can imagine.  I promise if we need anything we'll ask."

Poke glanced at Brad's sleeping form, "Nate we're going to let you guys get some rest.  You both look like you need it. We'll be back tomorrow around dinner if you'd like."

Brad shifted restlessly in his chair still sleeping but looking uncomfortable and agitated.  Nate turned to Brad waking him gently. "Hey Love, you're safe. It's ok." 

Brad startled awake reaching for Nate's hand. Nate kissed his forehead gently and took his hand. "You with me Brad?"

Brad nodded and whispered, "yeah."

Brad blinked owlishly as he looked around at everyone. 

Mike smiled fondly, "hey Brad we're going to take off and let you get some sleep.  We'll see you tomorrow night."

Brad smiled sleepily, "good night and thank you for dinner.  See you guys tomorrow."

Poke smiled and wished them a good night as Ray and Walt made sure Nate wouldn't need any help getting Brad to bed.

After everyone left for the night, Nate helped Brad get ready for bed, crawling into bed with him.  They were both asleep before they knew it, exhausted after such an emotional couple of days.


	17. Fighting for Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike, Poke, Ray and Walt get renovations started and Brad scares the crap out of everyone.

Chapter 17: Fighting for Recovery

The next day Mike, Poke, Ray and Walt were  up early to get a good start on their work for the day. The goal was to get the ramp built so they could let the sealant dry and set on the wood before laying down the treads.

As they were working Ray asked, "so now that you've gotten to see Brad and Nate do you feel better?"

Mike smiled, "they're both doing better than I expected. I was a little worried with Brad not having the independence he needs, but he seems to be taking things in stride." Mike paused, " I'm not gonna lie. I've been a little worried about Nate since the last time I saw him, he has a tendency to forget he's human and has needs as well. Thankfully they both seem to be doing alright.  I will say though that it does look like Nate has dropped a little weight and he could use a hair cut."

 Ray rolled his eyes, "Gunny I'm gonna level with you there are days where it's a bitch to get the LT to take care of his own needs.  It's gotten better as Brad has improved but while he was so sick and shit it was almost impossible to get him to take a minute to himself away from Brad.  It took the parents kicking us out for a day before Nate really started to see how gone he was.  Now he's acting like everything is fine, but I really think he's in serious need of another break.  Hell I was kind of hoping we could get the parents to stay with Brad tonight so we could get Nate out for a drink or a meal to unwind."

"That's a great idea.  When we get done here I'll call their parents and see what we can work out." Walt laughed. "There have definitely been tough days for both of them, but it's been amazing to watch them support each other and work together to overcome this. They are two of the strongest people I know."

Poke smiled, "The LT does look a little rough, but it was still more of a shock to see Brad. He looks better and worse than I imagined."

Ray arched an eyebrow. "How so?"

"I knew he'd been trached, but seeing the end results versus picturing it is a little different. Seeing that white bandage against his throat shows not only how much he's been through, but how far he's come." Poke paused, "the biggest shock was how skinny and weak he is physically.  Don't get me wrong Brad's still one of the toughest people I know but I think the hardest part of this is seeing him vulnerable."

Walt nodded, "I hear you there. I think that's been the hardest part for all of us. Fuck you start to think he's invincible, and then this." Walt took a breath. "The most awe inspiring thing about this has been watching him fight back. He just doesn't quit and he's seeing results even when they are slow to come forward he keeps fighting until he gets it."

Ray nodded. "He is a warrior and he just keeps fighting, every challenge, every set back he's just keeps fighting through it to get better. He is so hard on himself at times, but it keeps paying off."

They kept working even as they continued to talk about what had happened and how far they had come, and how far there still was to go. They had just finished the frame for the ramp and were laying down the floor of the ramp when Walt's cell rang.

....

Nate helped Brad get ready for the day.  He was a little shaky and stiff this morning. Nate ran a gentle hand through Brad's hair, "are you feeling OK?"

Brad nodded, "I'm a little tired.  My muscles feel tight."

Nate nodded and kissed Brad softly. "We'll talk to Cody before PT today and see if there's anything we can do to help."

Brad nodded before shifting his attention to the transfer to his wheelchair.  His balance felt a little off to him but he chalked it up to the fatigue and stiffness.

Once Brad was set they headed to the cafeteria for breakfast. Brad picked out eggs and fruit for his breakfast while Nate went for cereal and fruit.

They settled at a table before starting in on their meal. About half way through Brad started just picking at his meal. 

Nate looked concerned, "what's wrong Love?"

"I'm not very hungry this morning." Brad answered quietly.

"It's OK eat what you can. If you get hungry later I've got some snacks back in your room." Nate replied thinking _fuck don't let him be getting sick_.

Brad nodded and continued to pick at his breakfast until they had to head to his physical therapy session.

"Hey Brad, Nate, how are you guys doing today?" Cody greeted.

"I'm doing ok." Nate answered.

"I'm feeling a llittle stiff and ttired." Brad answered softly.

"Ok. Well, we can start out with some easy stretching and see if that helps the stiffness." Cody answered, "if we need to we'll go a little easier today."

Brad nodded as Nate helped him get out of his wheelchair and onto the mat so they could start stretching him out.  Cody commented, "I am seeing a little more tension on your left side today Brad.  Can you squeeze my hand?"

Brad attempted to straighten his fingers and grip Cody's hand but he was struggling to get them to respond.  He did squeeze when Cody slid his fingers into his partly closed fist.  Brad looked frustrated. Nate looked concerned.

"Good job Brad.  Ok gents, I don't want you to worry. This is a part of the challenges with brain injuries, sometimes it will result in increased tone and tension in the affected muscles.  You have made really great progress, but sometimes things like this will happen anyway." Cody explained as he worked to stretch the overly tense muscles.  Once he was finished stretching Brad he inquired, "Are you ready to get up and try some more walking?"

Brad grinned as he replied, "yes. I wwant to."

Nate and Cody got him back in his wheelchair so they could take him over to where Alex was waiting for them by the parallel bars with the gait belt.  They got Brad secured with the gait belt and proceeded to help him grip the bars as they helped him to his feet.  Brad wavered a little but found his balance fairly quickly as Cody and Alex waited patiently. Nate watched on closely unable to shake the feeling that something wasn't quite right with Brad this morning his suspicion was confirmed when Cody and Alex had Brad walking along the parallel bars and he froze body tense.

Nate looked him over, "Brad are you ok?"

Brad swallowed convulsively but didn't respond.  Nate notice he was blinking a little more than normal and his right hand was trembling against the bar.  "Cody, Alex we need to get him away from the bars and laying down right now." Nate's tone brooked no argument.

The two men maneuvered Brad away from the bars and laid him down on the mat they were just stretching him on.  Nate knelt next to Brad watching for any signs of what was wrong, a terrible suspicion creeping in. "Brad are you ok?  Love look at me." Nate stated as he stroked Brad's cheek.

Nate's eyes flicked to the clock as he failed to get a response from Brad other than convulsive swallowing and his hand trembling.  Nate gently stroked Brad's hair, "it's ok Love.  Cody, Alex I think he's having a seizure can one of you page Dr. Michaels."  

As Nate turned his attention back towards him Brad let out a strangled sound as his body went ridged, eye's half rolled back.  Nate calmly stayed next to Brad making sure he didn't hit anything as his body spasmed uncontrollably.  Cody called for Dr. Michaels and his team as Alex helped Nate monitor Brad.  When Nate saw vomit slide down the corner of Brad's mouth he and Alex rolled him on his side to protect his airway.  Nate carefully gripped his shoulder and hip to keep Brad on his side as he continued to seize.  Nate barely registered the warm wet sensation soaking into the knee of his jeans as he looked again to the clock timing the seizure.  He vaguely noticed the wet spot on Brad's track pants and the mat.

"It's ok. I've got you Love."  Nate soothed as the spasms started to slow, "It's almost over.  You're ok Brad."

Brad's breathing was halting and irregular his lips were slightly dusky with a bluish tint.  At the seven minute mark Dr. Michaels and his team rushed in and began assessing Brad as his body stilled.  Dr. Michaels immediately cleared Brad's airway of vomit before placing a mask attached to a blue ambu bag that he was squeezing to push air into Brad's lungs. Dr. Michaels asked Nate, curious if he had remembered the protocols from the last time this happened, "do you know how long he's been seizing?"

Nate's eyes snapped to the clock, "He's been actively having a tonic clonic seizure for the last 7 1/2 minutes but he's been acting a little off all morning.  I'm fairly certain he was having a complex partial seizure for at least a minute and 30 seconds before the tonic clonic phase started."

The nurse had the IV started when Dr. Michaels half smiled at Nate's thorough answer before stating, "Nate I need to secure his airway he's not breathing well enough on his own at the moment so we need to intubate."

Nate interrupted before he could ask him to step outside, "So do it but I'm not moving.  If he wakes up at this point you will need me to get him to calm down unless you want to sedate him."

Nate watched as Dr. Michaels tilted Brad's head back and proceeded to expertly slide the tube down Brad's throat.  He noted that Brad didn't even flinch or gag just lay there with his eyes barely slit open completely unresponsive.  Nate's anxiety spiked as Brad's right hand began to tremble again.  Dr. Michaels noticed as well and immediately loaded anticonvulsants into Brad's IV as they loaded him on a gurney.  "Nate we need to take him for scans and then we are going to set up an EEG to monitor his seizure activity.  He's going into the ICU when we're done.  As soon as we have him settled you will be able to go sit with him, but until then I need you to go wait for me in the ICU waiting room. Alright?"

Nate couldn't take his eyes off Brad as he nodded his acceptance to Dr. Michaels. "Where should I take his wheelchair?" His voice was a dazed monotone.

"Don't worry about it Nate, Cody will take it back to his room on the rehab floor.  Just head over to the waiting room and I'll be there as soon as I can to talk to you." Dr. Michaels directed, trying to give Nate a little comfort but focused on getting Brad stabilized so they could get the scans needed to make sure nothing more serious was going on.

Nate followed them out of the PT area before breaking off and heading towards Brad's room.  He needed to get Brad's fleece blanket if he wasn't going to be getting back to that room tonight.  Nate grabbed the blanket before heading toward the ICU and the waiting room he hated.  As he sat down he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Walt's number.

....

Walt stepped away and turned his back to everyone as he answered his phone.  "Hey Nate what's up? We were just talking about you."  Walt said cheerfully.

Walt could hear Nate's shaky breathing on the other end of the phone.  Walt's blood ran cold, "Nate, are you ok?  What's wrong?"

Nate said softly, "Brad... Brad had a seizure during physical therapy..."

Walt took a steadying breath, "Nate are you ok?  Is Brad ok?" 

Nate whispered, "they're doing tests... He needed to be intubated..."

"Nate, I'm going to tell Ray I need to leave and then I'm coming to you.  Where are you at right now?" Walt stated calmly.

"I'm in the ICU waiting room..." Nate trailed off.

"Ok Nate just wait there I'll be there in 15 minutes." Walt reassured

 "Okay," Nate whispered before hanging up.

Walt turned around as Ray walked over quickly.  "What's going on?"

"Brad had a seizure.  I don't know anything yet but Nate needs me to get there ASAP." Walt kissed Ray, "Keep working on everything I'll call you as soon as I have a handle on what's going on and what shape they're both in."

Ray nodded, "How's Nate sound?"

"Shell shocked." Walt answered softly.

Ray gave him a quick hug and kiss, "Get going call me as soon as you know what's up.  We're going to get the ramp finished for sure before we even think of heading to the hospital."

Walt nodded and headed for the car.

Ray walked back to where Mike and Poke were working.  "Looks like tonight is not going to work."

Mike arched and eyebrow, "What's going on?"

Ray bit his lip, "Brad had a seizure during pt today.  Walt's heading to the hospital to stay with Nate while they wait on word about Brad and what's going on.  Walt wants us to keep working here, thinks it will help Nate if we can get more done.  He'll call us as soon as they know anything and let us know when we can go visit."

Poke looked skeptical, "How's the LT?"

Ray half smiled, "A little freaked from what Walt had to say, but so far ok."

....

Walt walked quietly into the ICU waiting room and saw Nate sitting with his head in his hands holding Brad's fleece blanket folded in his hands.  There were stains on the knees of his jeans.  Walt walked over to Nate and carefully touched his shoulder, "Nate..." 

Nate's head flew up as he heard Walt's voice.  Nate threw himself into Walt's arms shaking still clutching Brad's blanket.  Walt kissed the top of Nate's head, "Shh, Nate I've got you.  It will be ok."  Walt wrapped his arms tightly around Nate holding him close. "Nate look at me."

Nate pulled back to look at Walt.  He was pale, eyes haunted and red rimmed. "Walt..." Nate whispered brokenly. "It felt like it was never going to stop.  Then he stopped and less than five minutes later it looked like he was going to start again.  I watched Dr. Michaels put a tube down his throat and he didn't even flinch. No response, nothing..."

Walt smiled gently, "Nate it's going to be ok.  You're not alone. I'm right here Ray is at the house with Mike and Poke.  We love you guys you are not alone.  I love you dearly Nate, but I need you to go back to Brad's room to get cleaned up take a shower, change your clothes.  I'll wait here incase there is news on Brad but you need a minute Nate."

Nate started to protest but Walt kissed him softly to quiet his protest. "Nate, they won't let you into his room like this, you have to get changed.  A shower will help you feel clean and help you relax a little.  I know you're worried.  I know he scared you but until we hear anything we need to be positive and remember that they said that seizure activity was a possibility as they started adjust his medications."  Walt kissed him softly again before making Nate look at him, "Nate, please don't start thinking the worst until we have more information and have actually gotten to talk to Dr. Michaels and see Brad. Go get cleaned up and come right back here to me.  I will be right here when you get back."

Nate nodded slowly before he took a step back and looked at himself. He sighed, "I need to shower and change.  Can you hold this for me.  Brad gets cold so easily.  He's going to want this..."

Walt smiled as he took the blanket, "It's ok Nate.  I'll be right here waiting for you when you get done."

Nate walked slowly out the door and left Walt alone in the waiting room.

When Nate closed the door Walt picked up his phone and called Ray.

"Walt how's it going?" Ray asked anxiously.

Walt sighed, "Nate said Brad had two seizures back to back and that they had to intubate him.  They're running tests right now and there hasn't been any updates yet."

"Fuck. How's Nate holding up?" Ray replied.

 "Nate is seriously rattled.  I just talked him into showering and changing." Walt added.

"He needed a shower?" Ray inquired

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure Brad threw up on him and if I had to guess he also lost control of his bladder during the seizure."  Walt said quietly.

"So Nate was the one keeping an eye on Brad during the seizure if his clothes are any indication." Ray stated.

"Can you really see him letting anyone that wasn't his doctor handling this without helping?  This is keeping Brad safe we're talking about here, and it's Nate." Walt huffed out a strained laugh.

"Point," Ray conceded, "do you need anything yet?"

"Just keep working on the ramp and the house.  I may need you to come and get Nate out of here for a little while for his own mental health, but until he's seen Brad and talked to Dr. Michaels I don't see him being willing to leave." Walt sighed.

"You got it." Ray paused, "I love you.  You know that right?"

Walt laughed, "Yeah Ray I know it, I love you too. Nate should be back soon. I'll call you as soon as we've gotten to see Brad and know anything."

....

Nate felt like a zombie as he walked back to Brad's room long enough to change and shower.  He kept seeing Brad seizing on the floor in the physical therapy room and flashing back to Brad sick, pale, frail and seizing violently in his bed unconscious and no idea if he'd be ok or if he'd ever wake up.  By the time Nate got back to Brad's room he had tears sliding silently down his cheeks.  He went to their duffle bag and pulled out new jeans and a t-shirt.  His breath caught in his throat as he moved Brad's sweatshirt his hands clenched tightly to the material.  He buried his face in the soft sweatshirt and breathed in the scent of Brad slowly the tension bled from his shoulders as he kept breathing in the sweatshirt.  Nate looked at his jeans thinking of how they got dirty and ran to the bathroom as he vomited into the toilet.  Nate got up and rinsed his mouth and brushed his teeth before turning on the shower.  Nate stripped down and put his clothes in their dirty clothes bag before stepping into the hot water. Nate showered quickly anxious to get back to the ICU waiting room and Walt.  Nate threw on his jeans and t-shirt  before pulling Brad's sweatshirt over his head.  Nate felt himself relax as he was enveloped with the comfort of Brad's scent, almost feeling as though Brad was wrapping around his arms around him.  Nate took one last moment to steel himself before walking quickly back to Walt.

Walt stood up smiling as he saw Nate clean and looking a little more relaxed.  He couldn't help but notice Brad's sweatshirt and smiled fondly as he asked, "Cold?"

Nate nodded, "A little. I'm still feeling a little overwhelmed.  What if this is like before?  What do we do?"

Walt wrapped his arms around Nate, "We wait and see what Dr. Michaels has to say.  We support each other and have faith in Brad and his strength to overcome this, but Nate I think we need to keep in mind that this incident so far is one maybe two seizures and that they have been adjusting his meds and that this was a possibility.  With proper medication they can keep this in check.  We need to trust them to figure this out."

Nate leaned further into Walt's embrace, "Thank you for coming here, and waiting with me."

Walt kissed the top of Nate's head, "I love you and Brad.  You called. You needed me I'm here.  Ray is at home with Mike and Poke so that they can keep working on the house.  We will get through this Nate, even if this is a setback it's going to be alright."

Walt guided them over to the couch and sat them down.  Nate curled up next to Walt blinking slowly as he was crashing from his adrenaline rush.  Walt smiled, "Nate it's ok lay down and rest I'll wake you up as soon as Dr. Michaels comes in."

Nate lay his head on Walt's lap as he slowly drifted to sleep.  Walt covered him up with Brad's blanket, which Nate gripped and pulled it tighter around himself as he dozed.  Walt gently ran his fingers over Nate's hair allowing the familiar smell of Brad and the gentle stroking to start to soothe Nate allowing him to rest.  Nate's head snapped up as soon as he heard the door open.  He sat up rubbing the sleep from his eyes.  

Dr. Michaels smiled at them, "Nate, Walt we've got Brad settled and stabilized. He's resting with the help of a light sedative at the moment.  It should wear off shortly we just needed to keep him still during the scans.  Which looked good by the way.  There is nothing out of the ordinary going on that we can see.  The spots that were there from the initial injury are stable if not slightly smaller so nothing has changed negatively there.  We are seeing no swelling, bruising or bleeding so that is good.  His spinal tap came back clean, no infections.  So this is going to be classified as his first breakthrough seizure which means that this is most likely a result of his initial injury.  We have changed the two medications out for a new medication that has better long term success and it will help control the seizures without as many of the side effects that we were seeing with the other medications."

Nate nodded, "Has he woken up at all yet? How long will he need to be on the ventilator?"

"He has not woken up yet, which can happen with seizures. Most patients need to sleep after," Dr. Michaels paused. "As far as the ventilator we're going to leave him on it for now while we wait to see his level of seizure activity.  It's very important that we can keep control of his airway especially if he has any more like this mornings that had him struggling.  He is responding well to the new medication and so far I have not seen any further seizure activity on his EEG.  That being said I'm not going to say that he won't have any more seizures but hopefully we can keep them in check and allow him to continue on with the rehabilitation process."

"Is this going to impact his career?" Nate inquired tentatively.

"It's too soon to tell how this is going to affect him long term.  He still has a very long road ahead of him and regardless of what he chooses or is required to do we will still be going through the medical board process as his injuries will have lasting consequences. He has earned his pension, but since this is a combat related injury he has earned disability as well.  It's really just going to depend on how far he is able to recover to see where his disability rating will fall.  We will help you both navigate this process Nate, so for right now don't worry about it. Focus on yourself and Brad and working through this latest challenge." Dr. Michaels explained.

Nate heaved a heavy sigh, "Ok is there anything else for us or are we just in the wait and see part of things."

"At the moment it's all about waiting on Brad to wake up and waiting on the medications to make sure we have the correct dosage to keep him seizure free." Dr. Michaels responded.

"Is he going to have to be intubated every time this happens?  Is he going to need to go to the hospital every time this happens?" Nate asked.

"The general rule of thumb is less than 5 minutes he doesn't need a hospital unless he is in distress or something goes wrong, if it's more than 5 minutes he should be seen.  As far as intubation goes, no he shouldn't need to be intubated every time but I'm not saying he won't need the help ever.  Also I might recommend that he has access to an oxygen mask if he needs a little help after a seizure but we need to see how they progress and if it would be helpful for him.  The oxygen set up is something that we would show you how to use and could easily be used at home if needed." Dr. Michaels answered.

"Can we go see him?" Nate asked quietly.

Dr. Michaels smiled, "Yes Nate you and Walt can go sit with him.  He's still on the ventilator and we've hooked up his g-tube.  We are also still doing a continuous EEG on him until he is seizure free for 24 hours when that has happened we can look at getting him back into his routine.  We will space his therapies a little more so he can have a rest between them until we are sure the medications are working and he's able to get back to his regular routine."

Walt wrapped an arm around Nate before guiding him toward the door he looked at Dr. Michaels, "Thanks for everything."

Dr. Michaels nodded as he watched them head for Brad's room.

 ....

 They opened the door to Brad's ICU room, the first thing they heard was the sound of the heart monitor and the hiss of the ventilator.  Brad was propped up on his side with pillows holding him in place.  There was a soft light on behind his bed allowing them to observe Brad from the door.  He was slightly pale, blond lashes brushing against his cheeks. Nate noted the electrodes secured to his scalp, and couldn't help but think how hard the ointment they use is to wash out of Brad's hair. The et-tube was taped to the corner of his mouth. The IV secured to his left arm. His shoulders were bare under the blanket draped over his body.  Nate could see the evidence of the feeding tube and a catheter as he gently lay a hand on Brad's hip he could feel the adult diaper knowing it was needed.  Nate closed his eyes and took a deep breath exchanging a knowing look with Walt, before whispering, "he's going to hate this." 

Walt placed a steadying hand on Nate's back, "I know but it's what he needs right now.  He'll understand." Walt gave a half smile, "He'll hate it and be frustrated, but he'll understand the necessity of it."

Nate nodded as he gently stroked Brad's cheek, "I love you.  You're ok."

Walt squeezed Nate's shoulder, "Do you need anything?"

"I need a drink of water." Nate whispered.

"Do you want me to go get it for you?" Walt asked gently.

"No I'm going to go get it.  Will you stay with him?" Nate asked carefully.

Walt smiled, "Of course I'll stay with him.  It's ok if you need a little time Nate."  Walt gave him a tight hug before sitting down in the chair next to Brad's bed carefully taking his hand.

Nate gave a half smile before kissing Brad's forehead.  "I love you and I will be right back.  Rest easy Love."  Nate carefully draped the fleece blanket over Brad's still form as his skin felt chilled and Nate didn't want him to be any more uncomfortable than necessary.

Shortly after Nate left the room Brad's hand spasmed in Walt's hand.  Walt's head snapped toward Brad's face and watched as his eyes fought to open.  He gripped Brad's hand, "it's ok Brad you had a seizure and they had to put you back on the ventilator, don't fight it."  Walt stroked Brad's cheek gently. "I've got you Brad.  Nate will be right back he needed to step out for a minute."

Brad's mouth moved a little around the ET-tube, as he gagged on it. 

"Brad open your eyes, look at me.  You're on a ventilator stop fighting it." Walt directed.

Slowly Brad's hazy blue eyes opened and tracked toward Walt. He forced himself to relax against the intrusion in his throat and trust that it was important.  He squeezed Walt's hand and looked around confused.

Walt stroked his cheek carefully, "It's ok Brad.  You had a seizure during PT this morning.  You're in the ICU while they adjust your meds.  They'll take the tube out when they know you can maintain your airway if you have another seizure."

Brad gave a slight nod of his head before squeezing Walt's hand and closing his eyes again.

Brad's eyes slit open as Nate opened the door and came over to Walt, "How's he doing?"

Walt smiled, "He woke up for a minute.  He was a little confused but he relaxed right away as I explained what was going on."

Brad's eyes fluttered open to actively watch Nate.  Nate's breath stopped at the sight of Brad's hazy blue eyes open and watching him.  A grin slowly spread across his face as he knelt next to Brad's bed taking his out stretched hand. "Hey Love.  It's good to see you awake."  Nate placed a soft kiss to the back of Brad's hand.  Brad squeezed his hand and closed his eyes relaxing into a normal sleep. "Rest easy. " Nate whispered.

Walt smiled, "Feel better?"

Nate gave a half smile, "Yeah, I feel like I can breathe again.  So far he seems ok."

Walt pressed the call button so they could let them know that Brad had woken up.

The door opened and Nate's head turned to see who was there. "Hey Marcie, he woke up a couple of minutes ago, but fell back to sleep."

Brad's eyes fluttered open at the sound of Nate talking to someone.  Marcie smiled, "Hey Brad, it's good to see you awake."

Brad moved his mouth and tried to shift his position.

"Hey hon no talking you know the drill, just relax I need to check you over before we page Dr. Michaels and see what he thinks." Marcie consoled.

After her initial evaluation Marcie paged Dr. Michaels who came in a few minutes later.  Walt and Nate each had a hand to keep Brad from trying to pull on anything.

Nate looked over his shoulder, "He's awake and fiesty.  Are we really going to need to leave this in very long?"

Dr. Michaels arched an eyebrow at him, "Brad, I need you to relax and stop trying to pull on things.  If you can't relax and leave the equipment alone we're going to have to sedate you. Is that what you want?"

Brad leveled an irritated glare at his doctor, but forced himself to relax as Nate and Walt let him go.

Dr. Michaels smiled, "Good now Brad I promise you all of this is necessary for right now.  If you stay seizure free or are able to keep up with your breathing if you do have a seizure we will remove the ET-tube, until then it's going to stay put.  I can give you meds to make it easier to relax and let you rest easier." 

Brad gave a slight nod of his head.

"Do you want the medication Brad?" Dr. Michaels asked.

Brad gave another slight nod of acceptance.

Dr. Michaels injected the medication into the IV, before continuing with Brad's evaluation.  "Alright guys Brad's looking good.  I want him to rest today as much as possible. We'll be readily checking on him. If he does start to seize press the call button."

Brad's eyes slid shut as Dr. Michaels left.

Walt gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead and looked at Nate. "I'm going step out and call Ray to let them know what's going on.  Do you want them to stop up later?"

Nate watched Brad, "I think it will be alright to have them stop in if they want it might help keep him relaxed and distracted."

"Be back in a bit." Walt said as he kissed the top of Nate's head.

 


	18. Rebounding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brad's rebounding well. Walt stays at the hospital while Mike, Poke and Ray make Nate take a little time away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while since I've updated real life has been a little crazy.

Chapter 18: Rebounding

"Dog are you sure it's going to be ok for us to go see him? He's had a hard day." Poke questioned.

Ray rolled his eyes for the third time. "Poke if he couldn't have visitors Walt would have said so. If there was a more serious problem Walt would have said so.  If they didn't want us there Walt would have said so. Are you noticing a pattern here?  If you're afraid to go in you can wait for us in the waiting room, but I'm going to check on them and do what I can to make this easier on everyone."

Poke glared at Ray, "I'm not scared asshole, I just don't want to make it worse for them."

"Well if makes you feel better I can go in first and make sure it's OK before you guys come in." Ray offered.

Mike and Poke nodded their agreement that they would prefer to check in first.

Ray quietly let himself into Brad's room hearing the familiar sounds of the ventilator and the heart monitor. Ray smiled at Walt who was holding Brad's hand as Nate dozed against Walt's arm. "How's it going?" Ray whispered.

Walt smiled, "Nate finally gave in to his exhaustion. Brad's had two more short seizures but otherwise everything is OK. Where's Poke and Mike?"

Brad's eyes opened slowly as he heard them talking. He reached for Ray's hand. Ray carefully took the hand with the IV and kissed it softly. "Hey Brad. How are you feeling?"

Brad frowned a little around the ET-tube.  Ray chuckled, "kinda shitty, got it. Mike and Poke are in the hall they didn't want to come in if it was going to be too much for Brad."

Walt chuckled, "well that was nice of them. Do you want them to come in Brad, or do you want to wait until tomorrow?"

Brad made a motion like he was writing. Walt grabbed the notebook and pen from the table next to him, before helping Brad get situated to write.  _They can come in if they want. Can you make sure Nate goes home to rest tonight?_ Brad wrote out shakily but clearly expressing his thoughts.

Ray smiled, "I'll grab them and yes we'll make sure he comes home with us.  Walt was planning on staying with you, if that's ok."

Brad gave a small nod. Ray kissed his forehead before he stepped out to retrieve Mike and Tony.

"Ok he's fine with you both coming in to see him. They are doing an EEG to monitor his seizure activity so he's got electrodes stuck to his head.  There's a tube in his mouth going into his throat to help him breathe. He can breathe without it but they want to make sure he keeps breathing if he has another seizure. He was apparently struggling after the first one today." Ray paused, "they do have him hooked up to his g-tube so he's still getting the calories he needs, so don't be shocked if you see the tube coming out from under the blankets.  He's also got a catheter that you'll see evidence of on the side of his bed. That being said he's a little groggy and uncomfortable but he is looking forward to company.  We have also been tasked with making Nate go home with us tonight so this visit could get interesting very quickly."

 Mike chuckled darkly, "that should be fun. Do you think Nate will go with it or put up a fight?"

Ray rolled his eyes, "it's Nate you don't actually expect him to cave easily. That's what you guys are for, you're my back up."

Poke laughed, "great you're planning on using us as cannon fodder."

Ray smiled, "good idea... Actually I'm planning on letting Walt blackmail him if need be, but seriously he's exhausted and needs food, sleep, and to fucking relax for a night. Also Brad asked us to make it happen and if his semiconscious ass can see Nate needs it we've gone past Nate's breaking point.  He's been staying with Brad everyday and night, he's only eating regularly because Brad has been. He works from his computer when Brad's sleeping. He just needs a rest and without us forcing it he's going to collapse from exhaustion before it happens."

Mike nodded, " well let's go spend some time with everyone and then get Nate the break we all think he needs."

Ray led them into Brad's room. Nate was still asleep against Walt's arm, but Brad was awake.  He half smiled and gave a small wave.

 Mike smiled, "looking good Brad."

Brad rolled his eyes and wrote  _don't lie Gunny._

Poke laughed, "he's not kidding Brad you're looking good. A little worn out, but otherwise good."

 Brad half smiled at them  and tried to shift around to get more comfortable. 

Mike chuckled, " I don't know Brad, I feel like we've done this before."

Brad smiled and was trying not to laugh which made him get out of synch with the vent and which made him choke a little against the tube.  Nate startled awake immediately checking on Brad before registering that they had company.  Brad settled quickly before Nate could get too stressed. Mike looked slightly guilty.

"What did you do? Nate asked. 

"We accidentally made Brad laugh..." Mike trailed off.

Nate sighed, "please don't make him choke. I like him breathing, thanks."

Ray snickered, "I can't take you guys anywhere."

 Brad rolled his eyes at all of them, as he drifted back to sleep trusting that Mike, Poke, Ray, and Walt would take care of everything with Nate.

....

Brad started awake to Nate quietly putting up a fight about going home. 

"Nate you're exhausted. You need a night of solid rest and it won't  happen here." Ray stated quietly.

"I need to be here. What if something happens?  What if they need something authorized for treatment?" Nate countered.

"So Walt will call and we can bring you back or you can approve it over the phone." Mike rebutted.  "Kid you are dead on your feet. Do you realize we were in here almost 10 minutes before you shot awake to Brad's coughing."

Nate scowled, " I'm fine. I don't need to leave.  Brad needs me here."

Nate jolted as a piece of crumpled paper bounced off the back of his head, he turned to glare only to see Brad looking upset behind him pointing at the ball of paper.  Nate picked it up and opened it reading Brad's shaky scrawl. 

_Nate go home and rest you need it. I'm ok. Walt will stay. I don't want you to make yourself sick._

Nate looked disbelievingly at Brad, "what if you need me and I'm not here?"

Brad half smiled around the tube and wrote,  _Walt has your number. He will call if I need you. It's ok for you to go home and get some actual rest. You look more exhausted than me._

 Nate's shoulders slumped as he looked at Brad seeing the concern in his eyes. Brad reached for Nate's hand. He walked over and took it, "are you sure?"

Brad looked at Nate and nodded slightly as he squeezed Nate's hand reassuringly. Nate nodded, "OK I'll go home with them tonight if it will make you feel better, but I don't like leaving you."

Brad half smiled before writing  _I don't like it either but you NEED a break. I love you Nate and I don't like seeing you kill yourself trying to be everywhere at once._ _  
_

Nate gently kissed Brad's forehead whispering, " you win, I love you too Brad, which is why I hate leaving."

"Alright not to break up this sappy good-night but Nate we need to get going.  You need to eat and then we are going to make you relax." Ray commented.  

Brad squeezed Nate's hand before letting go and writing,  _have a good night.  Nate enjoy yourself tonight.  I love you and I will see you tomorrow._

Nate kissed Brad's forehead, "I'll try to have a good night. I love you too.  Get some rest tonight."

Mike, Poke and Ray wished Brad and Walt a good night before shepherding Nate out the door. 

Walt called, "Ray come here a minute."

Ray turned and came back to Walt, "what do you need?"

"Stop by Brad's room and take the dirty laundry bag home to wash please." Walt whispered.

Ray nodded understanding Walt's desire to eliminate as many stress triggers for Nate as possible. Ray kissed Walt, "love you.  We'll be back around lunch time tomorrow as long as things stay ok here."

Walt smiled, "good.  See you tomorrow.  Love you too."

Brad reached for Walt after everyone left.  Walt sat back down and took Brad's hand. "Just you and me now.  I hope you're ok with that." Walt stated.

Brad rolled his eyes and squeezed Walt's hand.  _I'm happy you're still here.  I love you too you know._ Brad wrote carefully.

Walt kissed the back of Brad's hand smiling. "I love you too. Do you want me to read to you?"

Brad nodded slightly as Walt picked up the book they were working on and started to read.  After about 20 minutes Brad made a choking noise as his body tensed.  Walt took one look at Brad and hit the call button before he carefully rolled Brad on his side gently holding him there so he wouldn't choke on the vomit sliding out the corner of his mouth as he seized.  

"It's ok Brad.  I'm here you're not alone Love." Walt spoke softly reassuring Brad.

Dr. Michaels and his team came in and took over for Walt.  As Dr. Michaels loaded new meds into Brad's IV he asked Walt, "how long has he been seizing?"

"Less than 5 minutes but this seems like a stronger seizure than the other two." Walt answered.

"This one is presenting very similar to his first seizure this morning." Dr. Michaels observed as he watch Brad's body start to still.  "We're going to need to change him so if you would like to step out into the hall."

Walt looked at Dr. Michaels, "I'm most likely going to be his primary care provider when we leave the hospital and Nate goes back to work full-time.  Can you start to show me how to help take care of him after a seizure like this?"

Dr. Michaels paused thoughtfully, "alright I can show you how we do this. The first thing we're going to do is suction out his mouth so that we don't have to worry about him breathing in the vomit.  He's not fully conscious but I like to talk to my patients as I take care of them.  It helps to keep them calm." Walt nodded. "Ok Brad I'm going to suction your mouth out. You had a seizure but you are ok." Dr. Michaels kept talking to Brad and walking Walt through how to thoroughly suction him and then gently wiped his mouth and neck clean. "Walt the next thing we're going to do is check him over and see if he needs to be changed.  Are you sure you want to help with this part?"  

Walt looked at Brad and nodded, "yeah. I want to be able to help him with anything he could need."

Walt helped Dr. Michaels get Brad on his back and then pulled the blankets down as they checked the adult diaper and catheter, changing him and wiping him clean.  Brad started to move around and show signs of waking as they began to cover him back up.  "Brad it's ok you had a seizure.  You're doing well.  Can you open your eyes for me?" Dr. Michaels instructed.

Brad's eyes opened sluggishly looking around disoriented.  He flung his right arm out to push them away.  Walt caught his arm before he could hit it on the railing.

"Brad it's ok.  You're safe. Relax Love."  Walt murmured as he stroked Brad's cheek.   

Brad's eyes slowly tracked toward Walt as he started to calm down, awareness sinking in.  Brad blinked sluggishly trying to focus on Walt and Dr. Michaels who was preparing to check Brad's pupil response.  Brad tried to jerk his head away as the light shone into his eyes.  Dr. Michaels held his head still as he continued to check Brad's pupil response. "Ok.  Brad, Walt everything looks good.  I'm going to adjust your meds slightly and hopefully this will be the last seizure."  

Walt nodded as Brad's eyes slipped shut and he fell asleep. "How's his breathing?"  

"He did well getting back on track after the seizure.  He was a little rough during the seizure but he did keep breathing. As long as his sats stay in this range we are still planning on taking him off the ventilator either later tonight or early tomorrow morning.  I want to make sure that he gets enough rest tonight which will also help with curbing the seizure activity." Dr Michaels paused, "Do you have any other questions or need anything?"

"No we're good. I'm sure Brad's going to sleep for a while and I think a nap sounds like a plan.  Will it be ok to lay down with him if he gets agitated?" Walt inquired.

"As long as he doesn't have another seizure and you are able to do it without unseating any of the equipment it will be just fine, especially if it will keep him calm and relaxed." Dr. Michaels confirmed.

Walt smiled as Dr. Michaels left them alone, carefully taking Brad's hand so he would know he wasn't alone.

....

Nate nodded off in the passengers seat on the drive home. They stopped at the store for groceries Poke stayed in the car with Nate, keeping watch as he slept.  

Ray looked at Mike as they shopped for groceries, "well Gunny, that went better than I expected."

Mike chuckled, " Brad being the one to guilt him into going was a shock."

"Nah Brad's used to Nate pulling this and he knew we were in a fight we'd lose if he didn't intervene. Brad would put the LT's well-being ahead of anything he wanted." Ray stated confidently, "and Nate would do anything to make Brad feel better even when he doesn't like it.  Also with Brad's seizures today he won't risk stressing him out and triggering one.  So for once their self sacrificing streaks worked to our advantage."

Mike shook his head, " if they knew how well you could play them..."

Ray laughed, " what can I say it's a gift."

 Mike rolled his eyes, "Well lets check out and get Nate home and fed."

"You got it Gunny." Ray replied.

When they pulled into the driveway Poke and Mike unloaded the car while Ray carefully woke Nate.

Nate startled, "where are we?"

Ray chuckled, "we're home Nate.  Mike's getting groceries put away and starting dinner with Poke's help.  I've been charged with doing laundry and showing you the house remodel that we've mostly finished.  We just need to lay the treads on the ramp and finish the bathroom work.  Also you have until dinner is ready to finish up your work before you will be banned from all activity that is not sleeping, eating or relaxing, so we should get a move on."

Nate shook his head smirking, "Wow, you should have been an officer."

"Aw LT, no need to get derogatory." Ray scoffed reaching a hand out to help Nate up. "So what do you want to do first see the progress on the remodel or work?"

"Work, it should only take me a few minutes to email my report for the conference coming up for review and then I should be finished with it unless they need anything adjusted before we present.  Once that's taken care of I shouldn't need to work on anything else and should be able to comply with your order to relax." Nate replied with a genuine smile. "Ray thanks for demanding I take a break."

Ray threw an arm around Nate's shoulder, "you get so focused on everything else that you forget how important you are, so sometimes we need to make you take a time out."

Nate looked at the house his mouth falling open taking in the ramp for the first time.   "Wow.  It looks amazing. You guys did a great job." 

"Come on Nate, let's get inside.  You can finish your work and then we'll show you the rest of the remodeling that's been finished." Ray paused, "Once that's done we'll eat and then chill maybe watch a movie or something..." Ray grinned, "Once we've got you all relaxed I'll put you to bed and in the morning we'll make breakfast and then get your hair cut.  Just so you know we won't be going back before lunch unless we have to ."

Nate smiled and shook his head following Ray into the house.

....

Nate was tired but he couldn't sleep.  The night with the guys had been fun and a much needed break. He was in awe of the amount of work they had done on his and Brad's behalf and was almost overwhelmed with love and gratitude for their friends.  He felt the buzz of alcohol flow through his veins, work was done, but the house was quiet, the room still and empty.  Nate paced the floor missing Brad and wishing that he was wrapped around him in their bed safe and warm.  Nate jumped as his bedroom door opened silently revealing Ray standing in his doorway with nothing but his sweat pants on, his tattoos in stark relief against his skin.  Nate smiled and waved him into the room indicating for him to close the door.

Ray walked silently over to Nate and wrapped his arms around him, "What's keeping you up?"

"Nothing... Everything... I don't know.  It's too quiet.  The bed's too empty. I miss them."  Nate rattled off.

Ray walked them toward the bed pulling back the blankets and sitting Nate down, "Come on lay down.  I'll stay with you we can just keep each other company.  I miss having them home too."

Nate lay down patting the side next to him, "You lay down too Ray, we're both exhausted."

Ray flopped down next to him, and threw an arm over Nate's waist. "So what's on your mind?  Worried about work or Brad?"

"Both I guess.  I was really looking forward to the conference I've been setting up the presentation for next week, but with Brad having seizures I don't think I'm going to be able to go." Nate trailed off.

Ray frowned slightly. "Nate, your work needs you to go.  You want to go.  It's only going to be an overnight trip.  Walt and I can handle taking care of Brad you could even have Walt listed as his point of contact for emergency treatment while you're gone.  It's not like we wouldn't consult you if something serious happened."

Nate sighed heavily, "I know work needs me to do this, I've been the one putting this presentation together in my down time with Brad, but if he's not stable I don't feel comfortable leaving him.  I know you and Walt can take care of him and if I do go Walt will be the point of contact for any emergencies.  I trust both of you to take care of him..."

Ray smiled against Nate's neck, "LT, you're getting ready to go back to work at least part-time soon.  Brad's been doing really well with his recovery even though there have been some setbacks.  We both have work that is starting to need us more.  Walt is in school online, he has the most flexibility and he wants to help Brad.  He's excited about the possibility of being a care provider for Brad.  Also think about the fact that it would allow you to reconnect with your husband as his partner and spouse not just a care provider.  I know you both love each other more than anything but I also know this has been so hard on both of you and if we can help you guys get a break from the stress and just let you enjoy one another again that's a good thing too."

Nate half smiled, "you make a fair point Ray.  Honestly tonight really made me see how much I needed a break and to take a step back and let you both help not just with things around the house but with Brad too.  You both love him just as much as I do and you deserve to participate in this process too."

Ray kissed Nate softly, "Brad's not the only person we love that much.  We love you just as much and you need to remember we are all in this together.  We are a team Nate."

Nate smiled ruefully before kissing Ray back. "I know we're a team.  I just don't know how to step back especially when he's so vulnerable, but I am working on it."

Nate yawned and his body started to relax as Ray's warmth started to seep into his.  Ray pulled Nate closer, "Sleep Nate we have a busy morning tomorrow."

Nate and Ray's breathing synched and slowed as they drifted to sleep together, both hoping for a quiet night.


	19. Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little slow and was kind of frustrating me. I promise the next chapter will be a little longer and more involved. Sorry the updates have been a little lacking things here have been crazy with work and hospital visits hoping as things settle back down that I'll have more time. Hope everyone is still enjoying this story. Have a good night all.

Chapter 19: Relief

Nate woke instantly to the sun shining through the window. He instinctively reached for his phone, startled that it was 1000. He hadn't slept that long in months. His heart started to race as he saw he had multiple text messages from Walt. He shakily unlocked his phone and opened the first text which was sent at 2300.  It was a picture of Brad sleeping next to Walt with an oxygen mask on with the caption.   _He's been taken off the vent and is resting well no trouble breathing the oxygen is just a precaution no seizures since the one shortly after you went home :)_

The tension started to leave Nate's body as he opened the next message sent at 0730.  _He's officially 13 hours seizure free and off the oxygen mask.  We're doing fine. Brad says good morning and wants you to know he's hungry._

The next message was sent at 0830 a picture of Brad eating his breakfast and flipping Walt the bird for taking the picture. _Mission accomplished Brad's been fed. If he stays seizure free he'll be moved back over to rehab before dinner._

Nate looked at the picture and laughed Ray tensed around Nate before hoarsely asking "what's so funny?"

Nate scrolled back up the message feed and handed the phone to Ray who quickly read through everything laughing out loud at the last picture, "fuck that is so Brad. I'm glad he had a good night. Did you sleep OK?"

 "Better than I have in a while." Nate replied with a rueful grin. 

Ray leaned into Nate and kissed him softly. "We should get up, and get ready.  It's time for breakfast if the smell from the kitchen is any indication.  You have an 1130 with your barber so you can get in line with the grooming standard before you have your presentation."

Nate kissed Ray back as he chuckled, running his hands through his hair, "yeah it's a little on the shaggy side."

They got up and ready before heading to the kitchen.

"Mike, breakfast smells amazing." Nate commented.

Mike set a plate down in front of Nate.  "It tastes better than it smells so eat up."

"So any word on how the boys are doing at the hospital?" Poke asked.

Nate opened his phone and the texts from Walt and slid it over to Poke and Mike as he continued to eat.

Both started laughing at the last picture "Looks like Brad's feeling better." Mike observed.

 ....

A while after Brad finished his breakfast he smiled at Walt.  "Will you come lay down with me?"

"Sure, are you feeling ok?" Walt asked as he gently cupped Brad's cheek.

Brad nodded, "yeah I just want to be closer to you."

Walt carefully climbed onto the bed avoiding the wires from the monitors, IV's, feeding tube and catheter.  He settled next to Brad as he wrapped an arm around him. "Ok Love what's going on in your head?"

"I'm ok.  I just want to gget back to therapy." Brad paused, "I wwant to feel better and I don't want to have anymore seizures."

Walt kissed Brad gently, "It's ok to be frustrated, even scared or upset."

"Did I scare you yesterday?" Brad asked hoarsely.

Walt sighed, "honestly a little, but it's only because I don't like seeing you hurt or sick.  Were you scared?"

Brad looked away, "I was confused and a little scared before and after, but having you and Nate there helped. I knew with one of you there I was safe."

Walt kissed Brad again, "We love you Brad and no matter what we will be there with you.  I'm hoping that the new meds will help keep the seizures in check." He held Brad a little tighter, "so far you have been seizure free for more than 15 hours so it's a step in the right direction."

Brad rested his head against Walt's shoulder content to just be close. "So when do you think I can get out of ICU?"

Walt smiled, "Well as soon as they remove the EEG, heart monitor, IV, and catheter I've got your clothes to get you out of the gown. Dr. Michael's said that he would make the call after lunch as long as you don't have anymore serious seizures."

"What time is it?" Brad inquired.

Walt checked his watch, "1130 so almost lunch time."

Brad chuckled, "nnever thought I'd want to get back in my wheelchair but I want to get up and move around."

The door opened and they brought in Brad's lunch.  Walt hopped off the bed so Brad could eat easier.  After lunch Marcie came in so she could unhook Brad from the monitors.  Brad smiled, "Hi Mmarcie."

"Hey Brad looking good.  Are you ready to be free of the monitors?" Marcie replied with a smile.

 "Yes. I want to get dressed and out of ICU." Brad stated emphatically. 

Marcie chuckled, "you'll be able to get dressed but we're going to be keeping you here for a little longer. Don't worry though I picked up your chair from your room so when we send you back to rehab we have your ride ready."

Brad sighed, "Ok. My head itches."

"It's from the wax we used to secure the electrodes to your scalp. You'll be able to take a bath tonight and wash it off." Marcie answered as she removed the electrodes and wiped away as much of the wax as she could.

Once everything thing was removed and his feeding tube was capped Marcie asked, "do you need help getting dressed?"

Brad nodded still feeling a little unsteady.

Walt and Marcie helped Brad sit on the side of his bed. Marcie helped steady Brad as he and Walt worked on getting him dressed.

Walt leaned Brad against his shoulder as he pulled up his underwear and track pants. As he sat Brad back down Marcie made sure Brad was stable as Walt slid up the pants legs putting on socks and then the AFOs. Brad took care of getting his T-shirt on.  Once he was dressed they helped him get settled back in bed.

After Marcie left Brad asked, "can we play cards or something? I'm bored."

Walt smiled pulling the cards out of the same bag he had the clothes in. "Sure can." Walt answered as he pulled the small rolling table over across Brad's lap and started to shuffle the cards.

This is how Mike, Nate, Poke, and Ray found them, playing cards waiting for Brad to be sent back to rehab.

 Brad and Walt's heads snapped toward the door as they heard it open smiles spreading across their faces as the saw who it was.

"Looks like you're ready to bust out of here." Mike commented with a grin.

Brad gave a small laugh, "I'm gone as soon as they say so."

As if in response to Brad's statement Dr. Michaels opened the door with Marcie following pushing Brad's wheelchair.  Brad smiled, "does this mmean I'm getting out of here?"

Dr. Michaels smiled, "Yep we're sending you back over to rehab.  All your tests look good and it looks as though the new medication is working.  I'm going to give you a final once over and then Marcie will escort you gentlemen back over to rehab.  As long as you're still doing well we'll start you back at therapy on Monday."

Brad nodded as he looked toward Nate. "Ok well let's do what we need to I want to go outside."

Dr. Michaels asked everyone but Nate to step outside while he evaluated Brad.  Once that was done Nate helped Brad into his wheelchair before buckling him in.  Marcie asked Nate, "do you want to push him or would you like me to?"

Nate kissed the top of Brad's head, "I want to push him back to his room if that's ok?"

Marcie nodded, "I guessed you would.  I'll still be walking with you back over to make sure it's a smooth transfer and that his new nurses are aware of the changes in medications."

They followed Marcie out of the room, Mike, Poke, Ray and Walt falling in line with them as they headed back to Brad's room.  Once Brad was settled back in his room everyone got comfortable. "What do you want for dinner tonight Brad if you could have anything?" Ray asked.

Brad grinned, " a burger."

Poke laughed, "you could have anything and you want a burger?"

Brad arched an eyebrow, "I haven't had a burger good or otherwise in more than a year."

Ray nodded, "I know exactly where we're going to get it.  Mike, Poke you'll be going with me to get food for everyone." He paused looking at Brad, Nate and Walt, "you guys all want the usual?"

They all nodded their agreement.  Brad looked back at Nate, "while they're getting food can I get cleaned up?  My head itches from the shit they used for the EEG."

Nate smiled, "sure we'll get you cleaned up.  Ray how long do you think it's going to take to get food?"

Ray shrugged, "half hour 45 minutes.  Do you want us to get the food and then set up dinner outside at our normal table?"

Brad answered, "sounds perfect."

After Poke, Ray and Mike headed out Nate pushed Brad into the bathroom where Walt had run the bath while they finished working out plans.  Brad pulled his shirt off as Nate locked the breaks on the chair.  Nate knelt down and removed Brad's shoes, AFO's and socks before helping Brad stand up.  As Nate held him up Walt quickly stripped off his pants and underwear before standing up and providing support for Brad on the opposite side of Nate.  They carefully walked him to the bathtub and helped him in.  Brad sighed in contentment as he was engulfed in the hot water.  They let Brad relax for a few minutes before Walt asked, "would you two like to be alone?  I can step out until you need me to help get him back in his chair."

Brad and Nate both rolled their eyes. "No Walt you can stay.  I want to start showing you how to help him for when I'm not here." Nate replied.

Brad arched his eyebrow at Nate. "Good, this means you're going to that conference next week."

Nate looked back at Brad, "I didn't say that, it will depend on how things are here."

Brad rolled his eyes, "Nate it's one night and don't think I'm not aware of how hard you've been working on that presentation.  You are going, I will be fine here with Walt and Ray."

Walt smiled as Nate stared at Brad, "Ok Brad, as long as you're ok with it I'll go."

Brad laughed, "I wwant you to go Nate.  You deserve to see this project through to the end.  I'll make sure we call and text you as much as we can."

Walt smiled, "We'll be fine Nate especially if you keep teaching me how to best help out here."

Walt handed Nate the washcloth and bar of soap.  Nate got it wet and soaped the cloth, "Do you want to try washing yourself or do you want me to?"

Brad reached a slightly shaky hand to take the cloth. He washed his arms and chest before handing the cloth back to Nate.  Nate carefully washed his legs before Walt helped him sit forward as Nate washed his back.  Brad tilted his head back as Walt carefully wet Brad's hair.  Nate rubbed the shampoo between his hands before gently scrubbing Brad's hair.  Brad groaned in pleasure as Nate's blunt nails scraped against his scalp.  Walt rinsed the shampoo out as Brad relaxed in the tub.  

Brad opened content eyes as he studied Nate. "You look better.  The night away helped."  Brad reached up and ran his fingers through Nate's hair, "I like the cut.  You were getting pretty shaggy there for a while"

Nate smiled as he kissed Brad's hand, "are you ready to get out of the bathtub?"

Brad nodded, as Walt pulled the drain and grabbed a towel. Walt and Nate lifted him into a standing position.  Nate stabilized him as Walt wrapped him in the towel.  They helped him out of the tub and then dry off.  They let him sit on the toilet as they helped him get dressed.  Once he was ready they helped him back into his chair.  

Brad sighed content, "I feel much better now.  Thank you."  

Brad kissed them both. Nate ran his fingers through Brad's hair. "Ready to go outside?"

He smiled, "Yes.  I'm getting hungry."

Walt laughed as he pushed Brad out toward the picnic tables with Nate walking alongside Brad all of them content that things were looking up.


	20. Progress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nate's out of town for work and Brad makes some big strides. Also there is talk of a day pass for Brad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated lately so I tried to give a longer update. I'm desperately wanting life to relax a little so I can write more. Hope everyone enjoys the chapter and is well. Thanks for reading.

Chapter 20: Progress

In the week since Brad's seizure set back, the renovations were finished on the house, Poke and Mike had returned home and Nate had just headed out of town for his business trip.  Brad had been handling the medication changes well and hadn't had any further seizures. He was making steady progress in his therapies there was even talk of clearing him from speech therapy in the next week or two. The most important thing to Brad was the talk of a day or even possible weekend pass home at the end of the week.

Walt and Ray helped Brad get ready for PT.  He was pretty excited about getting to spend some time in the pool for therapy today. Once Brad was settled in his chair they decided to go outside for breakfast. It was already warm and sunny and Brad was going a little stir crazy.

Brad started eating his breakfast before pausing, "did you guys grab a change of clothes for after pool therapy?"

Walt chuckled, "yes I have a change of clothes for both you and me." He looked at Ray, "you know he won't get in the pool with you. He's going to record some of your session for Nate."

Brad laughed, "Ray really doesn't like swimming."

Ray glared at Brad. "It's not that I don't like swimming it's that you really like to test the Marine Corps drown proofing."

Brad smiled impishly, " just be glad I don't tie you up before throwing you in."

Ray rolled his eyes, "point. Anyway Nate was really bummed about missing this so I promised we'd record it and send him the video so he could watch later."

Brad nodded and went back to his breakfast. Once they were finished they headed over to the physical therapy department.

 Cody smiled as he saw Brad in his board shorts, T-shirt, AFOs and go fasters. "Hey Brad looks like you're ready for the pool today."

Brad gave a grin, "yep ready when you are."

Cody chuckled, "before we head over to the pool I was wondering if you'd like a little more freedom?"

Brad arched an eye brow as Cody pulled out a new wheelchair that Brad would be able to maneuver on his own. "Thought you might like a new ride.  You're physically ready to not have the extra support and you're strong enough to start getting to move yourself around."

Brad's normally reserved expression lit up at the offer of more independence. "Hell yeah, I want to try it."

 Ray started to record Brad getting to switch wheelchairs and then also recorded him starting to use the wheels to maneuver himself. The thing Ray was most concerned about capturing was the smile that just couldn't be wiped off Brad's face as he figured out his new ride.

When they got to the pool Walt helped Brad remove his shoes, AFOs, socks and T-shirt. Cody got in the pool first as Ray and Walt helped Brad walk over to the edge and sit down.  Walt hopped in next so that he and Cody could safely ease Brad into the water.

They thought Brad's smile was as bright as it could get when he got his new wheelchair but that was proven wrong as he joined them in the water.

"God I've missed this." Brad whispered.

Walt smiled fondly, "yeah I knew you'd be glad to get back in the water."

Cody checked the waterproof bandage covering the peg tube port in his abdomen. "Looks good. Let's get to work."

They worked Brad hard in the pool for an hour. Ray took a picture of Brad and Walt at the end of the session while Brad was floating in the water on his back with his head resting on Walt's shoulder. They were both smiling and looking at each other.  "This was the best therapy session in a long time.  I actually had fun." Brad commented.

Walt kissed the top of his head. "I'm glad you enjoyed it. You did really well today. It's time to get out and get changed. You've got another appointment in a half hour." 

Brad sighed and moved to swim over to side of the pool. Walt stayed close as they moved to the wall. Walt hopped out as Cody stayed with Brad .  Walt and Ray helped lift Brad out as Cody lifted him up.

Ray wrapped a towel around Brad's shivering shoulders before they helped him into his wheelchair. They headed toward the locker room area so they could dry off and change.  Once they were done changing they headed toward Brad's speech therapy appointment.  Brad hadn't stopped smiling between the new wheelchair and getting to swim.  Ray and Walt also couldn't stop smiling basking in Brad's happiness the only thing keeping this from being perfect was Nate's absence.  Ray quickly sent the videos and pictures to Nate knowing he couldn't wait to see them.  As excited as Nate was for his conference he was not happy about being gone overnight. 

By the end of Brad's appointments he was worn out.  Walt ran his fingers through Brad's hair, "you look beat Love, do you want one of us to push you back to your room?"

Brad shook his head, "no I want to do it, but I think I'm going to crash when we get back." 

 They helped Brad into bed, Walt taking off the shoes and AFOs so Brad could rest comfortably. While Brad napped Ray and Walt settled into get some work done.  Ray worked on a new project for one of his clients while Walt worked on finishing a report for one of his classes.

 The Skype icon on Walt's laptop drew his attention he clicked on it accepting Nate's chat. 

Nate smiled, "hey just checking in. How are things going?"

Walt grinned, "well we wore Brad out so he's taking a nap. Did you get the messages from Ray?"

"Yeah he looked so happy with his new wheelchair. I'm sorry I'm missed the pool therapy he was in his element there." Nate mused

 "How's the conference going?" Ray inquired.

"The presentation went well. The Q&A after was interesting, people had a lot of great and engaging questions." Nate paused, " I won't say that I haven't enjoyed being here and working but I think I'm ready to come home.  I feel like I missed things I shouldn't have."

Walt smiled, "Nate we're fine here and yes we miss you too. You do realize that it's ok for you to be happy about a job well done and disappointed that you couldn't be in two places at once. You know he understands about keeping commitments and that he fully supported you keeping yours."

Nate a self deprecating smile, "I know I just wish I could be in both places.  Speaking of did you guys send those messages to his parents they'd love to see them, especially since they had to head back home."

Ray picked up his phone and quickly sent Brad's parents an email with the videos and pictures he took today. "I did now."

Brad murmured sleepily, "who are you talking to?"

Walt and Ray jerked startled before getting up and bringing the laptop over to Brad's bed so he could join the conversation if he wanted.

Brad smiled sleepily at Nate, "hi."

Nate grinned back, "hi, I hear you had a busy day."

Brad yawned and pushed himself up a little more so he could see the screen easier. "Yeah but it was fun. I can't wait to show you my new wheels. I finally can do more for myself."

Nate smiled, "I'm sorry I missed it, but I'm glad you had fun.  How was the pool?"

"Liberating. It's so much easier to do things like walking in the pool. My balance and stiffness doesn't matter as much..." Brad trailed off his eyes blinking slowly.

Walt gently ran his fingers through Brad's hair as Brad drifted back off to sleep.  Nate smiled fondly, "sleep well Love."

Walt smiled at Nate, "he did so well with the pool therapy.  He really only needed help getting in and out of the pool.  Oh we have great news, Brad will be released from speech therapy next week."

Nate grinned, "that's great news, any word on the day or weekend pass?"

"Dr. Michaels said that he's doing well enough for the weekend pass.  We haven't told him yet so you can give him the good news when you get back in the morning." Ray answered happily.

Nate nodded, "ok well I'll be back by 0900 tomorrow and we'll surprise him with the good news tomorrow.  When do we get to take him with us?"

Walt replied, "We can leave after therapy tomorrow and he doesn't need to be back until Sunday 1800."

Nate smiled, "great.  I have to get back to work I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Ray and Walt grinned, "have a good-night Nate we'll see you in the morning."

....

Brad woke just before dinner, "can we go for a walk?"

Walt nodded as he moved Brad's wheelchair over so he could get in it.  Brad did the transfer by himself for the first time which made him smile. Ray handed him his go fasters letting him take a break from wearing the AFO's.  Brad pulled his shoes on before settling himself more comfortably in his chair.  "Ok lets go." Brad stated before pushing himself toward the door.

The second they got outside Brad's shoulders relaxed. "I'm so sick of being in the hospital.  I want to go home."

Ray squeezed Brad's shoulder.  "I know Brad I wish we could take you home too."

Walt looked at Brad, "if you could have anything for dinner tonight what would it be?"

"Anything that's not hospital food." Brad quipped.

Ray smirked, "so if I hopped in the car and went to get burgers and fries you'd be good with that?"

Brad parked under a tree next to a bench and looked expectantly at Ray. "Well what are you waiting for?" 

Ray laughed, "ok ok Iceman I'm going.  Will you two be here when I get back?"

Walt smiled as he sat next to Brad, "yep we'll be here."

By the time Ray came back with food Brad and Walt were sitting at the nearby picnic table playing cards both laughing.

Ray grinned, "so you guys wait to have fun until I leave.  I see how you are."

Brad smirked, "deal the man in Walt he brought food."

Ray doled out the food and drinks as Walt dealt out the cards.

They ate and relaxed for a while before heading back to Brad's room to start his night time routine.

....

Nate walked into Brad's room as he was eating breakfast.  Brad grinned and pushed himself back and spun around as he showed off his new wheelchair to Nate.

Nate gave him an appreciative once over before leaning in and kissing him. "Looking good Love."

Brad pulled Nate close kissing him back, "welcome back.  I missed you."

Nate rested his head against the top of Brad's, "I missed you too.  So what do you want to do this weekend?"

Brad arched an eyebrow, "does it matter?  It's not like we're going to be able to go anywhere."

Nate smiled, "well we'll see what we can do to keep you entertained."

Ray looked at the clock, "Brad you need to get to therapy you've only got one session each so it's a short day."

Brad rolled his eyes and Nate sighed. "I'm going with Brad to therapy you guys see if you can come up with some ideas to keep him busy this weekend."

Walt grinned, "you got it LT we'll make sure we're ready when you get back."

As soon as Nate and Brad left for his therapy Ray and Walt got the laundry bag and other things that they'd need for the weekend packed up and loaded in the car so they could leave as soon as Brad was finished with his appointments for the day.

They met Nate and Brad at the PT room just in time for the end of his session. Walt stood in front of Brad so he couldn't head out the door while Ray blindfolded him and Nate started to push him toward the door.  

Cody laughed as Brad looked confused and irritated, "Have a good weekend Brad see you Monday."

Brad grumbled, "Ray why in the hell are you blindfolding me?"

"We've got a big surprise for you so it's necessary.  Just relax and go with it." Ray stated.

Brad sighed, "I don't like surprises.  You know that right."

Walt laughed, "you'll like this one Brad I promise.  Now trust us and do as the man says relax and go with it."

Nate kissed the top of Brad's head, "let's go gents we've got a plan to execute."

They got him out of the hospital and into the car.

"Where are we going?  Does Dr. Michaels know you're kidnapping me?" Brad demanded.

Nate laughed, "I'm not telling. I want to see the look on your face and of course Dr. Michaels knows we've got you he's the one who approved this little outing."

Nate parked carefully in their driveway as Ray and Walt hopped out and pulled out Brad's wheelchair so they could get him out of the car. Nate grabbed Brad's hand away from his face, "Brad leave that there, trust us to take care of you just a little longer."

Brad scowled, "fine but I want this blindfold off soon.  What are you guys hiding?"

Nate got out of the car and helped Brad transfer out of the car seat into his wheelchair.  Once Brad was settled Nate kissed the back of his neck softly.  "Close your eyes Love." Nate whispered before taking off the blindfold as he turned Brad toward the house.  


	21. A Pleasant Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brad gets to go home for the weekend and gets a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update real life has been impossible the last two weeks. As an apology for the delay I tried to give a much longer chapter. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 21: A Pleasant Surprise

 Brad sat in their driveway looking in shock at their home. He took in the new ramp leading up to the door, it was stained cherry to match the wood detailing of the house and had black no slip treads lining the way.  He looked for other changes fully aware that he hadn't been here in almost a year and a half.  Brad was slightly overwhelmed seeing the evidence of how their lives had changed but was also touched by the love and care that went into the building of the ramp. Brad turned in his chair to face them and whispered, "when did you guys have time to do this?"

Ray and Walt grinned at each other. "We did it when Poke and Mike were here." Ray started. "Do you like it? We wanted to make sure you could do as much for yourself as easily as possible..."Walt trailed off.

Brad smiled softly, " I can't begin to tell you what that means to me and thank you just doesn't seem like enough."

Ray and Walt just shrugged.  " Brad, you don't need to thank us.  We want you home as soon as possible and if the adjustments we made to the house help make it happen faster it was a no brainer."Ray answered.

Nate smiled as he watched them thinking about how much they all wanted Brad home and how much easier these changes would make things. "Hey we should head inside so he can see the rest of your hard work."

 Brad looked at Nate, "there's more?"

Nate smiled and kissed him gently, "they've been quite busy and really can't wait for you to look around."

Ray and Walt had headed up the ramp to open the door before Ray called, come on LT, Iceman we're burning daylight here."

Nate and Brad laughed as Brad maneuvered himself up the ramp towards the door. "OK we're coming." Nate called back.

Brad froze just inside the doorway as he looked around the living room. The coffee table was gone, smaller end tables in it's place. He observed that he could turn with ease anywhere in the room. Brad noted he could easily reach the TV to turn it or the stereo on without the remotes. He smiled as he moved on to the kitchen noticing again that the flooring change from the wood to the stone tile was seamless, they had taken out the piece of moulding that had covered the seams and smoothed them out.  As he moved into the kitchen the only change he noted was the cabinet under the sink had been removed so he could easily roll under it. He kept moving silently through the house until he got to the bedrooms and main bathroom. The doors were different sliding into the frame and wall rather than opening in either direction.

Walt squeezed Brad's shoulder and kissed the back of his neck. "They're pocket doors that slide into the wall so they don't take up any space in the doorways or the rooms so you can move around without getting stuck or having to have anyone with you when you just want some privacy."

Brad leaned into Walt's touch before looking up at him smiling, "thank you guys for thinking of that and doing all this.  I still can't believe you got it done so quickly."

Walt kissed him softly, "we want you home Brad and this will help it be easier and safer for you to be home.  Thanks isn't necessary but you're welcome."

 Brad wheeled himself into the bedroom and started to check out the master bathroom he grinned at them before sliding the door closed.  They smiled and Nate called out "whenever you're done we're going to go start making lunch."

They couldn't hear Brad moving around but he called back, "ok, what's for lunch?"

"What do you want?" Walt asked.

"Tacos." Brad answered before turning his attention away from everyone else and just taking in the changes.  He could go to the bathroom by himself for a change which made him smile.  He rolled over to the shower and pulled back the curtain wheeling himself inside.  There was a bench against the wall that he stopped next to locking his wheels and preparing to transfer from his chair to the bench. There were also safety bars along the wall that he was able to use to stand. Once the transfer was completed he sat fully clothed in the shower just enjoying the solitude. It had been more than 6 months since he had time to himself and he craved the solitude and freedom almost as much as he wanted the company of his family.  After about 15 minutes Brad transferred back to his wheelchair and headed out to join everyone in the kitchen.

Ray grinned as Brad parked at the table looking out the door toward the deck. "I take it you liked the changes in the bathroom." Ray quipped.

Brad smiled," yes I can finally have some privacy.  Thank you guys for all your hard work doing this.  I just don't know what to say."

Ray gave Brad a quick kiss, "your smile and safety are thanks enough. So what do you want to do after lunch?"

"I don't know.  When do I have to go back to the hospital?" Brad inquired sounding resigned.

"1800." Nate paused grinning. "On Sunday."

Brad blinked stunned. "Sunday?"

"Yep we get to keep you for the weekend." Nate declared.

Brad grinned, "I want to stretch out in the living room with all of you and watch movies.  Can we grill and eat outside tonight on the deck?"

Walt laughed, "you got it movies and dinner al fresco." 

After lunch Ray and Walt were sprawled together on the couch while Brad sat sprawled out in front of them on the floor Nate's head in his lap watching movies.  Brad lay his head back against Walt's stomach as Nate drifted to sleep against his thigh.  Brad relished the lack of noise, he could hear Nate's soft breathing in the background over the movie. Walt kept running his fingers lightly through Brad's hair while Ray rubbed circles with his thumb along Brad's neck and shoulder as they all just enjoyed each others company.  Brad dozed lightly  as Walt continued to pet his head. An explosion in the movie woke Brad but Nate only buried his face in Brad's thigh as he slept on oblivious to everything. 

Ray gently rubbed Brad's shoulder, "it was just the movie."

Brad's breathing slowed and he relaxed turning his attention back to the T.V. "I know, it was just a little too in line with my dreams."

Walt softly scratched his nails along Brad's scalp as he stroked his hair, "do you want a different movie?"

Brad chuckled quietly leaning into their touches, "no I like the movie I just need to not nap during it."

Ray looked at Nate sleeping on Brad's thigh and snickered.  "Man the LT is dead to the world."

Brad ran his fingers over Nate's hair, "yeah I think he's still been trying to be in too many places and do too many things lately.  I can't wait to be home for good so he can stop trying to be two places at once and actually get some rest."

Ray snorted and nodded in agreement, "he has a tendency to bypass burning the candle at both end and just torches the bitch in the microwave."

Brad's shoulders shook with silent laughter, "well he wouldn't be Nate if he wasn't an insane overachiever."

Walt chuckled, "yeah but we love him anyway.  Sometimes we just need to remind him that he's only human and there really is a limit to what his body can take before it shuts down against his will."

Brad smiled fondly at Nate agreeing with Walt's assessment. 

Walt looked at Brad concerned, "are you comfortable down there or do you want the couch?"

Brad half smiled, "I'm fine here.  I like getting to stretch out a little and not be in my wheelchair for a bit.  It's nice to just sit on the floor for a while."

Walt kissed the top of Brad's head, "just let us know if you need to move."

Brad rolled his eyes as he teased, "yes mom."

Halfway through the movie Brad started to rub his left forearm and hand.  Walt watched quietly before reaching for his bag on the end of the couch and pulling out Brad's brace. He stroked the back of Brad's head and asked softly, "do you want your brace?"

Brad sighed, "I think I'm going to need it.  I wish my damn arm would stop cramping like this."

Ray tapped Brad's left shoulder as Brad turned slightly toward him shakily raising his arm.  Ray started to rub Brad's cramped fingers and hand working his way up to his elbow in an effort to get the muscles to relax enough for Walt to ease the brace into place. Once Walt got the brace secured he checked his watch and the dug through the bag pulling out Brad's medications.  Walt got up and grabbed a glass of juice for Brad.  "It's actually time for your meds."

Brad nodded reaching for the pills with his right arm. Walt handed him his pills and started to load the syringes with his two medications that were still given through his g-tube before handing Brad the juice.  When Brad finished swallowing the pills he pulled up his t-shirt so Walt could finish dispensing his meds.  

 Walt disposed of the syringes and settled back on the couch with Ray as Brad settled back against him. Brad looked at Nate still asleep on his lap and shook his head.  Walt and Ray also looked at Nate noticing that he managed to sleep through all the moving around.  Ray shook his head, "ok it's official the LT definitely needs more rest.  I can't remember the last time he slept this hard."

Brad leaned over and kissed the top of Nate's head, "he hasn't slept this hard since the first time we slept together after OIF."

Nate's hand gripped Brad's track pants and then relaxed.  Nate slowly blinked his eyes open and smiled at Brad, "sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep.  How long was I out?"

Walt smiled looking at his watch, "it's no big deal, you were only out 2 hours."

 Nate sighed contently looking at Brad, "what can I say you make a good pillow."

Ray laughed, "sure as long as you like hard bony pillows."

Brad laughed, "hey I'm working on it. Sadly the weight doesn't come back as easy as it went away."

Walt kissed Brad's neck, "you're getting there.  You've put on 25 of the 60 pounds you lost."

Brad smiled, "I know, but there's still a ways to go."

 ....

Brad parked on the deck looking out at the yard while everyone else was getting dinner set up.  He was enjoying the peace and bit of solitude.

Ray walked quietly up to Brad and placed a hand on his arm, "you OK?"

Brad smiled, "yeah just enjoying the peace and quiet.  It's been awhile since I could just be."

Ray chuckled quietly, "I hear ya.  Do you want anything while we're waiting on dinner?"

"Something to drink would be nice." Brad answered.

 Ray came back out with a glass of ice water setting it down next to Brad's arm before sitting quietly next to him.  Brad took a drink and then looked at Ray with a small smile. "You don't have to be quiet Ray."

 Ray grinned, "I know but it's been awhile since we just got to sit together."

Brad gave a half smile looking at the house, "well you've obviously been busy.  I have missed you, but you've been doing a lot to make sure I can come home and I really am grateful for it."

Ray gave Brad a softer smile, "it's sucked being away but it'll be worth it in the long run." Ray paused leaning his head against Brad's shoulder. "I missed you too, but this was the only thing I could think to do that would help you. I couldn't stop the seizures and I'm OK at helping with rehab and anything else you'd need but I felt so worthless sitting there waiting when I could actually do something to help you get home quicker.  All we wanted was to have a place that was safe for you to come home to and that you could have your space and do what you wanted without someone hovering all the time."

Brad smiled against the top of Ray's head and kissed him. "I'm glad that you and Walt and everyone made this happen.  It means a lot to me to be able to be here and not be a burden. I know there's still a long way to go but we're going to get there and you guys went a long way to making it happen and I love you all the more for it."

Ray rolled his eyes, "Brad you are not a burden.  You're our family and you were hurt. We want to be here for you and take care of you when you need us to but we also want you to have the freedom to take care of yourself as you heal.  It was important to us to give you a place where things could start to feel normal again."

Brad opened his mouth to argue but they heard a loud noise from the kitchen and then laughter. Ray and Brad's heads snapped to the open door.  They couldn't help but smile and chuckle as they saw Nate and Walt goofing off in the kitchen making dinner. They were throwing scraps of food at each other.  Ray called through the open door. "You guys are going to be cleaning that up." Laughing Ray continued, "give me the steaks grill's ready and I'm starving."

Walt and Nate turned to Ray trying to look contrite before giving each other sidelong glances and doubling over laughing again. Ray just shook his head smiling fondly at them as he took the plate of steaks away from Walt.

Brad looked at them and the mess in the kitchen and just laughed. "Wow you two are something else.  Get cleaned up and join us out here."

Nate smiled and grabbed Walt heading toward the sink to finish the salad and potatoes before cleaning up.

 They all sat around the picnic table as they began to eat dinner.  Nate cut Brad's steak for him as the brace kept him from being able to use his left hand.  

Nate smiled at Brad and Walt, "so this week is going to be a little different.  Since the conference went well work is going to need me to start working part-time, with the possibility of having to put in a few full days as needed."

Brad nodded, "sounds about right I can go to therapy alone or with Walt if he's not too busy.  I should be getting the last of my paperwork this week to finalize the request for retirement and they are going to be finishing up the med board process as we're getting closer to the end of inpatient care and therapy.  Dr. Michaels wants my disability rating set before we move onto the outpatient side of things."

Nate looked at Brad, "I'll make sure I'm at work during the morning so that I should have my afternoons clear to help with any of the meetings or paperwork."

Ray sighed, "I've got client meetings this week to go over new web designs and advertizing.  I should be available if you guys need anything in the afternoon."

Brad smiled quietly, "so what you're both saying is it's time to start settling into our new routine.  I get to start spending sometime on my own."

Walt smirked, "well this week is finals week for the last of my classes so I've got 3 papers and 4 tests to take.  So I'll be in your room working on them.  Don't worry if you need me I'm there but if you want to start going to a few of your therapy appointments alone you can."

Brad grinned, "I'll still want someone there for pt because it helps to have one of you there but I should be fine with speech and ot."

Walt nodded, "you got it. I'll be there."

Nate looked closely at Brad, "are you sure you're ok with being alone for most of your appointments?"

Brad smirked, "yes I'm ok with it.  If I need anything to change so someone can be there I will ask but I'm kind of excited about getting to be on my own a little more.  I think I'm ready for it."

Nate smiled and kissed him, "I'm a little nervous about you being alone but I'm glad that you are excited about getting to have some space."

"Nate, don't worry I'm getting better.  Seriously if I need something I will ask." Brad sighed sounding frustrated. 

Nate smiled ruefully, "I know you are Brad but it's hard to miss out on your progress.  I like to celebrate with you when things go well and I like to just be with you when things are difficult."

Brad leaned over and kissed Nate, "I love you but seriously it's ok to start getting back to our normal routines and lives.  Even if I'm not ready to be on my own all the time I like the thought of trying to be more independent."

Ray chuckled, "well gents we've got to let our little Bradley fly sometime, this week should be a great trial run for all of us."

....

"Do you want to shower together tonight or do you want to be alone?" Nate quietly asked Brad kissing the side of his neck.

Brad arched a sardonic eyebrow, "that depends LT are you asking to shower like we usually do or are you asking because you think I need help?"

Nate gave a slow grin before kissing Brad's neck, this time with implied intent. Brad grinned in response, "together. Hell if the shower was big enough I'd want all four of us together but that's what our bed is for."

Ray and Walt grinned conspiratorially. "We'll meet you in the bedroom in 30." Ray responds.

 Brad headed down the hall toward their bedroom as he called, "deal."

Nate followed Brad excited about this piece of normalcy. Brad was sitting in his chair folding his shirt before setting it on the counter next to his brace, and bending over to bring his legs up one at a time to take off his shoes, AFOs, and socks.  Nate smiled at Brad's apparent enthusiasm. Nate stripped out of his clothes before looking back to Brad. "Do you need anything Love?"

Brad gave a small smile,  "just a hand getting out of my pants." 

Nate nodded, "well let's get in the shower and I'll give you a hand."

Brad wheeled himself into the shower locking his brakes before getting ready to stand. Nate helped Brad up to his feet making sure he was stable holding the bars before quickly removing Brad's pants.  He took Nate's arm as he shifted to sit on the bench."  Nate made sure he was comfortable before removing the wheelchair and the remainder of Brad's clothes from the shower.

Nate turned on the water and stepped into the spray waiting for the temperature to adjust before removing the shower head and carefully spraying Brad down.  He leaned into Nate's touch as he ran his fingers through Brad's hair. He turned his head and kissed the inside of Nate's wrist.  Nate's knees almost buckled as the pure want for his husband rolled through him. Brad wrapped his right arm around Nate's waist to steady him. Nate stepped back long enough to slide the shower head home and grab the rag and soap. 

Brad watched as Nate ran the soapy cloth up his legs being careful of the fresh barely healed scar that marred his thigh.  He watched transfixed as Nate continued up his body being gentle and careful the entire time. Brad's breath caught in his throat as Nate kissed the scar from the bullet's entry on his chest. He gripped Nate's arm as he laved at the sensitive skin a small moan slipping from his lips. Nate continued his navigation  of Brad's body using the cloth and soap.  Nate kissed him softly before rinsing him off. Brad reached for the rag and began his own reacquaintance with Nate's body.  

When they were both clean Nate wrapped Brad in a towel before pushing the wheelchair into the shower and helping him sit down in it. Brad maneuvered himself out of the shower and over to the sink where he started to brush his teeth. The towel slipped slightly from his shoulder and exposed the edge of the scar from bullet's entry. Brad's breath caught in his throat as he got to really see the scar for the first time. He shrugged the towel off to look at the rest of the scars on his chest and neck.

Nate wrapped a gentle hand around the back of Brad's neck."Are you ok?"

Brad blinked slowly, "yeah I just haven't gotten to really look at any of the scars yet."

Brad finished brushing his teeth and looked at Nate. "Help me stand up I want to see how bad my back looks."

Nate sighed as he helped Brad stand catching Ray and Walt's eyes in the mirror, " it doesn't look too bad Love."  Brad turned so his back was facing the mirror as Walt held up a smaller mirror in front of him so he could see his whole back.  

Brad sighed and closed his eyes, "it could be worse."

Brad opened his eyes again and began to really look at his reflection.  He could see the weight loss in the definition of his ribs, hips, arms, legs, and cheeks.  As he inspected the red sensitive scarring from the bullet's entry and exit, the incision from the surgery on his chest, the trache scar on his throat, the port for his feeding tube in his side. As he looked at his back he saw the exit wound missed his tattoo, but the scars from his neck surgery bisected his smaller tattoo at the base of his neck. Brad took a shaky breath as he looked at his thigh and the angry thick scars that ran from just below his hip to just above his knee. He moved onto look at his left forearm the thin red scars lining the front and back of it the angry mass of scar tissue where the bones punched through skin and muscle.

Brad closed his eyes a single tear slid down his cheek as Nate helped him sit back down in his wheelchair. They moved out of Brad's way as he maneuvered himself into the bedroom. Brad was feeling unnerved and upset.  He wasn't prepared for the severity of the scarring especially the damage to one of his tattoos. He knew he could get it fixed but it was almost as if the damage to the small tattoo was the final nail in the coffin of what had happened to him.  It was as if nothing was left untouched. 

Brad had transferred himself into bed before they had even made it across the room. He buried himself in the blankets and his pillow before anyone else had crawled into bed with him.  Nate crawled into bed behind Brad as Walt gently touched his shoulder. "I need to give you your night meds." Walt stated quietly.

Brad sighed and sniffed before lifting the blankets to give Walt access to his button. Walt loaded the meds and then knelt in front of Brad before he softly wiped away the silent tears. Nate was wrapped around Brad's back while Ray was behind Nate with his hand on Brad's hip.

Walt kissed him softly, "what's going through that head of yours?"

Brad took a steadying breath, "I don't know how to explain it."

Walt kissed him again. "Hey whatever it is we're here with you.  We love you Brad.  We need you to know that we're never going to abandon you." Walt kissed Brad's neck where his tracheotomy scar was and then moved on to kiss the scars on his forearm. "None of this changes anything for us. All these scars mean is you are alive and stronger than what tried to kill you."

Brad nodded quietly against Walt's neck. "I still don't know how to explain what I'm thinking and feeling.  I don't really care about the scars exactly it's more like there isn't an aspect of me or my life that hasn't been changed or altered by what happened. The scars are just the physical representation of how irrevocably things have been changed."

Nate kissed the scar along the back of Brad's neck. "You are no more finished healing than your scars are." Nate paused kissing his neck again and nipping gently at his shoulder. "Things may be different and they may not go back to being exactly what they were but that doesn't mean that they can't be just as good if not better than before."

"Brad what can we do to help you see we don't think of you any differently?  You are still our Iceman.  Still our rock that we count on; that hasn't changed, the only difference is for now you need a little help with some things.  We still love you and trust you to help take care of us in return." Ray punctuated his declaration with a kiss to the side of Brad's neck as Nate shifted out of his way.

Brad sighed, "mentally I know all of this but I'm still working on processing everything that's happened and all the changes that are still coming. I know it's going to take time, just be patient with me and remind me when I need it that it's going to get better and I will find my footing again.  For now I just need to feel you all here and trust that we'll get through this."

Ray and Nate pulled Brad back further on the bed so Walt could slide in front.  Brad snuggled against Walt's chest as Nate settled against his back and Ray draped an arm over them all from behind Nate. Brad was asleep within minutes once everyone stopped moving around exhaustion both physical and emotional dragging him down quickly into oblivion.  Nate, Ray and Walt stayed awake a little while longer just looking at Brad and each other.  

Nate finally sighed, "we should all get some sleep we're going to have a busy day tomorrow since we have a full day at home with him I want us to be able to take advantage of it." 

Ray nodded against Nate's shoulder as he ran a gentle hand over Brad's hip. "We should try to get him out on a walk or something maybe go to the park anything to get his mind off what's been lost and focused on what is still here."

Nate kissed the back of Brad's shoulder as Walt ran soft fingers through Brad's hair.  Brad snuggled in closer and slept on.  It didn't take long for the others to join Brad in a deep and peaceful sleep, all of them feeling whole for the first time in months.


	22. Reprieve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has a good weekend home before starting their new routines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, real life has just been taking up all my time. I'm hoping things will settle a little and allow me more time to write. I found a quote today that sums up how things have been going not only in this story but in my actual life. Hope you are all still enjoying this story and that this update finds you all well.
> 
> Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, just remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome. -Unknown

Chapter 22: Reprieve

 Brad woke feeling safe and content for the first time since before he deployed.  His head was pillowed on Walt's chest as he listened to the steady beat of his heart and his deep rhythmic breathing.  He felt Nate's chest rise and fall behind him and the gentle puff of breath against his neck. He felt Ray's fingers brush against his hip as he moved them in his sleep.  Brad was content to stay here sandwiched between  the most important people in his life. They were close and he was home safe and sound, if only for the weekend.

Walt's breathing changed slightly as he slowly woke up. He gently ran his fingers through Brad's hair before kissing the top of his head.  Brad lifted his head to give Walt a proper kiss. "Good morning. Did you sleep OK?" Walt whispered.

Brad smiled, "better than I have in months. Did you sleep OK?"

Walt grinned, " me too.  I think that will be resounding consensus when everyone wakes up."

Brad chuckled quietly, "it's so quiet compared to the hospital.  It was so nice to sleep through the night without someone coming in and needing something."

Nate rumbled a quiet chuckle at Brad's observation, "the amount of nightly interruptions in the hospital makes me wonder how anyone gets enough rest to heal and recover." Nate punctuated his statement with a kiss to the back of Brad's shoulder.

 Ray lightly squeezed Brad's hip, "well since we're all awake should we get up and start the day?"

Brad's stomach let out an audible growl causing Ray to chuckle. "The stomach has spoken, time to go make breakfast.  Brad what would you like?"

Brad huffed out a laugh, "eggs, toast, and fruit."

Nate kissed him before he rolled over to get out of bed, "you got it Love."

Ray and Nate were up and dressed before Walt and Brad even started to move. Ray kissed them both, "you guys get ready we'll start breakfast."

As Nate and Ray went to make breakfast Walt looked at Brad, "so get dressed first or do you want to do your stretching first?"

Brad grinned impishly, "naked stretching sounds like fun."

Walt laughed loud enough for Ray to call down the hall, "you two are having too much fun in there."

"Not yet Ray but that could change in a minute as Brad proposed stretching  before dressing." Walt called back.

Nate could be heard laughing from the kitchen. "Sounds like a Brad idea."

Walt happily went through Brad's stretching routine. He carefully checked over Brad's left arm for muscle spasms and tightness. "Are you going to want to wear your brace today or do you want to start without it and see how it goes?"

Brad slowly clenched and relaxed his hand and flexed and extended his wrist. "It feels better today so let's go without and see what happens."

Walt nodded as he handed Brad his pile of clothes with his AFOs stacked on top before setting his shoes next to the bed.  Brad grinned as he got to work getting dressed. Walt smiled back as he got ready quickly so he could be available if Brad needed help.

Once Brad was ready they headed out to the kitchen.  Brad set the table while Nate and Ray finished making breakfast and Walt setup Brad's morning meds.  As Walt dispensed Brad's meds Nate brought over his food and gave Brad an intense good morning kiss that left Brad grinning from ear to ear.  "So what do you want to do after breakfast?" Nate asked with a smirk.

Brad shrugged, "don't know.  I want to look over some of my computer stuff to make sure I've got what I need to finish the computer I was working on before I shipped out.  I'd also like to get outside for a while."

Nate nodded, "so we'll go for a walk after we eat and then you and Ray can geek out over the computer parts while Walt and I make lunch."

Ray and Brad nodded before snarking with matching grins, "agreed as long as you and Walt can avoid another food fight."

 ....

After breakfast they cleaned up and headed outside.  Brad rolled down the ramp basking in the warm sunlight and enjoying the freedom of going wherever he wanted.  Nate walked beside him as Ray and Walt stayed close behind.  They let him set the pace and route.  Ray wrapped an arm around Walt as they walked behind them just enjoying the peace and quiet, and joy of just being together free to do as they pleased for at least the next 24 hours.  Brad smiled as one of their neighbor's kids came running over to them barely containing her excitement at seeing her favorite babysitters.  She wrapped her arms around Nate's legs before looking brightly at Brad. "Can I climb up?" She asked quietly.

Brad chuckled, "Sure Katie come here."  

She sat in Brad's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I missed you.  I'm sorry you're hurt but I'm happy you're home safe."

Brad returned her hug, "thanks Katie I missed seeing you too.  Don't worry sweetie I'll be ok.  I'm just home for the weekend for now but I'll be home for good soon."

Nate kissed the top of her head fondly, "let's get you back to your mom peanut."

Haley, Katie's mom, waved from the gate at them.  "Welcome home Brad it's good to see you're doing well.  Hey Nate, Ray, Walt we've missed seeing you guys."

Brad smiled, "Hey Haley, you lost someone."

Katie rolled her eyes with all the sass her little 4 year old body could contain before sighing, "I'm not lost silly, I'm with you."

Nate laughed and ruffled her hair, "we know you're not lost, but you took off before your mom had a chance to say anything."

Haley came over and picked Katie up off Brad's lap. "Hey it's time for your nap kiddo."

Katie stuck her lower lip out and pouted, "but Mom we haven't seen them in forever."

Brad snorted, "Katie you listen to your mom."

Nate smiled, "I promise as soon as Brad's home for good we will have you over and let your parents go have some fun."

Haley smiled fondly, "you don't have to do that I'm sure you are all exhausted after everything."

Brad rolled his eyes, "no worries Haley between the four of us we can keep up with Katie.  It's still going to be at least two weeks before I'll be released for outpatient care."

Ray and Walt both laughed as Katie squirmed in her mom's arms.  Haley let her down and watched as she ran over to Ray and Walt hugging them both before heading back to her mom.

"Alright you know Caleb and I won't say no to an offer for babysitting especially once he get's back from training." Haley agreed.

Brad nodded. "Have a good nap Katie.  Haley it was nice to see you, say hi to Caleb for us."

Haley gave them each quick hugs, "will do.  It really is nice to see all of you we really have missed you guys."

They continued on their walk, looping around a nearby park and then heading back home toward home, "are you guys good with heading back?" Brad asked.

Ray put a hand on Brad's shoulder, "getting hungry, tired or just wanting to go play with the computer parts?"

Brad smiled, "all of the above."

....

 Brad and Ray carefully pulled the dust cloth off their work table and started to look over the parts as well as the half completed computer to make sure that they weren't going to need to replace or repair anything before they continued on with the project.  Ray started taking notes as Brad rattled off the list of things they would need to complete the computer.

"The good news is I should be able to get the rest of the parts by the time you are home and we'll be able to finish it soon." Ray stated confidently.

Brad nodded, "the better news is we only need a few more parts."

They went to work organising the completed sections vs the incomplete. Brad paused and looked at Ray. "What's on your mind Ray?"

Ray looked up startled, " what makes you think something's on my mind?"

Brad snorted, "you're being really quiet and now trying to be evasive, badly. What's going on?"

Ray sighed before looking at the door to make sure the were still alone, "I've been thinking about asking Walt to marry me."

Brad arched an eyebrow, "well that's new.  Congratulations. What changed your mind?'

Ray looked down at his hands and sighed before shrugging.

Brad moved closer and touched Ray's cheek making him look up. "Ray I think it's a great idea, but neither of you have ever said you were thinking marriage. What made you change your mind?"

Ray leaned into Brad's touch before looking at him, " all of this.  What if he got hurt or I got hurt we wouldn't have any legal rights to help make decisions or even to get to stay with each other.  I've never been more grateful that you and Nate were married than when he called to say you were hurt and that it was bad."

Brad gave a half smile, "I was relieved too. I liked knowing he would be calling the shots and that he would let both of you be there with us.  You know we wouldn't have this any other way." Brad pulled Ray into a hug and gave him a kiss before whispering. "I think it's a great idea."

Ray rested his head against Brad's shoulder, "I don't want it to change anything other than we have the same safety as a couple that you and Nate do.  I still want to keep what we have here."

Brad huffed a laugh against the top of Ray's head. "It won't change anything Ray. Did things change when Nate and I did it?"

Ray gave a nervous smile, "no it didn't, but that doesn't mean it won't."

Brad shook his head, "it will be just like when we got married. It won't change anything we don't want it to."

Walt knocked on the door, "hey lunch is ready."

"We'll be right there." Brad called back before looking back at Ray.

Ray exhaled slowly as Walt walked away from the door back to the kitchen.  Brad snickered, "that was close."

Ray rolled his eyes as he picked up the drop cloth and handed half to Brad so they could cover their project back up. 

....

They spent the rest of the day relaxing and enjoying one another's company.  Ray and Nate spent some time working on various work projects while Walt got a little of his school work done and Brad relaxed on the couch reading a book.  Brad looked at everyone lost in their own little routines and smiled contently before transferring himself to his chair and going into the kitchen.  He quickly picked up the menu from his favorite pizza place and called in a delivery order before anyone even noticed he'd left the room.  Brad decided to load the dishwasher before heading back into the living room with everyone else.  Nate looked up and smiled as Brad came back in with a drink before settling back on the couch to read again. "Oh guys I ordered dinner it should be here in 30."

Nate arched an eyebrow, "what are we having?"

Brad smirked, "pizza and pop since I can't have beer."

Walt checked his watch shocked at the time. "Do you need any of your pain meds we're a little late on the latest dose."

Brad shook his head, "no I'm feeling fine, but I'm going to put the brace on before my hand starts cramping too bad."

Walt nodded, "well you're due your muscle relaxer."

Brad rolled his eyes, "I don't really want to take it.  It makes me feel stoned."

Nate looked between them, "ok you can hold off for now but if it gets any worse you'll take the meds."

Brad sighed, "fine."

The doorbell rang and Walt got up to retrieve dinner.  Brad put in a movie while Nate and Ray grabbed plates and drinks.

After dinner Brad caved and took both his optional meds before everyone settled in a pile on the couch.  Walt was leaning against Ray as Brad was leaning on Walt and Nate curled up against Brad.  Ray kissed the top of Walt's head, "comfortable?"

Walt smiled as he kissed Ray's palm and ran fingers through Brad's hair, "yeah this is perfect. You?"

Ray ran fingers through Walt's hair, "Never better."

Brad and Nate fell asleep as the movie played.  Walt and Ray were dozing lightly when Brad whimpered and flinched in his sleep. Ray and Walt immediately touched him gently and softly spoke to wake him from the nightmare.  Brad startled awake panting Nate instantly gripped his leg to keep from getting kicked.  "Are you ok?" Nate asked concerned.

Brad's breathing slowed as he looked around slowly, "yeah just a nightmare."

Walt gently stroked his hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Brad closed his eyes and took a slow, deep breath, "it was the ambush.  Watching the humvee in front of us blow up and the blowback rocked us off course.  We were driving through a fucking kill zone...  I remember the explosion exactly and the shooting." Brad paused to take another deep breath, "It felt like suffocating.  I couldn't get a breath everything hurt.  It's all so fuzzy.  I don't remember Doc getting me out of the humvee but I remember laying there bleeding, confused in overwhelming pain and not able to draw a full breath...  Every fucking time I tried to take a breath the pressure on my chest got worse until Tim put in the needle to allow the air out."

Walt kissed the top of Brad's head as Nate squeezed his hand and Ray gripped his shoulder.  "It's ok Brad.  You're home safe now." Nate whispered.

Brad took a shaky breath, "all I could think was I wasn't going to get back home to all of you.  That I was going to let you down dying there in the dirt so far from everything that means everything to me."

Nate gave a soft smile, "but you didn't leave us.  You are here and alive and healing."

A tear slid silently down Brad's cheek as he fought to control his breathing, "yeah, but so many others didn't.  Why was I so lucky to live when everything was stacked against me? Why me and not Nick or Aiden or the others?"  Brad wiped at the tears, "don't get me wrong I'm glad I made it.  I'm glad I'm home and back with all of you but I still can't help but think why couldn't we all have been that lucky."

Walt gave a sad smile, "Brad it's ok to wonder why.  It's even ok to be sad or upset at how many brothers we lost, but it is just as ok to be grateful to still be alive and to be able to rebuild your life."

Brad nodded, "I'm grateful to be home, and healing don't get me wrong but I can't help but wish they all got the same chance I did.  The problem is there was no way that was going to happen. As soon as I saw the first explosion I knew they were gone and then we impacted and there was nothing until Doc was talking to me trying to keep me alive.  This is what I see in my nightmares."

Ray squeezed Brad's shoulder, "just know that we're here for you always.  We'll always support you and love you.  Thank you for finally talking to us about this and how it makes you feel.  We want to help you even if it's just to listen and love you."

Brad took another slow breath as he felt himself even out, "thanks for always being there.  I really don't know if I could do this without you all.  I know if it wasn't Doc there helping me focus on getting home I wouldn't be here and I will never be sorry he fought so hard for me."

The close contact seemed even more important to all of them as they let the conversation trail off and let the simplicity of the movie wash over them allowing them to relax and begin to process this new information.

....

The late morning light found them curled around each other in bed everyone reluctant to start the day knowing that it would soon be time to return to the hospital, that they would be leaving Brad and Walt at the hospital and going home alone.  It was easier knowing that this was going to soon be temporary but with as smoothly as this trip home went they couldn't help but think that going back to being in the hospital full-time wasn't needed anymore.  Ray and Brad looked at each other as they both gave conspiratory smirks looking at their sleeping partners.  Brad arched an eyebrow at Ray and nodded in Walt's direction as Ray repeated the motion in Nate's direction.  Brad nodded and grinned as he leaned into Nate's space kissing the junction of his neck and shoulder.  Ray grinned and responded by doing the same. They grinned at each other before turning their attentions to giving their love's a pleasant wake up call.  Brad kissed, sucked and nipped at Nate's neck, shoulder and collarbone as he slowly snaked his hand down to grasp Nate's morning erection. They listened as Nate and Walt's breathing picked up as Ray and Brad continued to kiss, nip, suck and stroke them awake.  Brad wasn't up for a lot of physical exertion but he was up for this and he put all his focus and pleasure toward giving Nate the welcome home experience he'd been dreaming of since before the ambush.  Having Ray and Walt so close only made the experience that much better.  Brad and Ray locked eyes for a brief moment as they worked to bring both partners to completion together.   Nate and Walt climaxed crying out together.  As they sagged bonelessly against the bed they looked at their partners.  Walt lurched forward capturing Ray's mouth and flipped him over as he proceeded to return Ray's enthusiasm.  Nate cupped Brad's cheek, "that was an amazing way to wake up this morning.  Are you ok?"

Brad smirked as he kissed Nate's lips hungrily, "never better."

Nate carefully rolled Brad over onto his back.  He kissed the soft skin of Brad's neck just below his ear before whispering, "do you want me to?"

Brad's breath caught at the look of pure want in Nate's eyes as he nodded.  Nate sucked gently at Brad's collarbone, "tell me if you need me to stop. I don't want to hurt you."

Brad breathed, "I will... Please Nate..."

Nate laved at Brad's nipple and slowly stroked him bringing him slowly to full hardness.  Brad's breathing was ragged as he listened to Ray's panting and soft moans. He soon lost himself in Nate's gentle ministrations. Ray cried out as he climaxed.  Nate sucked and licked against Brad's sensitive nipples and throat.  Brad's breath caught in his throat his hips stuttering as Nate stroked his length a little harder.  Brad came with a hoarse cry and shudder.  Nate carefully eased him through it as Brad melted into the bed all tension leaving his body.  Brad rolled on his side facing Ray and Walt as Nate curled up against his back.  Small smiles graced all their faces as they basked in the afterglow.  Brad arched his neck and kissed Nate before laying his hand on top of Ray and Walt's.  "This was the perfect way to start the day." Brad whispered.

Ray snorted, "couldn't agree with you more."

Walt snuggled into Ray's embrace, "definitely perfect."

Nate softly kissed the back of Brad's neck, "I know better than to fight with grunts."

Brad laughed, "good LT."

Everyone lay there just enjoying the closeness.  Finally they all proceeded to get up and get ready to start the day.  Walt went through Brad's stretches as Nate and Ray got dressed watching them move through the exercises. Ray and Nate were picking out clothes for Brad as Walt called, "Ray grab mine too please."

Ray and Nate shook their heads, "OK Brad's naked stretching is definitely distracting." Ray observed.

Brad grinned impishly. "Yeah but there's no restriction as long as we're in the privacy of our own home."

Ray laughed as Walt finished the stretching and threw clothes at both of them.  Once everyone was dressed and Brad was settled in his chair they headed out to the living room.  "So what are we doing today?" Nate asked as he dispensed Brad's meds.

Brad sighed, "Well they moved up my return time because they have some new tests they want to run.  So let's go out to lunch and we'll head back there so they can get their work done."

....

Once Brad was settled back in his room after the weekend pass and tests he was exhausted.  They worked together to get him cleaned up and ready for bed.  All too soon it was time for Nate and Ray to head home.  Brad and Walt exchanged kisses and hugs with them.    
"We'll see you after we get done with work.  We should be here not too long after lunch.  We've all got a meeting with Dr. Michaels to discuss test results." Nate stated.

Brad smiled, "Ok.  We'll see you then.  Go home and get some sleep you guys have work early tomorrow."

Nate and Ray left Walt got Brad settled into bed.  They all parted thinking of one thing, going home. The knowledge that their splitting time between there and the hospital was coming to a close and the contentment that thought brought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this chapter fought every step of the way until the last part which came easier than I expected. I can honestly say I am going to try to post once a week but it's most likely going to be every week and a half/ to two weeks. I've got a lot of things going on including trying to start an etsy business, so between that, working full-time and all the appointments and things we still do daily with my Marine there just isn't enough hours in a day, but I promise I will finish this story. Thank you all so much for your encouragement as I've written this. Thank you for reading.


	23. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After almost 9 months in the hospital the moment they've all been waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is the final chapter of this story. I still have quite a few one shots that I will be adding to fill out the series and add to their stories so feel free to keep an eye on this series. I could seriously keep writing for them indefinitely especially since healing is an on going never ending process and I love the pairings dearly. I am choosing to end this part of the story here because while everything is not complete this story has come full circle and it feels right to give them a hopeful and happy pausing point. I hope you have all enjoyed this journey with me as much as I have enjoyed sharing it with you. Thank you for reading.

Chapter 23:  Homecoming

It had been three weeks since Brad's first weekend pass and he had been working hard on all of his rehabilitation therapies to ensure that he could get home as soon as possible.  In the weeks since his trip home he'd put on 10 pounds and was starting to spend some time walking with a cane even though he was still in his wheelchair most of the time. His biggest point of pride was the removal of his feeding tube after, 8 1/2 months with it they had finally been able to safely remove it.

This was the time they had been waiting so long for, Brad's release date from the hospital was finally within reach.  They had begun taking things home that they weren't going to need so there wasn't much left to bring with them.  When the day arrived just a small duffle bag of items remained, clothes, toiletries, medications to take home with them, a book, a couple magazines and Brad's laptop. Brad was sitting anxiously in his wheelchair holding his cane waiting with Walt for Nate and Ray to get there to take them home.

Walt kissed the top of Brad's head, "you ready for this?"

Brad looked up and grinned, "I can't wait to get home and not have to worry about coming back for anything other than appointments."

Walt smiled, "we're still going to be here quite a bit, but I like the way you think." He paused, "there's nothing better than knowing we will be going home everyday."

Brad nodded as the door opened and Dr. Michaels came in with Nate and Ray.  "So Brad are you ready to get out of here?" Dr. Michaels asked.

Brad smiled, "no offense Doc but I'm ready to show this place my tail lights." Brad paused, " in all seriousness thank you for everything you have done to help get me to this point."

Dr. Michaels smiled, "you are very welcome Brad.  Trust me when I say I've enjoyed having you as a patient but I'm equally glad to see you well enough to go home."

Brad nodded, "so I'm free to leave?"

Dr. Michaels shook his head, "you are free to go.  Your first outpatient PT appointment is on Monday at 10. You have two other appointments that day as well but we made sure you were scheduled with minimal time in between. You will also have your next follow up appointment with me the following Monday."

Brad arched an eyebrow at his doctor, "please tell me I have a schedule printed in all those papers."

Dr. Michaels grinned, " yes it's the top page.  It has your therapy schedules as well as your next three follow up appointments with me. Any questions before I cut you loose?"

Brad shook his head, "no if all the info is here we should be good.  Doc it's been great working with you."

"Brad it's been a privilege to work with you.  If you  need anything before your next appointment with me all of my contact info is there call and leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can." Dr. Michaels stated as he shook Brad's hand.  "Good luck Brad. Gentlemen it's been a privilege to work with you as well."

Nate, Ray Walt smiled, "we couldn't have done it without you Doc.  Thanks for everything."

 Walt picked up the duffle bag and Ray took the cane so Brad could start to maneuver out of the room.

The nurses who had spent so much time working with Brad were waiting to say their goodbyes as well.  Marcie and Anna managed to get hugs out of them and made them promise to check in every now and then to let them know how they're doing.

 Brad couldn't stop smiling as they headed for the car. Ray laughed, "gee you're not excited about going home are you?"

Brad chuckled and rolled his eyes, " I've been dreaming about this day for months.  It's Friday and I am free until Monday, even then I'll only be there for a few hours and then I can come home.  What's not to like."

 Nate grinned as he helped Brad get in the car, "I see nothing to dislike here."

Walt loaded Brad's wheelchair in the trunk. "Let's get out of here guys.  It's time to go home and celebrate."

As they pulled into the driveway Brad saw the brightly colored banner over the door declared  _Welcome home Brad!_   He glanced at all of them with a half smile, "something I should know about?"

Ray laughed, "well you're not supposed to know but there's a group of really strange people who theoretically know us and desperately want to celebrate your homecoming with us. They're currently hiding in the back yard so act surprised."

Brad chuckled, "I'll do my best."

Walt pulled the wheelchair out of the trunk while Ray grabbed the bag and Brad's cane.  Brad looked at Ray "I need the cane.  I know I can't walk for long distances yet but I want to walk into the house for the first time."

Ray nodded handing him the cane as Nate helped him out of the car.  Brad stood up leaning heavily against the cane while he gripped Nate's arm.  Nate smiled, "no worries I've got you.  We can go up the ramp whenever you're ready."  Ray and Walt headed up the ramp with their cargo as Nate helped Brad walk slowly up the ramp into the house.  Brad stopped just inside the door. "Do you need your chair or do you want to try to walk out to the back yard?" Nate inquired.

Brad looked toward his chair and then toward the patio door leading out to the yard. "I want to try to walk out there but I know I'm going to need the wheelchair soon."

Nate nodded before giving Brad a quick kiss, "ready?"

Brad shook his head and started to slowly make his way to the patio with Nate's help.  Walt stayed close behind them with the wheelchair so Brad would have it when he needed it.

Ray opened the door and they could hear the sound of laughter before everyone started to quiet down in anticipation of their arrival.  Brad stood in the doorway looking out at their yard and the people gathered there smiling back who were genuinely excited to see him.  Nate squeezed his hand whispering, "you ok?"

Brad nodded, "I'm going to need to sit soon my left leg is at it's limit."

As they stepped out Walt set up his wheelchair so Brad could sit.  Once he was settled Brad handed his cane off to Walt and looked at everyone, "Well this is a surprise."

Brad's mom, dad, and sisters were the first to reach him. His youngest sister wrapped her arms around Brad as she cried into his shoulder.  Brad wrapped her in his arms before he pulled her onto his lap as he buried his face in her hair rubbing her back, "shh shh it's ok Becca. I'm ok."

She nodded against his shoulder, "I know but you scared us so badly."  She pulled back to look at her brother.  She wiped at her nose and gave him a brilliant, teary smile.  "I swore I wouldn't cry."

Brad smiled at her as he gently wiped away her tears thinking of all the times he'd done that in her 28 years, "it's ok Becca, I get it."

She hugged him again tightly before moving out of the way.  His mom hugged him and gave him a kiss.  "You look good." His dad said as he hugged him.

His younger sister smiled at him with her son on her hip.  Isaac squealed as he lunged toward his uncle.  She came closer and hugged him tightly as Isaac left a sloppy toddler kiss on Brad's cheek. "Hey Sarah you look good.  God he's gotten big." 

"You look good too.  Do you want to hold him?" She asked.

Brad took Isaac as he threw himself into Brad's arms. Nate chuckled as Isaac settled himself against Brad's chest chewing on his fingers.  "Hey Sarah, I'm guessing he's teething." Nate greeted.  Sarah grinned as she hugged him, "yeah he's got to be getting tired, since he didn't sleep well last night.  He was almost asleep until he saw you guys and well you see what he thought of that."

Nate's family was next to greet everyone.  Nate's older sister Molly handed over her youngest to Nate so she could give Brad a proper hug without squishing Isaac who was starting to fall asleep against his chest.  Brad smiled watching Nate hold his tiny newborn nephew.  Ray couldn't help but take pictures as the families greeted each other.  Brad smiled at Molly, "he's perfect Molly.  How are you feeling?"

Molly laughed, "I should be asking you how you are, but I'm good.  Sam is a handful but healthy and Ally, and Nick are really excited about him so I'll take it as a win."

After the families were done mobbing them everyone moved out of the way to let the others come closer and see everyone. Walt pushed Brad away from the doorway and out onto the patio so he could have easier access to everyone without unseating his sleeping nephew. 

Brad grinned as he saw Tim, Mike and Clara, Poke and Gina, and Rudy and Pappy wrangling the older kids.

Tim smiled as he walked over to Brad, "looking good Brad, thinking about getting one of your own?"

Brad chuckled as he rubbed his nephew's back, "not at the moment.  I'm pretty happy with favorite uncle status.  How've you been Doc?"

"Good just got back from training last night.  How's everything been going?" Tim inquired.

"Slow and steady.  Done with speech therapy but I still have, PT, hydro, and OT so they are going to be keeping me pretty busy for a while yet.  G-tube is gone and I haven't had a seizure in about a month and a half so no complaints." Brad replied with a smile.

Tim smiled, "glad to hear things are going so well. Just remember if you guys need anything or have questions about anything I'll help as much as I can."

 Brad nodded, "thanks Tim.  I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for everything you did."

Gina and Poke came up after Tim walked over to help Rudy and Pappy with Poke, Mike, Molly and Sarah's older kids.

Gina wrapped Brad in a tight hug being careful of Isaac sleeping on his chest, "welcome home Brad."

Brad hugged her back kissing her cheek, "thanks Gina.  How's everything been going?"

Poke smiled, "we've been good the kids are keeping us busy."

Gina grinned, "Anna can't wait to see you but she's a little distracted by the other kids."

Brad smirked, "let her play. I'm fine right here."

Nate wandered over still holding a sleeping Sam. "Hey LT is there something in the works we should know about?"

Nate looked up at Poke confused, "what are you talking about?"

"Well Nate it could be that you and Brad seem to be the baby whisperers and it has people wondering if you're thinking about doing it full-time." Mike drawled as he and Clara walked over to them.

Nate turned and grinned, "no plans for our own yet.  We're happy just being the favorite uncles."

Brad rolled his eyes, "What's to whisper at?  They're both asleep."

Mike chuckled, "you didn't hear these two trying to out scream each other before you got here. This is the quietest they've been since they got here." Mike squeezed Brad's shoulder, "by the way Brad welcome home."

Brad shook his head, "thanks.  I'm glad to finally be home.  How have you all been?"

Clara gave Brad and Nate hugs careful not to wake or bump either baby. "We've been good.  The kids have so much going on lately that it's nice to be here and have a weekend away from everything."

Nate snorted, "I can understand that.  We can't wait to get back into a normal routine after the all the craziness."

Ray and Walt had wandered over to free up Pappy and Rudy so they could go say their hellos.  Ray and Walt happily distracted the older kids while everyone spent time visiting with Brad.  Rudy and Pappy strolled up as Gina and Poke headed back to the kids and to check in with Ray and Walt.

"Hey Brad, Nate looking good." Pappy started.  "Glad you're finally home brother." Rudy finished.

Brad and Nate smiled, "It's good to be home.  How are things with you both."

Rudy laughed, "busy with a bunch of different projects but I'm happy so it's good."

Pappy rolled his eyes, "can't wait to be done training these new kids going through scout/sniper school."

Mike laughed, "I don't envy you Shawn.  Your contract's up at the end of this stationing isn't it?"

Pappy smiled, "yeah and I'm pretty sure it's time to get out.  I've got a few ideas of things l'd like to do once I'm done, and It's time to do something else."

Brad nodded, "I hear you there Pap, even if everything had gone differently I'd be done.  I'm ready for the next step."

Rudy agreed, "after the last deployment I couldn't do it any more.  I needed to find peace and while I haven't gotten there yet, I'm closer than I was before."

Mike and Nate nodded their agreement. "Sometimes it's best to know when you've done enough.  There's no shame in knowing that you're ready to move on." Nate declared softly.

Brad squeezed Nate's hand before shifting Isaac to a more comfortable position.

Everyone stayed for a few hours, they grilled dinner outside for everyone, Sarah and Molly both taking the babies back so Brad and Nate could eat.  Becca kept gravitating back to be close to her brother which made Nate smile and Ray and Walt tease her good naturedly.

 Brad laughed, "guys leave her be she's always wanted to follow me everywhere." He wrapped a protective arm around her shoulder, "I remember when I was 12 and I had climbed the tree in the backyard and she's all of 2 years old trying to follow me up the tree crying cause she couldn't reach.  Sarah who was 7 came out and tried to calm her down but she wasn't having it.  She wouldn't stop crying until I climbed back down and played with them both."

Ray cooed, "aww Brad you were such a good big brother."

Becca laughed, "yeah he was a good big brother unless he wanted to do his own thing and then it was a coin toss."

Brad smiled, "yeah well I'm not perfect Becca but I always tried to look out for both of you."

Becca rested her head against his shoulder, "you did well by both of us Brad don't worry."

After dinner everyone got ready to head out to let them all settle into being home again.  Plans were made to meet up with people for lunch the next day before everyone started to head home.

....

Nate helped Brad into the shower so they could clean up before bed.  Brad looked exhausted but happier than they had seen him since all of this began so many months ago.  Nate kissed him gently but thoroughly, "you doing alright?"

Brad grinned lazily, "yeah just tired.  It was a nice surprise to see everyone and celebrate with them, but I'm glad that it's just the four of us tonight."

Nate smiled and kissed him again, "me too.  It was nice to see everyone and it will be great to see them all before they head out tomorrow but I really just want to spend time just the four of us.  Home safe and sound with nothing that really needs our attention until Monday."

Brad leaned into Nate's fingers as they scrubbed soap through his hair sighing as the hot water rinsed his scalp and eased his tight muscles. "I've missed everyone but this right here with you and Ray and Walt is home and I'm not going to lie I have really missed home."

Nate smiled as he finished washing Brad, "I've missed it too. I love you all so much and this has been tough, but it has been so worth it just to get to this point."

Brad smiled softly as he reached up to scrub Nate's hair, "Agreed.  I love you all so much and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be here now without all of you being there for me and supporting me as I've started to recover."

Ray and Walt grinned as they cleaned each other enjoying the four of them getting to shower together. "You are both saps but we wouldn't have you any other way and there is no where else we'd rather be." Ray commented dryly.

Walt smacked Ray lightly, "they aren't the only saps in this relationship.  We all have our moments.  God I'm glad we're home.  I never thought I'd be this tired and happy."

Once everyone was clean Nate wrapped a towel around Brad's shoulders before he and Walt helped Brad walk from the bathroom to bed.  Ray grabbed Brad's meds and a bottle of water while he waited for them to get settled in bed.  Brad took his meds and then settled into the middle of the bed with Nate behind him, Walt in front of him and Ray wrapped around Walt's back.  They all snuggled as close as they could reveling in the freedom to just be home together and the knowledge that they weren't going to have to be apart anytime soon.  Nate was the last to fall asleep listening to the soft breathing of his loves, his family.  He lay there secure in the knowledge that while there was a lot of healing left to go they were home and safe and nothing else mattered more to him.  Scars would fade and time would heal, but their love would sustain them through the good times and the hard times as they would never abandon each other. Semper Fidelis.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am working on a few short stories still in this series time line. I have some of my own ideas but if there is anything anyone would like me to write about feel free to leave me a comment with the request and I will see what I can do. Thanks again for joining me on this journey. Also Thank you JoseKitty for all your help in editing this story and series I couldn't have finished this without you.


End file.
